[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 22 November 1998]

[Here is a continuation for PoD I wrote, by what I've heard, the next book is going to be called Towers of Midnight, so that is the name I've chosen. I hope you will like it. I'm stuck right now. Let see if you can continue this yourself.]

The royal palace in Caemlyn was a place of beauty, but today, Elayne saw none of it. She stared at Dyelin, unbelievingly. "It's impossible! Impossible!" She said, even to her own ears, it sounded like a whimper. It was strange, what she noticed. Birgitte's showed no emotion, face blank as new snow. But inside... Fear surged, and grief that was almost as vast as her own. But woven underneath it, woven through it all. Was worry, for her. Birgitte could feel what she did. Could feel that grief that seemed to be ready to swallow her. Sorrow that seemed endless. Coldness inside that burned her heart. Aviendha was pale in her green dress. She sat hard on the floor, unable to stand, and breathed hard. Usually the Aielwoman had her emotion in control. But now her eyes were wide with shock. Nynaeve held a hand to her mouth, eyes agonized.

"I fear it happened, Elayne." Dyelin said, Elayne closed her eyes. To shut the world out. To shut out the sight of the woman. She wanted so much to embrace saidar. To touch the True Source and destroy Dyelin, destroy the message she had brought with her to the Palace. "My cousin is very reliable. I trust him, The Dragon Reborn has gone mad."

Aviendha made a sound, half a groan, half a chuckle. "His name is Rand al'Thor, can't you say it?" She asked fiercely. Elayne opened her eyes tiredly, but the Aielwoman already had taken a hold on herself.

"Elayne...?" Reene Harfor hesitated at her glare, standing near the door, she looked almost frightened. The very first time she saw the woman hesitating, she always thought the woman as hard as the mountains. Her curtsy was deep enough for a scullery maid, "There is a man, coming to see you. He says he was sent by the Dragon Reborn and..." That was all she had a chance to say. The light of saidar enveloped Aviendha, and the first maid was dragged to the dais.

"Are you sure?" Aviendha voice held the quietness of the grave. "Did he came from Rand al'Thor?"

Reene nodded, that seemed to be the only thing she could do, Aviendha held her two feet above the floor. Elayne watched, another time, she might have stopped Aviendha. Now, she couldn't make herself care. "Send him in! Now!" She ordered. "Aviendha, release her."

Reene fell to her knees, "But... he's one of the Dragon's men." An Asha'man, not surprising that Rand would send an Asha'man, but why hadn't he come himself.

"I said, send him in! Go!" Elayne was surprised at the sound of her voice.

"That would not be necessary." A voice said, a man stood by the doors to her rooms. A tall man, a very tall man. In his middle age, with brown eyes and hair. He was clad in black, breech and coat. The sword on his hip looked like they were of one flesh. He had two strange pins on his collar. A silver one shaped like a sword, and another, on the other side, shining gold and red. Shaped like a snake with four legs. A dragon. The man was an Asha'man, a man that could touch saidin. A man that would go mad by the Dark One's taint on the male half of the True Source. A reason to the horror she saw on Reene's face, and even the fear, poorly hidden, in Dyelin's eyes. "I'm here." He had a very deep voice. And eyes that seemed to bore into her head. "Out!" He ordered, both Dyelin and Reene Harfor obeyed eagerly. The doors closed behind him, without a hand touching them. Elayne knew she had to be afraid, terrified. Only the Dark One has to be more feared than a man that can channel. So she was taught, but now, with the news Dyelin had brought, he could be Asmodean or Demandred for all she cared. If only he had some message from Rand, something to say that he wasn't mad. That she hadn't lost him before she even had a chance to claim him. Something... anything... the pain inside her increased with every heart beat. The man's eyes were locked on her, his gaze shifted to Aviendha, and back to her. Only his eyes moved, from her to Aviendha and from Aviendha to her. He made no sound.

A sound behind her made her spin back. Birgitte stared at the man with wide eyes. The shock she sensed within her was something she never felt before. Relief surged in her warder in waves that seemed to drown everything else. Relief! And another thing, Elayne couldn't put a name to it, it was as if someone promised Birgitte that everything would be fine. And she believed him. "I should have known that this was some kind of a trick." Birgitte said, her voice was warm, as if she talked to an old friend. "It fits you, doesn't it?" She smiled at him, "Elayne, may I present you Lews Therin Telamon, The Lord of the Morning, The Prince of Dawn." She made a strange bow, left hand on left knee, her right hand gesturing in invitation.

"Birgitte," There was no surprise in the man's voice. "It's... interesting to see you here." He seemed to shiver, and then he melted. Rand stood where the man - Lews Therin? - was. "I haven't expected anyone to recognize me." The smile faded, he returned his eyes to Aviendha, then it slid back to her.

Elayne stared at him, she hated herself for doing it, but she searched the signs of madness in him. She found none of it. Save the shifting look, as if he couldn't decide who to look at. Her or Aviendha. He wore the same black clothes as the other man wore. But he had no pins on his collar. On the left side of his breast there was a red blood circle. In the center of it float the ancient symbol of the Aes Sedai. It did float, it must have been the One Power. Rand's eyes lied on her, blue and gray eyes. A troubled look in them. But that was the only sign of nervousness in him. He was so beautiful that she barely held herself erect. The relief she felt was almost enough to make her faint. She realized how she looked at him, her eyes wide open, smiling at him like a child. She couldn't erase the expression from her face.

Aviendha was the first to overcome her shock. Nynaeve still stared at him, with eyes that seemed to be ready to fall off her face. She jumped to her feet and glid to him. Rand watched her coming close, without moving a muscle, he seemed to be drawing back. He rose a hard, "Aviendha," he started, his voice were... hesitant. That was all he had time to say. Aviendha slapped him, as hard as she could. Elayne winced, she knew how strong Aviendha was. Rand's head barely moved. Aviendha rose another hand, and Elayne thought she might slap him again. Rand thought so too. She could see it in his eyes. She began to move to Aviendha, her knees were so week she could barely stand. Birgitte was on her side in a heartbeat. Steadying her. Aviendha sent two hands and caught Rand by his ears. Elayne wondered why he hadn't stopped her, he could. Aviendha was strong, but Rand was stronger. Aviendha pulled Rand's head down. Pulling his mouth to her, she kissed him. Rand hadn't moved away, he couldn't, Aviendha had a good grip on his ears. And Elayne doubted if he would have had he could.

Aviendha released his ears, apparently making the same decision. She put her hands on his neck, hugging him. Rand's arms went around her. Embracing Aviendha. Elayne moved her eyes away. It wasn't that she was jealous in Aviendha, not anymore. But she wanted to be in the other woman's place. Birgitte gave her a comforting look. "Go out," Elayne said, "and take Nynaeve with you." Nynaeve hadn't overcome her shock yet. But now Elayne thought she had another reason to be stunned. She looked at Aviendha as if she never saw her before. Birgitte stared at her for three heartbeats. Then she nodded. She practically had to push Nynaeve out of the room. By the time they were out and the doors were closed again, Elayne had calmed herself. Rand was still kissing Aviendha. Finally, he rose his head, taking a deep breath. Aviendha lied her head on his chest, breathing hard. "The last time you kissed me, Aviendha." Rand said pleasantly, "You made me chase you half way around the world and run five miles in a snow blizzard first. Did anything happened that I don't know?"

"I thought you have gone mad, or worse!" Aviendha said, her voice still held the fear Elayne felt herself. "I thought... I..." Elayne stared at Aviendha, her eyes wide. The Aielwoman had tears in her eyes. And she blinked, trying to hide it. Rand saw it too. He rose Aviendha face at him with one hand, the other still held Aviendha close to him, he didn't seem to be ready to let go, forever, and kissed Aviendha again. It was even longer this time. Or so Elayne felt, she hadn't divert her eyes this time. She was surprised to find out that she hadn't felt that stab of jealously this time. She still wanted to be in Aviendha's place. But she hadn't felt it half as strong as before.

Elayne cleared her throat, for the third time, before they took any notice of her. Aviendha moved back, Rand's hands slid off Aviendha's shoulders, regretfully. He didn't even have the manners to blush. The red in his cheeks came from Aviendha's slap.

Rand smiled at her, her mouth tightened. He had no right to smile at her that way. And that with him still holding Aviendha's shoulder. But she couldn't make herself angry about him. Simply couldn't! But there was something she could do. Something she promised herself she would do. She had to force herself to walk to him, a part of her wanted to run to him.To be sure that he wasn't a dream. To hug him, to be sure that he was... sane. That last thought came in a grimace, she didn't like thinking about it. She embraced saidar, and readied waves of Spirit. She sent a hand to his face. He would be her warder. She hadn't realized that she was smiling at him, a soft smile. She wove the flows.

The air against her was fire. Every breath was agony, every heartbeat sent weaves of pain through her. Saidar surged in her, feeling her till she thought she would burst from that flow of light. And more. She was reaching her limit. Despite the pain, she tried to stop it, she failed. Something fell between her and the source. A wall that cut her off the light that filled her. A shield. But not one she could feel. Rand's shield. The pain began to fade almost immediately. And she rose to her knees, she wasn't sure she could stand. She was ten feet away from Rand. He was on the floor, breathing as hard as she was. His face was agonize. Aviendha was by his side. Sending worried glances at her, and demanding to know what happened. Rand hadn't even noticed her, he was too busy cursing. Every curse she had ever heard, and many she hadn't. She thought he might have a better control on the dirtier parts of the language than Mat had. As if he had read her mind, he shifted to the Old Tongue. She didn't even know he knew it.

She was on her feet, leaning on the wall. When Birgitte rushed in, a long dagger, almost a short sword, in each of her hands. "What happened, I felt... " She began, she stared at her for a heartbeat, than moved her eyes to Rand. Readying herself to attack him. Rand stopped cursing, he took Aviendha's hand and stood. Obviously leaning on her. It was a sign to his weakness, she doubted if he could stand by his own. She thought she could, barely. He felt it worse than she did, whatever it was. "Next time you will try to kill me, Elayne," Rand said, with only a touch of anger in his voice. His eyes burned a hole into her, "use a dagger."

"What happened, Elayne?" Aviendha said, helping Rand to sit on a carved chair. "You wove something, and..." She seemed to be searching for the words.

"She tried to do something impossible." Rand said, his face was still pale. But every sign of pain was gone from him, how he managed it she had no idea. She still felt her skin burning. "Saidar will let you guide it, you can't force it to do something. It should have been the first lesson you had to get in the White Tower. It will kill you if you will misuse it. What did you tried to do?" Birgitte held a hand for her, but she nodded, for now, even with Birgitte's help, she doubt if she could make three steps without falling flat of her face.

Elayne wiped a tear from her eyes, her body still ached. "You had to thank the pain, Elayne." Rand said grimly, she hadn't realize she said it aloud. "You are lucky to be only shielded, I tried to sever you. A reflex your sisters were quite good at teaching me." His voice was full of bitterness. Sever, the thought echoed in her mind. That was how they called stilling in the Age of Legends. Never again to touch the True Source. She shivered. This time, Birgitte didn't bother to see if she want her help or not. She carried her to a chair near Rand as easily as she would have carried a little boy.

"What were you trying to do?" Aviendha asked worriedly, "It almost killed you and Rand both." Birgitte glared at her, her warder never believed that she could take care of herself crossing the street.

"Birgitte, there is nothing here for you to guard from. Will you leave us?" It was an order, and surprisingly, Birgitte obeyed.

"Guard her." She said to Rand, just before she left.

"With my life and more." Rand's murmur was direct to himself alone, not to Birgitte. But she heard it, and Aviendha too.

With a groan, Rand rose from the chair, only to seat on the floor. He motion Aviendha to seat too, Aviendha never sat on a chair. For some reason, it surprised her that Rand was so polite. She hadn't expected it, though she should have. And looked at her, "What were you trying to do, Elayne?"

"I was trying to bond you, as my warder." She said, seating, falling, on the floor. "It... didn't work quite well." To say the least, if Rand wasn't shielding her, she would have burned out. Aviendha lied a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she hadn't took her eyes from Rand. The woman looked... eager.

"You tried to do what?" Rand's voice was sharper than any sword. He seemed to be looking inward for a moment. "Allana..." It was barely a whisper. "She it gone." He threw back his head and laughed. That rich laugh she remembered so well. "Light, she is gone!" He looked at her, "You made me a great service today, Elayne. Greater than you know. And as for the bonding," She didn't even saw him raising. All she was aware of was that she was suddenly standing, feet dangling a foot in the air. And Rand arms were around her. He kissed her, as thoroughly as she had ever been kissed.

Warmth flowed into her, a little like the light of saidar, only stronger, softer somehow. Light that filled her to bursting, and beyond. She was a ray of light, dancing over a frozen lake. She was a flower, a rose, warming itself in the sun. Then it faded, all the warmth in her simply disappeared. And with it, every last shred of pain remain in her from that accident. In the back of her head, two sets of emotions lied. One, the familiar one, was Birgitte's emotion. The other one... Rand's emotion, she was suddenly aware of how good he felt, holding her. She could sense his pleasure, his surprise, his joy. But more than all, she could feel love, as strong as she felt to him. But there were other feelings also. He was pain from head to toe. How he ignored it, how he kept it hidden so well, she had no idea, the pain was fading, it already faded completely in her, but it lingered on him. The pain she had caused him, it made her want to cry. She wanted nothing to hurt him. Nothing!

But although the pain was beginning to fade from him, one pain remained. His side, it felt like fire. As if the pain he felt at the moment of stabbing never ceased. In horror, Elayne understood that that was what happened. There were tears in her eyes, for him. How could he live like this, she felt him pushing the pain away, ignoring it. How could he do it? How could he smile at her so, full with pleasure, when his side burned like fire? He saw the tears in her eyes, he understood. He hugged her even more tightly, "What cannot be changed must be endure, Elayne. The Wheel weaves as it will." It didn't help her, she still wanted to cry. But she understood, she thought she loved him more for this acceptance. If she could love him more than she already did. She was still floating in the air, saidin, strangely, it didn't made her even slightly nervous. It should have, although Rand was the one channeling it. She touched Rand's cheek. Aviendha's hand was marked in red, and she could feel the pain of it. Aviendha was very strong, but he ignored this too. So many pains in him, so many he ignored. She didn't understand how he could do it. She wanted to cure every last pain in him, every last one of them. He deserved none of them, he was a good man, the best she had ever met. And that she loved him didn't affected her judgment in this area. Although the light knew that it did in many others.

Rand's hand wiped the tears from her eyes, gently, his touch burned on her skin. Aviendha watched this, smiling approvingly. Approvingly! How the woman did it, Elayne had no idea. When she was in Aviendha's place... Rand laughed suddenly. For no reason she could see. He laid her on the floor gently. He still grinned to himself when he took a step back and made a bow. Finer than she thought he could, a flower appeared in his hand seemingly from the air, blue and green and yellow and white. "I promised you a flower, Elayne. In the Stone." Was all the explanation he offered. She took the flower, the trembling in her hands had to be the affect of the bonding. She didn't tremble because of Rand. She didn't shiver because what the man felt inside. This time, the tears in her eyes were of joy, not of grief. I can't spend my life crying about everything Rand does, no matter how sweet it's. She thought to herself, she was acting as bad as Nynaeve. It was beautiful rose, cold as metal in her hands, and as she watch, the color of it shifted, blue becoming white, green darkening into black, white becoming yellow, and yellow turned into red.

"Thank you." Was all what she could say. But it wasn't enough, she crossed the space between them, and kissed him, a noticeably longer kiss than the first one. Noticeably more pleasurable than the first one. It was the first time she could feel Rand's side of the kiss. It must be as strange to him as it was to her. An eternity passed before she found herself leaning on Rand's chest, breathing hard. He said something, but she didn't bother hearing it. She was aware to her arms around him, and his around her. The sound of his heart beating, the sound of his breath, his smell, everything else was ignored. Rand didn't seem to mind. Part of her mind was amused, the method of bonding Rand had chosen was peculiar to say the least. "It's a strange way to bond someone." She said. Stepping away from him was harder than releasing saidar. And his hands lingered on her shoulders for a moment, he didn't want to let go of her.

Rand shrugged, "It's the way the Asha'man use, the way they taught me, it works well enough." He smiled at her suddenly, "Besides, it had its... advantages." His mood shifted, as quick as a lightning. He became deadly serious suddenly. He looked at Aviendha, the Aielwoman came close as soon as she herself left Rand's arms. "Elayne wanted the bond, and Min forced it on me. But you have the choice, Aviendha. You can..." Aviendha didn't waited for him to finish.

"I... didn't knew this hurt you so." Aviendha said quietly some time later. Her hand almost touched Rand's side then snatched back. It pulsed with every breath he took. Elayne couldn't understand how Aviendha kept her calm so well. She still had to fight down tears. Maybe being an Aiel had something to do with this, Aiels were like warders in many ways. And Elayne had yet to see the warder that would complain if he had a spear in him. She didn't doubt that Rand could be a warder as good as Lan. A warder to me, so I thought, but now I'm the one who is bonded. She thought, amused. Nothing seemed to be going as she planned, but on the other hand, it wasn't going too bad at all.

"What did you say, before, about Min?" Aviendha asked, Elayne had almost forgotten it. Min forced him to bond her.

Rand suddenly became cold, grim as death and twice as dangerous. "Seat! It's a long story." He said, "And not a pleasant one." He added in a murmur barely heard."You will not believe me," he began. "Light, I don't know if I believe it myself. But I've to. I hear a... voice, in my mind. Lews Therin's voice." Elayne heart froze, Aviendha's face became blank. Rand winced, muttering something she was glad she hadn't fully heard. Something changed in him, she wasn't aware of it until it was gone. A turning of Rand's stomach. A rotten taste on his tongue. The Dark One's taint. It was gone now, he released saidin. The small knot of emotion in her head became... dizzy, fading quickly. Then it became normal again. "I'm not holding saidin." He said, before she even began to form the question. "You felt it, haven't you? Like there are two of me?" He didn't wait to their nods, and reluctance ones at that. "It happen every time I grab the Source, or release it. As if not only I grasping saidin. It must be Lews Therin!" He sounded as if he wasn't certain, as if he wanted them very much to believe it. "It's not the taint. I know this, at least." He closed his eyes shut. Pain that had nothing to do with the body well in him, "I remember being mad. It was nothing like this." The pain was push aside, ignored but not forgotten. He opened his eyes. Elayne was ashamed in herself, and in Aviendha too. None of them made any move to comfort him. The pain in him was as real as any knife wound. If only she could understand why.

"Do you mind, for once, to give me some privacy?" Rand growled suddenly, talking to the air. His eyes were unfocused, he seemed to be trying to look into his own skull. One of Rand's hands began to tremble. Inside, Rand was full of hate and rage and fear. Grief and sorrow, pain and amusement! And half a dozen others she couldn't even name. Rand flowed to his feet, as if he had no bones in his body. "Come! Lews Therin has a... suggestion. I can show you him." She felt the dizziness in her head as he grasp the source. The air... shimmered for a moment, that was all. Rand took five steps forward. Elayne saw no difference whatsoever from where he was standing before and where he was standing now. "Come." He said again.

Aviendha rose slowly, and arranging her skirts, walked to him. She had a strange look on her face, Elayne thought she had the same on her own. She didn't thought that Rand was mad, but she couldn't accept what he was saying.

As soon as she reached Rand she stopped, aghast. "Tel'aran'rhiod!" She whispered. There was no mistaken in that feeling. "Rand, it's dangerous to be here in the flesh, the Wise Ones said that it can take away what makes you human." No one had ever ignored her as fully as Rand did. He stood, eyes closed, shaking. She counted twenty heartbeats before he opened his eyes and took a deep breath. Aviendha put a hand on her shoulder.

"The Wise One remember something from long ago. The memory had been twisted too much to be recognize." Rand said suddenly. He still had his eyes close, but he didn't seem to be shaking anymore.

"Some of us had came here, where anything we harmed in our madness was fixed." A voice said behind her. The voice Rand had, when he first entered her rooms. Using illusion.

"Elayne, Aviendha," Rand said, opening his eyes and pointing at a man that suddenly stood near him, "let me introduce you Lews Therin Telamon." The man looked like the form Rand had chosen, using that weave of illusion, as tall as Rand, with brown sad eyes and dark hair. Wearing strange cut cloth in brown and gold and red. The man bowed slightly. Smiling faintly.

Elayne watched the man nervously. She couldn't decide whatever he was real or not. It could be something that Rand had created. A simple thought was enough to create things here. But she knew it can't be so. The small knot of emotions in her head seemed to... the best word she could put on it was split. One for Rand, and a second one for the man Rand called Lews Therin. And Birgitte too. The man, she couldn't think about him as Lews Therin, not quite yet, seemed sane. Not at all like she expected. She blinked, the cloths the man wore were as fine as she had ever seen, but they were covered in dust. And there was more than one spot of blood on them. There was tiredness in the man's eyes, and sadness that echoed through the bond to him. "You're suppose to be mad." That was Aviendha, as forward as always. Elayne winced, waiting for the explosion that must follow this words. Rand felt very amused for some reason, though he showed none of it. Lews Therin looked at the Aielwoman, simply staring at her. A chair appeared behind him, carved ivory and ebony, above his head the ancient sigh of the Aes Sedai shined.

"He is," Rand said quietly, "as much as he was when..." Lews Therin didn't look at him, but Rand fell silent, though for a heartbeat only. "The reason, though, is different." The sadness and grief in the older man hadn't weakened, maybe they couldn't. The grief had the feeling of something that never ceased, as if it was always there, always would be there.

"Grief can drive a man mad." Lews Therin said, his voice was deeper than Rand's, in a different accent. But the way he said it, the silent sureness, almost commanding tone, was so much like Rand's that Elayne blinked, stunned. "Especially after... what I've done." The only different was the sadness. Compared to Lews Therin's voice, to his tone. A fade sounded cheerful. "When you're going to tell them? You did the right thing, although I doubt if they would think so, but they have the right to know. They must know."

"Later." Rand said, glaring at Lews Therin, the man ignored the glare. How he could do this, Elayne had no idea, Rand's eyes burned. And he was full of fury to bursting. "I hadn't come here for this. Later will do."

Lews Therin shrugged to this, as if this wasn't important. Elayne could almost feel something passing between the two of them. "Then why have you came here? To show them I'm real?" The smile on Lews Therin's lips seem out of place. It quickly became to a snarl. "Or to prove this to yourself? Am I a creation of the madness?" The man spread his hands wide, "A madman's illusion?" He shifted his look to her and Aviendha, none of them said a word, Elayne doubted if she could make a sound. She barely breathed. "Maybe there is some justice in the turning of the wheel." He said. "The reason he brought you here, save from making you believe that he isn't mad, yet," Her heart missed a beat to the last word, "Is that he needs you. Loves you, both of you. And you need to see something." Rand gaped at him. Surprise and pain surging in him. Lews Therin felt... determined.

"See what?" Aviendha asked, she wasn't afraid. Aviendha was far braver than she herself was. Far braver than she could ever be.

"The day you died in," Rand said, his voice held no emotion. He looked, and felt, sane. "I hope it can be delayed, but..." He sighed, so tired suddenly that he barely stood erect. Lews Therin lied a hand on his shoulder, murmuring something that only Rand heard. Rand nodded, whatever Lews Therin said, it helped, a little. A window appeared in the air to their left. Fifteen feet tall and twice as wide. And she saw... Aiels was running through a gateway, a gateway into utter blankness. She recognized the place, the outer side of the garden when she first met Rand. There was seemingly no end to the column of Aiels spreading wide all across the gateway. Some of them began to climb on the wall. Rand and Aviendha passed through the gateway, the woman in the window had a hunted look in her eyes. Rand's face were ice. Mat followed them, holding that strange spear of him. The gateway closed behind Rand. "It's the day you killed Rahvin." Aviendha said, Elayne glanced at Rand, his back was firmly turned to the window. And his emotions were unreadable.

"Look!" Lews Therin commanded. And so they did. Lightnings stroked out of cloudless skies. In the window Rand looked up, his face were stone, his eyes fire. Something appeared in the air above him, a disturbance in the air. Spinning slowly. Lightinings that stark the disturbance were gone. But it was already too late. Elayne saw the lightning landing, directly on a man holding a harp. Mat had been hit by another. Aviendha stared at the window in horror. In it, another Aviendha lied on the ground, staring at the sun with open eyes. Rand stood three feet away. The disturbance still spreading above him. It took some time before he looked around him, he knelt near Aviendha, touching her cheek momentarily. His face, when he rose, was something that Elayne would always remember. She would face a Myradraal gladly, shielded, rather than see that expression on Rand's face. The prophecies of the Dragon said that he would break the world again, by the look on his face on the window Rand had made, he was eager to do so. "It wasn't so!" Aviendha said urgently. "It wasn't so at all! You were there, and then you weren't! This hadn't happened, Rand al'Thor! It hadn't!"

"It did," Rand's voice sounded distant. The window winked out. "Rahvin killed you, the day I killed him. You were dead." He laughed suddenly, bitterly. As if he couldn't help it, the sound of it made Elayne cringed. "Balefire," Rand's voice was dead, "balefire erases the pattern. Erases the actions one had done. Only the memories remains."

"You don't explain it very well." Lews Therin said, surprisingly, he sounded... calm. "Balefire burns threads of lives out of the pattern, the problem is, it burns it so strong that it burns the thread back in time. The result is that the actions of the one you killed using balefire were erased from the pattern. It can be dangerous, very dangerous. Every time you burn a thread, the pattern is weakening. In the War of Shadow, the pattern nearly unraveled itself." Lews Therin stopped suddenly. "It might be better if you will show them." He said.

Rand stared at him, his eyes were blue gray stone, slowly burning. He let out a long, ragged breath, before nodding slowly. Inside... he was trembling, shivering, a branch on the point of break of snapping. The window appeared again. Rand was on hands and knees, his eyes still had that look, as if he searched for something to destroy. Not caring at all if he would be destroyed too. He rose to his feet unsteadily, his eyes searched for something. Then he rose both his hands, and a ball of... light, jumped of his hands. Solid light, molten fire, brighter than the sun. Twice as wide as Rand was tall. Sweeping upward, everything it touch was simply... gone. The window was gone. The air shimmered once again, and Rand strode through it, face like stone. Eyes that burned through everything he looked at. Inside, there was a tight bundle of pain, stronger than any pain of the body. And this, he couldn't push aside, couldn't ignore.

As soon as Rand took three steps and Lews Therin, with a surprised expression, simply vanished. Rand exited Tel'aran'rhiod, Aviendha was the first to follow, but Elayne was the first to reach Rand. "Now you know what I'm afraid of." He had his back turned to them. "I've seen you die, Aviendha. There is nothing I wouldn't do to stop this. The actions erased, but the memories remain. And I will not have it again. Never!" He turned to look at them, determination, eagerness, anger, fury and grief welling up in him. Ready to explode. "The bond, it had a trap, woven into it. If forces you to obey. Ilyena died because she refused to leave. I will not have you dead for being to brave to know when it's time to leave. I... I..." his voice, utterly cold and commanding at the beginning, began to falter. Elayne came to him. Hugging him, and Aviendha was there too. Holding him up, looking at him, she thought he might begin to cry. Light, there is so much pain in him. So much he never let out. So much he endured, how much more can he endure without snapping? She hadn't realize she was humming. An old song Lini used to sing her while brushing her hair. A song its words she didn't  remember anymore. It always calmed her, and now, it seem to help Rand, just a little bit. But every bit was important now. Every bit to keep Rand sane. Blinking, Elayne chased the tears from her eyes. It was no time for crying. She could cry later. But she knew she might as well cry over Rand's corpse all too soon.

Aviendha stood on the dais in the Grand Hall in Elayne's palace. It took a true effort, only standing. She felt like her muscles might simply tear her body apart. In the last three hours she had more shocks than in all her life. Rand had seen her dead, no wonder he had been so cold afterward. Simply thinking of him harmed was enough to bring tears to her eyes. And he had seen her dead, she didn't doubt it, not anymore. No wonder he became so cold after he killed Rahvin. On top of Lanfear's attack, she could understand why he had try to avoid her. But that was only the beginning, he held no secrets from them, none at all. She had been practically on his heels ever since he reached the Three-Fold land. And he kept so many secrets from her even so.

Asmodean, the thought chilled her heart. She had knew the man, talked to him, even shouted at him once. She could hardly believe it. And now the man was free, Rand thought he might have broken Lanfear's shield. If so, only Rand was strong enough to face him. She didn't know when she began to think about him as only Rand. It seemed important, for some reason. And other secrets, so many of them, he kept so many things hidden, so many pains buried. And trusted them enough to let them know every last weakness in him. She was becoming soft. Light, any moment, she might start crying! And knowing about Asmodean was only the beginning. Elayne had flashed in rage stronger than Aviendha believed possible as soon as Rand mention Allana, and what she had done to him. At least it was gone now, Elayne's attempt to bond him severed the bond to Allana. Neither Rand nor Elayne knew why.

Light, she had lived next to him all this time, despite him trying to avoid her, she knew almost everything he had done. Following him without him being aware of it. And he had kept so many secrets that she hadn't even began to suspect it. Not even in the beginning, when she thought she hated him she thought him as less than he was. A very complex man, to do all he had done. A very complex man, and one with more self control one would expect to find in any Wise One. Elaida, the thought tighten her mouth. If she ever laid her hands on the woman... she didn't know what she will do. She couldn't think about something that would fit what had been done to Rand. He wasn't... forthcoming about the details of his prison. But she knew him enough to learn as much of what he hadn't said as she learned from what he had said. So many secrets, so many that he had hidden from everyone, maybe even from himself. But he had hidden nothing from her and Elayne. How much it had costed, to bare himself so for them? She couldn't see Rand, she could feel him being close. But she had the feeling he stared at her, he felt worried. For her, she was sure of. For some reason, it didn't made her angry at him as it had before. It made her feel warm inside.

Elayne sat on the Lion Throne uncomfortably. It wasn't hers, not yet. Aviendha didn't pretend that she understood the wetlanders customs, they had the strangest customs one could think of. But apparently, seating on it violated customs and laws. Not until she was crowned as the queen of Andor. Elayne was angry on Rand, she didn't like to admit that she needed his help. Rand meant her to seat on the Lion Throne, and the Sun Throne too, and today he was about to make sure she will.

It wasn't something Aviendha could even begin to understand, Elayne wasn't the only one who wanted to be the queen. And the other women who also wished for the crown might still be able to win it. Today, Rand mean to make sure they wouldn't. He smiled saying it, the same smile he showed on his face, facing Lanfear. They will learn how... interesting the Game of the Houses can be, with the One Power involved. He refused to tell them what he meant by this, he said he didn't want to spoil the surprise.

"You will refuse for help only because you're too proud?" Aviendha said in a murmur, just loud enough so her near-sister could hear her. Elayne didn't answer, but she nodded, sourly. That was something she liked about Elayne. She would admit if she was wrong. And Rand was very... forward, explaining her exactly what he had to do in order to keep the throne empty for her. She wanted to shiver, remembering his eyes, enormous white hot fury, mastered by willpower as strong as she had ever met.

Many eyes stared at Elayne, and at her, and Birgitte and Nynaeve. Almost every noble of Andor was present, and many eyes held fury, sliding on Elayne, in a white and red dress, seating on the Lion Throne. All the nobles were gathered here since The Dragon Reborn wished to meet Queen Elayne of Andor. None missed the title given to Elayne, they blamed it on Elayne. Although it was Rand's men who made this statement. Those Asha'man made her wish she had a dagger in her hands. At least they weren't here now, they brought the nobles, and were gone. "Where is he?" Elayne said, quite loudly, "I do not mean to wait here forever." Aviendha could feel Rand, standing ten feet from the dais, hidden by flows of saidin. Elayne could feel him too, but the words were a sign, for Rand. Almost immediately fire flared in the center of the Hall. A ball of fire, ten feet in size, as hot the sun and twice as bright. Hanging in the air, it flared in every color possible. Aviendha closed her eyes, the light was blinding. She counted fifteen heartbeats before the light began to fade.

Rand stood in the Grand Hall, he was clad in blood red coat and night black breach. The sword she had given him was hanged on his hip, as if it was a part of him. No, it was a part of him, used as naturally as he had used his hand. The buckle that shone on his belt in red and gold was also a gift from her. She stared at him, surprised, he was calm. She felt only calmness in him. The soft, strong calmness that didn't even waver ever since he broke in their arms. The left side of his face was clad on shadow, but he was standing in no shadows. His right hand was also dark. Aviendha could hear ripples of murmurs all across the hall. The sense of fear filled it, men that could channel had gone mad, and then they rotten alive. She forced herself not to flinch at the thought. It was clear what everyone must think. Even Nynaeve was pale around the eyes. Although Elayne had warned her that Rand knew how to use illusion. Birgitte said that in Lews Therin almost had a talent in illusions. He was far better than anyone else in the Age of Legends. She glanced at Elayne's warder, the fair woman was looked the same as she always did, in yellow wide breach, and blue coat. They didn't hide a secret from Rand too. Elayne said that Birgitte agreed that Rand would know who she is. Rand already knew, apparently. She still had trouble to think about the woman as the heroine from legends she enjoyed so much reading about. On the other hand, she had troubles thinking about the man she loved as two people that were one. Rand, or maybe Lews Therin, tried to explain it. But even he gave up after some time, there was too much they didn't know. It was somehow connected to the huge ter'angreal men had passed in order to be chiefs. At the end, even Elayne had to admit she didn't understood what Rand said, something about the ter'angreal being triggered to him. Not only to mark both his arms, but also to make him be Lews Therin. He sounded, and felt, amused, saying this. It hadn't worked quite well.

"I've heard rumors that you've gone mad." Elayne said, the sudden voice startled her. She barely stopped a grimace, she hadn't been paying attention. Light, she could almost smell the fear in the air. That was what Rand insisted Elayne would say.

Rand title his head, as if thinking. "Am I not?" He said finally, "Does it really matter for you, Elayne of Andor?" A smile that didn't touch his eyes appeared on his face. For the first time, Aviendha noticed how much he had changed, how much harder he became. It was like he was another man entirely, with them alone with him. "The taint has a... strange affect on me." He moved forward, behind him, Aviendha thought she caught a glimpse of something red and gold.

A young noble, maybe five years older than Rand. Muttered something, the only word she had caught was "Kinslayer". It had the sound of a curse. Rand stopped on his track, staring at the man. The left side of his face was clad in darkness. But a small sun suddenly came to life where his eyes should have been. Fury babbled in him in waves that erased everything else. Fury strong enough to burn the world. It was controlled in a heartbeat. And pushed aside, the calmness taken its place in another heartbeat. Rand walked the five steps between him and the young noble slowly. The man was about to faint. Pale face and wide eyes. "I didn't mean to..." He began, hysterically. Something leashed at him. A tail, two hands wide, and ten feet long. Gold and red snakelike skin. Wrapping around the young noble, lifting it from the ground easily. No one made a move, a sound. Aviendha thought all stopped breathing.

Rand grabbed the man's throat with his right hand, the blackness around it broke. It look much alike the tail. Sharp talons rose the man's head, he stared at Rand with wide eyes. There was no expression in Rand's face, eyes. He was cold, calm inside, with a hint of amusement. The fury still babbled in him, but it was controlled. Lews Therin's fury, Aviendha thought. "Rand al'Thor!" Elayne hissed, quivering with anger, not on Rand. It was Rand's anger she was quivering from. Aviendha felt it herself, as if it was her own. So strong, it could affect her, make her feel what he felt. "I will not allow murder! Not here! Not in my palace!"

Rand moved his gaze to her, the approval in him left no sign on his face. "I can always take him outside." He said, Elayne glared at him, or maybe it was the fool noble she was glaring at. Aviendha wasn't sure. The tail swung, the man floated in the air, crushing around one of the walls with a loud sound of bones snapping. "He will live." He said.

The tail was gone, the shadow wrapped around his hand again. He walked to the dais as if he had no bones in his body. Aviendha knew this walking, she heard warders talk about it. "A cat crossing the yard." It was called. She couldn't imagine a more arrogant way of walking. Rand stopped for a moment when he reached the dais. Then he climbed them, Elayne stood. Her face pale, eyes glaring. "Some of you trusted friends here," Rand began, no one could miss the emphasis in his voice, "are afraid that I will control you. That you will be a puppet under my control." This time, Elayne's anger was all hers. Rand had told her what he was about to say. But she still didn't like it one bit. "I swear this to you, and may the light be witness to this words, Queen Elayne of Andor. I promised to Dyelin that as soon as you will be crowned, I will leave Andor. I promise this to you, for as long as you rule Andor and wish it, I will never set a foot in Andor." The gasp that run through the Hall was half of surprise, half of relief. Some of the women, those who wished for the crown and the throne, were pale as snow. Aviendha smiled inside, it was brilliant, those noble hated Rand and feared him. They would do anything to keep him out of Andor. What Rand had just said promised that they would support Elayne. Aviendha wondered if anyone noticed the loophole Rand had left himself. Elayne would want him in Andor.

Rand turned and walked down the dais, as soon as he stood on the floor of the Grand Hall shadows envelop him. Fire blazed around him. He was a dead black figure, framed by white hot flame. The the fire burned the shadows away. And Rand was gone. Wrapped in saidin again, she could feel him coming closer to her. He lied a hand on her shoulder, quite pleased with himself. It was disturbing, in a way, not seeing it, in another, it was fascinating. Elayne must have said something, the nobles were leaving the room. Few looked at the young noble, unconsciousness on the floor. Nynaeve stared at him for a long moment, Nynaeve always wanted to heal everything. With a tug of her braid, she left the hall. Without once looking at the man again. He deserved what he got. As soon as the last man was outside the room, Rand unmasked himself. He had a pleased grin on his lips.

"What did he said," Elayne said, motioning at the man on the floor, "to deserve this?"

Rand smile faltered for a heartbeat. "He said enough. I will send one of the Asha'man to heal him. You will be able to trust him with your life, afterward."

"How far you trust the your Asha'man, Rand?" Aviendha said, they were dangerous. Rand told them what that man, Dashiva, had done.

"I left them to guard Min." Was all the answer she had got, this was all the answer she needed. He trusted them fully. She will have to learn to trust them too. At least, those Rand trusted. He rarely gave trust, and as far as she had seen, never put his trust on the wrong person. It wasn't a cheerful thought.

Rand wondered idly whatever he was mad, he thought he must be. In the back of his head, three knots of emotions pulsed. Three women he loved, so beautiful he could barely breath, staring at them. Three women that loved him enough that they agreed to share him. Rand couldn't even begin to understand how they agreed to this. As much as they could never even begin to understand how glad he was, no having to choose between them.

Of course that having all three in love with you had nothing to do with it. Lews Therin whispered wryly. He was sane, lately. Ever since he had bonded Min, ever since Min had forced him to bond her. Rand could lift her of the ground with one hand, never touching saidin once. But all Min had to do was to look at him through long eyelashes and he had given up. The bond had no affect on the mind, not as far as he knew. But Lews Therin had all but wrapped himself around the knot of emotions in the back of his head. And he hadn't flared out in rage ever since. One can grief only so much, Lews Therin said, responding to his thoughts. It's time to leave Ilyena behind. Rand hadn't believed him for a heartbeat. Had he been in Lews Therin place, merely thinking about it made him shiver, he wouldn't stop grieving as long as the wheel turned. Something had happened when he bonded Min, something that only became stronger as soon as he had Elayne and Aviendha too.

What are you hiding from me? He asked, what is it that you don't want to tell me? He received no answer, he expected none. Once again, Lews Therin concentrated on the knots of emotion. Directing all his attention to them. What are you doing? Rand asked, the man was doing something. Lews Therin had a knowledge far vaster than his own, in the One Power, and in other areas. He concentrated in the bonds.

Elayne, grimacing at him, still seating on the Lion Throne, worried and anger flashed in her. She had stumbled on her on feet before, and it left a bruise on her leg. The dress wasn't quite in her size, and she was angry about this too. But underneath it all, he could feel her love to him. Warming her, warming him. Elayne, so beautiful he wanted to kneel to her, a dangerous thought. You could never win a lost ground to a woman. And already she could twist him to her will all too easily.

Aviendha, he could feel the weight of his hand on her shoulder, she was comforted by his touch. Lews Therin laughed at the thought. Rand almost wished Lews Therin would be mad again, he had a tongue that could be even more acid than Aviendha's when she was angry about him. And he knew almost everything he thought about. Shaking the thoughts away, he felt his way to Aviendha, listening was the best word he could find to what he was doing. Letting Aviendha's feeling fill him. Until there was so little difference between what he felt and she did that it barely mattered. She loved him too, but she was also afraid, for him, he thought. Once, the thought might have amused him, not anymore. He couldn't make himself laugh for her worries. Nothing that he could find would interest Lews Therin. He tried to search deeper, listen harder, there was something in her that troubled him. Something that he couldn't understand. Why would she feel so pleased with herself, and at the same time, strange worried. Something she pushed away, trying to ignore it. This at least, wasn't because of him. He had no idea how he knew it. He simply knew. He was surprised to find that she felt something that had no connection to him. Everything in the world seemed to turn around him lately. Aviendha, with eyes that were green and blue at the same time, and red fire hair and a temper as fiery.

Min, the bond hadn't lessened as his bond to Allana had been. He could never thank Elayne enough for releasing him from Allana. But it was still far off, dim. She felt troubled, but at the same time, at her ease. Maybe she was reading, she often felt so, reading one of Herid Fel's books. She spend as much time with those books as she did with him. He knew it was foolish, to be angry on a book, but he couldn't help it for his life. The worst of it, Min knew it, and she took advantage on it. He could picture her to himself without even trying. Deep dark eyes, and a hair as dark, hanging in ringlets to her shoulders. Min, with a light of amusement shining in her eyes constantly and a that small smile that made her so beautiful in his eyes.

"Rand?" Elayne sounded worried, she felt so, too. "Are you... fine?" Sane. He realized that he was standing, eyes unfocused, for a long time. Aviendha had stepped away. Looking at him with unreadable expression.

"I'm fine, I was just thinking." Birgitte looked at him amused, as if she hadn't believed him, he had hard time thinking about her as Birgitte, part of him wanted to name her Teadra. Lews Therin was stunned at the sight of her, to say the least. And he himself no less. He would have to have a long talk with her, and the sooner he will do it, the better it will be. "How long before you can be crowned?" He asked Elayne, he wanted it to be done with. After Andor, she could have Cairhien too. And save him from all the troubles ruling lands he never wished for. Of course, he still had Illian, but he left strict orders for the Council of Nine. He trusted them, to some extent, with Illian, at least.

"In a week, I think." Elayne answered, "It's not something that can be done hastily. Nor something that you can change." Her eyes were full of fury, he ignored it. She would refuse to ask for his hand if she was hanging from a cliff by fingernails. And she didn't like him helping her with something she thought she alone should be able to handle. There was no use in pointing that she was wrong.

"Good." He said, "Then you can spare some time for visiting my... home." He wanted to say grave, but both Elayne and Aviendha had heard enough for today. No need to hurt them more. Light, I can't remember the last time I cried that was. Like a child, too much pain he had tried to hide came to the surface. He couldn't control it, but couldn't regret it either. They had to know him as who he truly was. Not as they wished him to be.

"The Two Rivers?" Aviendha asked, startled. "What do you have..." He put a finger on her lips, silencing her. She bite him, not hard, but strong enough so he would know what her current opinion of the car'a'carn was.

"Not the Two Rivers." He could protect the place he had grown on, at least that would be saved, if not anything else in the world. He would take the troubles of the world into the Two Rivers. Maybe it would be safe, maybe. "Come." Birgitte looked at him questioning. And he nodded curtly, she would go too, he trusted her as much as he trusted Elayne. Although for a very different reasons. Trust is death, but none can trust no one. Give your trust carefully, and never let anyone be on your guard unwatched. Lews Therin whispered, and then he was gone again, back into observing the bonds. Rand took this advice to heart, but he still wondered what Lews Therin was doing. What could be so fascinating about the bonds that Lews Therin would forget himself completely that way was something Rand wasn't able to understand.

He drew more of saidin, enough to make a gateway, and hesitated, their might be dangerous for them. The flows formed, as if by themselves. And a gateway began to turn, not too close, he had to be careful. Not of them, he could trust Birgitte with his life, and Elayne and Aviendha with far more. More than he could trust himself. He had to be careful for them. His... home might not be welcoming for them.

He passed through first, and each of the women followed him. Each with very different expression. Birgitte walked through the gateway without a sign to be anything but calm. Elayne, that came eagerly, curious almost replacing the anger in her mind. And Aviendha, that looked at the gateway for a moment and blushed faintly. She had done so before, blushing, that is. Not looking at him that way, that look she gave him now made him feel... troubled.

Aviendha passed through the gateway, slightly red faced. She wondered what Rand would have said had she told him what she was thinking about. Nothing, she thought, he had changed so much from the man I once knew. And not all the changes were on the good side. This changes will have to go, she decided. She will not have the man she was in love with walk around half the time with a mood fitting to death bed. She will also have to... She dismissed all the thought of the future, she had yet to meet Min. She wouldn't share Rand with a woman she couldn't love as much as she did Elayne. She doubt if Min was a woman she wouldn't be able to love. Elayne loved Min, and she trusted her. Rand loved Min too, as much as he did her and Elayne, apparently. She could feel love in him, underneath everything else. Always existing, for her, for Elayne, and for this woman Min. She knew Rand better than she knew anyone else. Better he knew himself, she thought sometimes. She had to admit that she knew him better than she knew herself. She trusted his judgement, he wouldn't fall in love with...

"Ta'veren." Rand said suddenly. And she gave a start, looking at him. He had this far off feeling in him. Maybe he was talking to Lews Therin. You accepted what the pattern wove for you, you didn't tried to fight it. It was a lesson Rand thought her, far better than any of the Wise One could. And she had to accept that the man she loved was actually two men. Both real, and one that was older than the mountains. Ta'veren, she thought, half amused, half desperate, it was a ta'veren twist of the pattern that made fall in love with you, Rand al'Thor. What had the pattern destine to you? Ta'veren were woven far more strictly into the pattern than others, and had the pattern required it, Rand could fall in love with any milkheart wetlander that the pattern wished. "Stop!" Rand ordered, and she barely stopped herself before bumping into him. "There are traps woven here, I need to adjust them to you." For the first time, Aviendha looked around, they were in a huge hall, huge indeed, maybe ten times the size of any sept. Clans could be comfortably here. She thought, stunned. The hall ended in the distance, maybe ten or fifteen miles away. And to her right it linger for at least three miles. To her left, she thought it must be ten miles until she saw a wall. The ceiling was about twenty feet above the floor. There was a door about every fifty feet. All around the perimeter. She couldn't believe humans could actually build such thing. But the floor, the wall, everywhere she looked at, were far too smooth to be made by nature. Far too smooth to be do by any human too.

"The One Power," she said, "this was build with the One Power, wasn't it?" But even so, the size of the task amazed her, who would build such a large place, and why.

"Of course," Rand said lightly, too lightly. There was sweat on his face, and she thought he might be throwing up any moment. Saidin, what it's like, to want to vomit every time you touch the true source? "How else could I do it? This was only a mountain not a week ago."

"A mountain?" Elayne asked, "Where are we?" Rand was silent for some time, ignoring everything. Then he tremble, and let out a deep sign.

"Done." He said, "Now the traps will know you." He turned his eyes to Elayne. "You said something? I wasn't listening." He was tired inside, exhausted. Whatever the traps he set here. They must be the deadliest he could think of. She didn't even want to imagine what they might do. Unpleasant and nasty to the beginning, that was how Rand always was, to his enemies alone. She couldn't even start thinking about what he might have done without shivering. He could think of the most dreadful things in the worlds sometimes, or so it seemed.

"I asked, where are we?" Only a hint in her voice to anger, she felt the tiredness in Rand too. She must have, and she had to understand what it meant. Aviendha never thought Rand weak in the Power. She had seen him doing things that were beyond even Nynaeve, far beyond. And it wasn't the lack of knowledge that would hinder Nynaeve if she will ever try to compete him. He was maybe twice Nynaeve strength, maybe more. And what he had just done had left him exhausted. It was something she never saw. In Cairhien, she saw him channeling for hours upon hours. She could estimate the amount of power he was drawing, even with the aid of the angreal he had. He was strong.

"The traps here are nasty things, dead is the only thing you don't have to fear they would do to you, Aviendha." Rand said, as if he had read her mind. Not the first time he had done so, but every time it startle her anew. It wasn't fair for him to be able to do so, guess what she was thinking about so accurately. "The strongest I and the Asha'man could create, the worst we could think of." He smiled at her, softly, gently. Light, but he was so beautiful. "We're on the place I've created dying. The place I've born on, Elayne." His grin reached his eyes, feeling them with warmth. Reminding her why she love that stubborn wool head so much. "The Dragonmount welcomes you."

Elayne opened her mouth, then closed it and swallowed hard. Her eyes were wide, and the light of saidar enveloped her. "My Lord Dragon," An angry voice said. Aviendha blinked, and blushed, she stared at Rand so hard she didn't even notice what was happening around her. In the Three-Folds Land, this could have cost her in her life. And near Rand it was usually more dangerous than it was in her home. The man who spoke was young, a year or two below Rand. With almost white skin, and huge eyes. It was the hair that attracted Aviendha's eyes. It was night dark, and was as long as Elayne's if not longer. Arranged in two braids, two silver bells were tied in the braids' end. As Rand was, the man was clad all in black. The coat was strange, with high collar and made of shining silk, dead black save two pins on his collar. One shaped as a small silver sword. And on the opposite side of his throat, a snakelike creature in red and gold. A dragon. Those two pins shined bright on the coat's darkness.

"Narishma," Rand said calmly, "is something wrong? You don't like being a full Asha'man?" He sounded amused, slightly. He certainly felt amused, not so slightly. He had to force a grin down.

"You know it's not this." The young man said, touching hastily the dragon pin on the left side of his collar, as if to remind himself it's there. "It's that... woman! I can't turn around without seeing her behind me! She make me nervous!" For some reason, this made Rand even more amused. "You said we mustn't harm them. But can't you tell her to stop this. She make me feel like a horse she is trying to decide if she want to buy." This time Rand actually barked a laugh, she couldn't remember when he laughed so freely.

Narishma blushed deeply. With his pale skin, it looked like he was on fire. Rand muted the laugh quickly, but the amused smile lingered on his lips. She didn't believe it was possible but the man blushed even more. "Why don't show her the more... " he hesitate for a heartbeat, looking at her and Elayne. He seemed to think again about what he was about to say. Choosing his words carefully. "Show her the more unpleasant side of what you are. Carefully. I don't want her to be too afraid of the Asha'man." Both she and Elayne noticed the slight empathize in Rand's words. Aviendha wanted to cry, what had happened to him? How could he have changed so much? Manipulating the fear and hate people had for him for his use. It wasn't the Rand she left behind. It was a much wiser Rand, and despite all the times she wished him to be like this. She regretted this wish, it was nothing like she hoped.

Narishma seemed to be thinking for a long moment, then he smiled at Rand. "I think I know what to do." He said, for the first time, he looked at her he gave her the impression that he was looking into the inside of her skull. He looked amused suddenly, his gaze slide to Elayne. He was amused, the smile on his face matched Rand's. Had matched, as soon as Rand noticed the look Narishma gave them the smile, and most of the amusement were gone. "My Lord Dragon." Narishma said, still smiling despite Rand's glare. He touched the left side of his breast with a fist. And walked away, the opposite direction they were heading for. She heard him muttering something about sharp knifes and terrorizing Aes Sedai before he was too far to hear anything.

Elayne took a deep breath, she was on the point of trembling. "It was one of your... men, wasn't he?" She said, disgust clear in her voice, Rand staggered back at her words, pained expression on his face. He looked like he had been kicked. "What he's doing here, I thought you said this is a safe place." Anger burned pain in Rand, fury that washed away any other emotion.

"What is the difference between me and Narishma, Elayne? If needed, Narishma would give his life for me, for you, I trust him! If it will be needed, I will trust him with your life! He's as loyal as I can ask him to be, and more!" The words were delivered by ice cold voice, frozen fire. Rand suddenly looked taller, his hands were clutches to fists. Knuckles white. Inside, he was empty, no emotion, no thought, only that twisting of his stomach, and the feeling she knew from herself, the ecstasy of holding the One Power. "What give you the right to be disgusted of him, Elayne Tarkand? What give you the right to see what he is and judge him for this alone?" Rand hasn't rised his voice, but Elayne flinched. Aviendha remembered seeing Rand so angry only once before. When he learned about Elayne's mother's death. She could feel the inside of him. The fury inside he forced aside. Not letting it touch him.
"Narishma is an Asha'man, a guardian, not one of my men. I price his life as much as I price mine! What gives you the right to look at him and see only a man that can channel? What gives you the right to look at me and not see the man that can channel?" The worst of all were his eyes, emotionless when they looked at Elayne. Empty of every emotion save the glint of fury that anyone that didn't know him enough would have missed. Without adding a word, he turned sharply from Elayne and trotted along one of the walls of the huge hall they were in.

"Lews Therin!" Birgitte's shout made him stop on his track. He turned slowly, glaring so hard at Birgitte that the woman paled. Elayne simply stared at Rand, as she herself did, unbelievingly. She had never expected him to be so... protective about those Asha'man of his.

"My name is Rand al'Thor." Rand said quietly, coldly, the coldness of the grave, the quietness of death.

Birgitte took a deep breath, but she hadn't backed away. Aviendha thought that had Rand stared at her that way she would run away. As far as she could, there was so much emotions in him suddenly. Disappointed and rage were obvious on his face, but there were others, emotions he controlled so tightly that were barely existing. Pain, sorrow and grief were the only one she recognized. And love, almost muted. Elayne closed her eyes, she leaned against the wall. Refusing to look at Rand, Aviendha understood her, she could face anything from Rand, even hate. She thought she could, but not disappointment. "Lews Therin," Brigitte started, then she had to take another breath. Rand's glare match Sorilea's best. "I need your help." The fair warder said.

"Later!" Rand growled, "Whatever you want, it can wait!"

He already began to turn, to walk away, Birgitte call chased him, "I've given you an oath, Lews Therin, and kept it. But you have given me your word! Would you break your oath?" Rand had stopped, as if he had walked into a stone wall. He turned to Birgitte, no longer glaring, or even staring hard. Simply looking at her, for thirty heartbeats he stood, while all the emotions that flood into him vanished.

He didn't run to Birgitte, but certainly walked fast. A step away from the warder, he made a small bow. Rand bowed to no one! "I gave my word." He said plainly, "Whatever your need is, if I can help it, I will." Elayne opened her eyes to look at the two of them with eyes as wide as they could go. For herself, Aviendha thought her eyes might fall to the floor, her mouth hanged open. She didn't seem able to close it. Rand gave them a single look, and took Birgitte's arm, there was a door fifteen feet away. Birgitte and he passed through, three breathes later, a very bemused black clad man walked, trotted, out. Even younger than Narishma. He also had those two pins on his collar. He gave them a hard glare, and opened a gateway. To another part of this place, so it seemed.

"Rand feels... like an arrow." Elayne said. Aviendha stared at her, not quite the words she would have chosen. He always seemed to be thinking about three dozens things at the same time. How he kept them all in order was beyond her, but he did. Now... he seemed to forget anyone else. Concentrating on Birgitte alone. She thought he might even forget them entirely. "It was foolish of me." Elayne said to her, "to talk to him like this, I mean."

"Elayne!" The gasp behind them made both her and Elayne jump. "I thought you're in Andor!" Laughing, the woman hugged Elayne. Elayne hugged her back, her smile almost as wide as the other woman's. Aviendha looked at the two of them in surprise. The other woman wore blue coat, soft cream blue. With a matching breaches. That made Aviendha open her eyes. She had never met a wetlander woman who wore breaches. Save those Cairhienins fools who claimed to adopt ji'e'toh. The woman had dark brown hair. And, as she stepped away from Elayne, Aviendha noted the big dark eyes, and the mouth that seemed natural laughing.

"Min," Elayne said finally, "it's so good to see you again." So this was Min, Aviendha stared at her with open interest now. She had to admit that the woman was beautiful, as beautiful as Elayne was. Far more than she herself was.

"And you must be Aviendha." Min said warmly, the woman looked at her, openly examining her. "I'm Min. You're... different than I've expected." That made her blink. What under the light the woman expected to? "What happened to Rand?" Min asked, "He feels... focused, more focused in something than I ever seen him before." Aviendha hadn't thought about it that way, it might be the best word to describe how Rand felt, in the back of her head.

"My Lady Min?" A man said, Aviendha hadn't even noticed him. Another one of those Asha'man. A graying man, he had the look of a soldier. Tough and hard as any clan chief she had met. "Do you still need me? I doubt if there is anything here to attack you, and I've my own study to resume." Min's face became slightly green.

"Of course, Flinn." She said quickly. "I... wouldn't want to keep you away from your studies." She swallowed hard. The man touched his heart with a fist, just like the other Asha'man did. Turning his look to Elayne, he bowed, slightly. And murmured something that made Elayne stand strait. Staring at him wide eyes. Before Elayne could say something, he was already beyond a gateway.

"He's from Andor!" Elayne exclaimed, "I know him! He was in the Queen Guard!" She looked as if she didn't believe to what she herself was saying.

"An Andoran with very strange habits." Min murmured, her face still pale. Aviendha didn't think that they were suppose to hear it.

"What do you mean?" Elayne asked, her face amazed. "I don't remember much of him, but I remember enough. He used to guard me while I was a little child."

"He is as interested in Healing as Nynaeve is." Min said, "But he wants to know everything about it. He need to know how muscles works and how the body heal itself. He can't learn it from human, so he goes to the blight every couple of days, and get few Trollocs to examine. Apparently, they are enough for him to study." Her face became even greener. "I once entered to his... study. I feel pity over the Trollocs."

"How many people Rand have here?" Elayne asked, "Surely not enough to fill all this space," That was as far as she went.

Min began to laugh, the green disappeared from her face. "There is Rand and me, and the two of you, of course. And the Asha'man, six of them, as of now. Rand said he may go to the Black Tower to get more of them." Elayne shivered to this, and Aviendha barely stopped hers. Min said it so... naturally. As if it was something common, men channeling. "And the Aes Sedai, of course, twelve of them. With the two of you, twenty two."

"Aes Sedai?" Elayne asked sharply, "What twelve Aes Sedai? You went with only nine."

Min bit her lower lip. "Why don't the three of us go to Rand's... my rooms and drink something?" She suggested, "I think you will need something to drink, it's a long story. And..." Her voice dwindled, Aviendha felt Rand coming closer rather than heard him. He was... worried wasn't quite the word. Concerned was the word that came to her mind.

Rand opened a gateway, and passed through without a word, he at least had the manner to leave the gateway open so they could follow him. "Rand," Min said as soon as she walked through the gateway, "what is wrong?"

They were in a dark room, lighten by half a dozen glowing balls of light. The walls were maybe twenty feet apart in width, and twice that in length. There wasn't even one window in the room, and only one door. By what she saw through it, it led to Rand's bedchamber. The thought alone made her blush, Light, She thought, can't I think about anything else? There were about two dozen chairs, simple dark brown wood. Without any gilding or carving. Three tables caught her attention. One was loaded with books, on the point of cracking from the weight it carried. The other table was almost as loaded, but with maps instead of books. "Wrong?" Rand wondered, he was standing near the third table, his back hiding what he was doing. Turning around, three cups float in the air at them, it looked like a reflex. Min caught hers as naturally as she breath. Elayne grab it with a grimace so vile Aviendha thought she might sour the wine. For herself, she had to force herself to take the cup. It smell of plums, and something else she didn't recognize. "Nothing is wrong, save that bloody wool headed woman that Elayne had bonded as warder." His voice, the way he moved, even the way he stood, his eyes never resting on one spot, spoke of immense tense. "Women!" He muttered, throwing himself into a dark chair. It had the sound of a curse.

Aviendha look at him, then quickly searched something else to talk about, anything save Birgitte. The way he was, it would only darken his mood. This had to be avoided. "What did Narishma want?" Was the first thing that came to her mind, at least the first that wouldn't darken Rand's mood. The first that she can make herself say aloud without dying blushing.

"Narishma?" Rand sounded surprised, but some of the tense faded, the smile returned to his face. He was much more beautiful, smiling. "Narishma has a problem, Aviendha. I've... taken some of those who... taken me prisoner under... my custody. As I did with those Salidar sent me." The hesitation were painful, he had to force the words out. "Beldeine is one of those I've brought here." The smile changed, holding no mirth in it. "I needed saidar, to make such a huge task. And I can trust them, to some extent." He looked at Min saying it, and she nodded shortly. He seemed to relax a little, seeing it. How could the woman make him so... ? No, this could wait. "Maybe Beldeine is trying to prove herself that she isn't afraid of the Asha'man. Maybe she thinks she can have some use of an Asha'man as a warder." Min nodded to herself, without taking her eyes from Rand once. She sipped from her cup slowly, Aviendha doubted if Min even felt the taste of the wine. "Maybe it's me again," Aviendha blinked at him, Min open her eyes wide, only Elayne seemed to understand what he meant, "twisting the pattern again. Or maybe she is in love with Narishma." He sounded more than amused for the last. "Light, it's no stranger choice than falling in love with me." Aviendha glared at him, there was a difference between falling in love with him and falling in love in any other man. With others, I might have been able to maintain my wits. Rand smiled as if he read her mind, again! "Moghedien," He muttered, almost to himself, "if I ever lie my hands on that woman..." His voice fade, as if he didn't know the words to fit what he planned.

Elayne walked to him, and, holding her cup carefully, trying to look natural, sat on his lap. He smiled at her for a moment, then return to stare darkly at his cup. "What happened to Birgitte, Rand? This is the reason you are angry about Moghedien, isn't it?" She asked softly. For the first time, Aviendha notice that she had been holding a wine cup without drinking. She needed it, the wine was made of plums, soft and sweet and warm. She had the feeling that this was the way it should be, both the wine and Elayne. Min took a chair near Rand, folding her legs and wearing an unreadable expression. Aviendha hesitated for a long moment, she didn't like seating on chairs. But she didn't seem to have a choice. If she would seat on the floor, Rand would too. Elayne tried to make him forget his anger for her. She wouldn't get in the way of her near sister like that. And standing would have the same affect. She sat on the very edge of a chair. Uncomfortable.

Rand wrapped a hand around Elayne's shoulder, "Birgitte," He said, he titled his head, and his eyes had that far off stare in them. As if he was listening to something only he could hear. Lews Therin, it still made her want to shiver. After a long moment, Rand signed to himself. "She wanted to know if I can take her back to Tel'aran'rhiod. To unmake what Moghedien did."

Elayne sat very straight suddenly. Staring at Rand with all the dignity she could master. Aviendha wonder if she had to take notes. It must be hard, looking that way at a man while seating in his lap. "Can you do this?" Her voice was empty.

"What, taking her back? I think I can, at least. Lews Therin think it's too much a risk." He smile at this, as if he had just said something funny. Whatever it was, none save him smiled. "But I believe it can be done. I even think I know how Moghedien learned how it can be done. I even found a way to avoid the problems in your bond to her." His smile gone, blue gray eyes intent on Elayne's blue. Min stared at them, one eyebrow rise. Of course, she didn't know about Birgitte.

Elayne tried to rise, "When are you taking her? I want to say her goodbye before she..." Rand didn't let her go.

"I don't take her." He said simply.

"What!" Elayne exclaimed, "Why? What give you the right to make such decision for her..." She fell silent as Rand threw his head back, laughing.

Rand had tears in his eyes by the time he controlled himself, and Elayne cheeks were red spots in pale face. "A moment ago you were grieving her for leaving, and now you're angry of me for not taking her away from you." Rand said, amusement heavy in his voice. "It's not my choice, Elayne. It's her. All she wanted to know is whatever I can do it."

"She don't want to leave? Why? Rand, she is pain inside, missing Gaidal all the time." Elayne said, her voice held enough strength to make any Wise One pride. Min's eyes went wide the soon Gaidal's name was mention. She stared at Elayne as if she had never seen her before. Aviendha thought she might have guessed. Min remained silent, and so she herself did. This was between Rand and Elayne, and Birgitte, of course.

"She is your friend, not only your warder." The man answered, he took a sip from his cup. And didn't look at Elayne. Quite obviously hadn't looked at Elayne. "As for Gaidal..." He sighed heavily. "I rise her, did you know it? In the Age of Legends. My little band of heroes." His voice, his eyes, were unfocused, staring at something long pass. "I needed something more than simple soldiers. Twenty five years before the War of Shadow began, I already knew about the existence of the Dark One, about what he was. It wasn't hard to find orphans. The Light know there were too much orphans those days. I gather little more than one hundred," He smiled faintly. "Even Ilyena was shocked by what I planned, some of them weren't even five years old. But she helped, for pity of the children if for nothing else." He returned to the present suddenly. "I thought them how to use every weapon possible. Trained them to be my hounds." There was disgust in his voice, "I did what I thought necessary, never because I liked it. And every last of them swore an oath to me. And I swore the same to them." He stopped to swallow, he wasn't lost anymore in the past, he was explaining something, Aviendha wished she knew what it was. " 'As long as one drop of blood still flows in veins, as long as the wheel turn and the Dark One exist. To death and beyond.' " He quoted. "The Wheel sometimes has a strange humor. My band of heroes, so I called them. And every last one of was a hero. None of them survive to the last year of the War of Shadow. And I will make sure that their murderers will die, their death avenged." He looked at Elayne, at Min, at her.
There was something in his eyes, something she didn't understood. Inside, he was frozen metal. Nothing touched him. "I called them from the grave, on the day I... sealed the Dark One away from the world." The day he killed Ilyena. "I promised them that everything I can do for them I will. None ever asked me for a thing." The wine in his cup trembled. There was grief in him, about a time long past. "Go away!" he whispered suddenly, seemingly to the air. "I'm sorry," he said a moment later, "it happens sometimes, I get carried away by the memories. It doesn't matter anymore, save that Birgitte has the right to ask whatever she wish from me." He looked at Elayne, morning skies eyes with no expression. "Birgitte is your friend, Elayne. She wouldn't leave you. Not even for Gaidal, she always had too much pride. Without Gaidal, she always got herself into troubles." Fury burned inside him, lasting heartbeat only. "Moghedien promise to hurt her as badly as she could, when I will find her, I will make her beg to suffer as much pain as she had given." He said the words in a quiet voice, Aviendha believed him. He had the sound of utter truth in his voice. "Birgitte wouldn't let me return her to where she belongs. But I did... something to... help her a little." Rand was never so hesitant, never!

"What have you done?" Elayne asked in a small voice. "What could you do?" Her eyes widen in shock suddenly. "Loving Gaidal was the reason she was the reason she was always sad, so you..." She choked on her words.

"I erased the memory of loving Gaidal from her. Compulsation." Rand said, he sounded as disgusted from what he was saying as Elayne looked. "Before you will throw up a tantrum," he said quickly, "tell me what else could I do. I set it to unravel when she will meet Gaidal again. And she will meet Gaidal again. In a new body, a new mind. But it will be her Gaidal. As ugly as always. The pattern would allow nothing else. I would allow nothing else. And let me burn for it!" He glared back at Elayne, as hard as she glared at him. "What else I could do? I had no intention to leave her to bleed inside, Elayne. I owe her too much."

"I don't know." Elayne muttered finally. Her glare faded slowly. "I don't know, but I can't like it."

Min cleared her throat, loudly. "Would any of you mind explaining me what you're talking about?" She said, "It's a very interesting argument, but I would like to know the rest of it."

Rand laughed softly. "Of course," for the first time, he seemed to notice that she was seating in a chair. Hadn't Elayne been in his lap, she would have threw her cup on the fool. The way he stared at her... Rand stood easily, and set Elayne on the floor carefully. "Elayne, why wouldn't you start telling Min what you've told me, I need to make some... arrangement, I will be back soon." With this, he took a long step back, and flames enveloped him, he was gone in a heartbeat. He hadn't gone far, maybe to another room in this huge hold of him.

"Show off!" Min noted calmly, "the first time he did it, he frighten me half way to death." Aviendha had to agree, for a moment, she thought he was burning. Min rose from the chair, and sat on the floor, Elayne did the same. Aviendha appreciate it, she couldn't feel comfortable, seating on a chair.

"Min," she had to ask this, "how can you be so calm about this." Her gesture include the entire strange hold, build inside the Dragonmount, the Asha'man in it. "Those Asha'man, they can go mad any moment, killing anyone in their sight."

Min was silent for a long moment, her eyes, when she lifted them from her wine cup were dark storms. "So can Rand, and there is nothing any of us can do about it." Her tone changed, sadden, "Morr had gone mad, he was barely a boy. Rand gave him something to make him sleep, too much of it." She shivered, Aviendha caught a glimpse of unshed tears in her eyes. "I liked him, I grieve his death, Aviendha." Her eyes changed, for a heartbeat, they reminded her Rand's, frozen calm and burning fury. "Two Asha'man had given their life already for Rand. I know about two times he would have died without them. There are probably more I don't know about. They aren't the monsters from the stories." Min stopped to take a breath. "I like them, the one Rand's has with him, at least. They are men, they can channel, that is true, but they are still men nevertheless."

Elayne had red spots on her cheeks. What Min said was so much like Rand's words, so much unlike what she herself said that it seemed deliberate. For herself, Aviendha had her cheeks on fire too. Her thoughts weren't that much different than Elayne's, at least when it came to those Asha'man. Elayne emptied her cup, and Aviendha took a long drink from hers.

"Who was Morr, Min? What are you talking about?" Aviendha asked. Min took a deep breath and began talking. Aviendha drunk more of the cup as Min continued, that Rand hadn't told. He hadn't have a chance, after telling them about his kidnapping. Neither she nor Elayne was ready to listen to any further word of him. She thought he mentioned something about Aes Sedai swearing fealty to him. She was too furious to listen to anything. Min completed what they hadn't let Rand tell them. In some ways, it was as disturbing as the what Rand had said. He had another wound on his side, and that Darkfriend, Padan Fain, wanted him dead. For the first time, she heard what happened in the Sun Palace. She didn't know what to think. There was too much she didn't understood. Renegade Asha'man who wished Rand's death. The mad Asha'man Min had to take care for while Rand hunted for the attackers.

"Light," Elayne murmured at the end, "it there anybody who doesn't want to kill Rand?" She sounded desperate, no wonder about it, Aviendha understood long ago how frustrating Rand could be. He took no care for his life, and he had enough enemies to make Sorilea afraid.

"The three of us." Min said quietly, she didn't sound as if she was joking. Min looked at the cup in her hand and seemed to give herself a shake. "I think this is as far as I'm going to drink for today." She said loudly. Her cup was full of wine, as if she hadn't taken more than one sip. "I suggest that you would do the same."

Aviendha stared at her cup, it was almost as full as Min. She knew she drunk more of it. "I thought I've drunk more than one sip." She said, wondering.

Min smiled at her, a very amused smile. "You drunk at least three cups, if not more, Aviendha. You too, Elayne, so you can stop being so pleased with yourself. It's a trick that have to do with gateways, as far as I understand it. An old party trick, so Rand call it. This can get fool around with it even when you know about it." She blushed, "It happened to me, twice." Elayne took one more sip and put her cup on the floor. Aviendha settled her cup on the floor hastily.

"Three times, actually." Rand said from behind them, Aviendha hadn't felt him coming. She would have, he must have just come in. "You... were too drunk to remember the first time." His smile were so like Mat's for a moment, that Aviendha froze. There was a glint in his eyes. Something in his movement, amusement of sort. Not of them, or so she thought, something else. "Did I miss anything," Rand asked, he carried a tray. Her stomached rumbled, reminding her she hadn't eaten since yesterday, she couldn't eat, not when she thought Rand had gone mad. And later, there seemed to be no time for this. Rand's smile widened, as both she and Elayne snatched bowls from the tray before he even sat it on the ground. "I thought you will be hungry," Rand said, even more amused than before. She was too hungry at first to feel what she was eating. Some kind of a soup, with some kind of a meat in it. Rand took one bowl for himself and gave Min another. Two other bowls remained on the tray. Light, if I wasn't too hungry, Aviendha thought, I would kiss him. She glanced at him over her bowl, too hungry to do anything save eating. For some reason, being with him almost made her forget her body entirely, Rand and Min ate far more slowly. Min looked at them, amazed. Rand only smiled. It felt good, relaxed, to see him smiling. Light, there wouldn't a thing she wouldn't do just to see him smiling. He was so beautiful when he didn't. When he did, she had troubles thinking.

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 6 November 1998]

You shouldn't take this story too seriously. I made it mainly because I wanted a mad story. And after you read it, you will have to admit that this is a mad story. I began as a theory, but since I could find nothing to support it... At least I could make a story out of it. I don't know if it's good. But it's certainly not the kind of stories I usually write. And it's certainly something you will never see in the books. Beside, I can't write another story until I will have Path of Daggers, so I made as story that can fit always, or so I think. It might be mad, but I wish it was a part of the story. Just because of all the trouble this would make.

Elayne woke slowly. She didn't want to. She expected the pain, but she felt none of it. Her fingers met unbroken skin, but she didn't feel the weakness of being healed. She stood slowly, she was lying on the floor, wearing only a simple white dress. She was in a room, not small, but certainly not large. One of the walls was a mirror, the larger she had ever seen in her life. She looked at herself. Save her hair, she was fine. Then her eyes locked on her face. The hair was at the same color, and the eyes were in the same shade of blue. But the face were different, only slightly, the nose was smaller, and the mouth bigger. The face was wider. Small changes, but it wasn't her body. The implications made her shiver.

What happened to me? She remembered the Trollocs attacking, being led by dark-clad fades. She remembered Rand screaming in fury, facing a dark man with hawk nose with a face that barely belonged to him. And she remembered the other man, the man that cut off her flows and shielded her, and Aviendha. And then it was only the pain, endless pain.
You're dead, child. A voice whispered in her mind. Just like the two others died. As I died, so long ago, dead by those who were sent by the Lord of all the Darkness. There was endless sadness in the voice. Gloom and grief and sorrowfulness more than she could ever imagine.
Who are you? What are you doing in my mind? Where am I? What happened! She demanded in fury. What happened?
Don't be hasty, child. Let the others awake first, they would have as much questions as you will. And I don't like repeating myself. The voice was female, she was sure of it. But she didn't like it.
Others? She, her body, sat on the floor, leaning on the wall, and her hands arranged the skirt around her carefully. She did none of it. It was the other woman's doing. What are you doing? Stop using my body!
Tsk! Tsk! Child, it's my body, not yours, at least, it's so close to the one I born with that it make no difference. She felt amusement from the other women. It was much like having a warder you can talk to with your mind.
Brigitte! She thought in shook. What happened to Brigitte? She hadn't felt the other woman, but she didn't feel the pain of the warder bond being cut. She hadn't died, I would have known had she died.
She could feel something else moving, awakening. What... what happened? Min, Elayne was never happier to hear another voice as she was now. Well, maybe Rand's.
The other one is wakening too, the other woman's voice noted.
Min made a sound, half a scream, and half a cry of surprise. What are you? Who are you? Where am I?
Min, Elayne said, or thought, it was the same. I don't know where we are -
Inside my head, children. The women whispered, amused. It seemed that the Lord of Darkness does have sense of humor. I never believed it.
Elayne felt another presence. She would have bet anything that this was Aviendha. Who are you? That was all the Aielwoman said. What had you done to me. By what she felt from Aviendha, the woman was ready to violence. Elayne doubt if this could do any help here. Inside their mind.
So you have awaken, little da'shain. The voice murmured in satisfaction. Now we can talk. Aviendha growled. And her fury was stronger than Elayne ever believed the Aielwoman could feel. Aviendha was also calm.
It's you body, isn't it? The... The Dark One put us in your body! Our souls! He did! Min's voice sounded small and frightened. Amusement became stronger in the other woman.
Very good child. It something that, as far as I know, had never been done. Never four in one body. You might have to excuse me for being amused by... the situation. But it's funny, in a way.
What was so amusing in this? Elayne didn't had a clue. We are in the hands of the Dark One? How Aviendha made her voice sound so steady. Elayne thought that if she will try to speak she will never stop screaming.
In the hands of the Dark One? Amusement grew even stronger. You can call it that. They want to... use me. To win. They are no fools. Turning me to the Dark One, in whatever method they would use, would do them no good. Lews Therin would kill any that belong to the Shadow without blinking twice. Even me. But if I still belong to the light... I don't think he could choose. And now they had put you in my body also. For the same purpose, I assume. Who are you? Why holding you can stop the Dragon from sealing again the Dark One's prison?
Elayne couldn't think, nor feel anything. The woman's words. Impossible, you can't her! She died three thousands years ago!

I died, but I still live, your bodies are death. But you are still breathing. The dead walk, and the dead speak, to foretell the Dark One's coming. Lews Therin killed me, in his madness. And would never forgive himself this. He had no choice, but he would blame himself still. He caught me, The Lord of all the Darkness. Through the seals, and although I never swore myself to him. Caught my soul at the moment of dying. It nearly killed him, even the Dark One has his limits. But he did. And now he had you as well. Who are you that can stop the Wheel of Time from turning? Who are you that can stop the Dragon from fulfilling a prophecy as old as the mountains and the seas? What make you so important to them?
Ilyena, Lews Therin's dead wife. Min's voice was barely a whisper. But Elayne could almost see the nod of approval.
That is what I was, before I died. Maybe I'm still, I don't know. Who are you? It wasn't a question, it was a command.
I'm Elayne, the others are Min and Aviendha. Elayne thought quietly. We are, were, Rand's lovers. And more, had they convinced Rand into marrying them. He is Lews Therin Telamon reborn.

Stunned shock was the only thing that came from the other woman, from Ilyena. She could barely believe it. He took you? All three of you? Ilyena asked suddenly, after a time so long Elayne feared that the woman had gone. What did he feel for you? What do you feel for him? It took her a moment to understand what Ilyena meant.
Love! Min shouted. Nothing but love. Do you think that we would have agreed to... what are you thinking of? Do you truly think that he would have agreed to this? Aviendha remain quiet, but Elayne would have bet her soul, a miserable expression, that the Aielwoman searched ways to attack Ilyena.
It was... unlikely, but who can know. In this age? With Aes Sedai that are less than savages are. And da'shain that are worse than Friends of the Dark.

This time Aviendha explode. You! Elayne felt her reaching for saidar, what she meant to do with it she had no idea. They were at the same body as Ilyena was. She herself for furious on the other woman, she had no right to judge! Aviendha's anger faded away. I can't touch saidar! I can't even feel the source!
Aviendha's words had frozen her, she opened herself to saidar, feeling herself with the warmth and life and - there was nothing there, it was as if saidar had gone. As if she was stilled! Here, the True Source cannot be reached. Ilyena whispered. You have no idea how many times I have tried. Saidar cannot reach here. We are not stilled, if this give you any comfort.
What are they going to do to us? Min asked, surprisingly calm. Why putting us all in one body. And why you?
I'm who I am, and who I was. Ilyena answered. As you are who you are. Lews Therin, Rand, as you say he call himself now, would never act against our good. Blackmail.
He will never... he can't decide that we are more important than the world! He can't! Aviendha said urgently. He must not.
What would you would do if you had the choice? Elayne asked Aviendha, the other woman didn't bother to answer.
We are wasting time, Min said, there must be a way out of here. We must escape.
There is no way, I'm here for a long time, ever since Ishmael pulled me out from the stasis box, and there is no way out.

The body rose to its feet, and began to pace the length of the room, Elayne had no idea which one of them commanded it. They had to escape. They couldn't let Rand make the choice, he might choose wrong. For a moment she had no idea what choice she meant. But they had to escape. Rand mustn't allowed to choice. It would tear him inside, kill him from inside like nothing else could do. He shielded himself from anything, but not from them. If he would have to choose, if he... It would kill him.

Ilyena shut herself off the argument. It was useless, there was no way out. And the Light only knew how long had she been trying to break free. She had lost count of time long ago. She thought it must be a year or two at least.

She moved the body, there were always some food in a room that was attach to this. It was always full with food, but she never saw anyone filling the room with food. The body was hungry, strangely, she couldn't think about it as her body anymore. It wasn't. It was their body. Hers, and the other three women's. It looked a lot like the one she was originally born with. So close that she sometimes wondered about it. The body was younger than the one she died in. When she woke the body was about nineteen years old. Now it was about twenty-one, she thought. She had no idea if she will slow in this body too. She was allowed out of this room rarely, only enough so she could touch saidar. Enough so the lack of the One Power wouldn't kill her.

They took a good care of her, she had known that the wildest rumors she had heard in the War of Power had been only the edge of what actually happened to the prisoners of the Shadow. The War of Power, so long ago, if Ishmael was to be believe, three thousands years ago and more. She remembered waking, and how much this had terrified her. One wasn't suppose to wake from death. And she remembered dying. Remembered her husband, Lews Therin, the man she loved more than anything else, leashing out with the power. All the while laughing madly. She remembered facing him, and...

She had been awaken once afterwards. When they pushed her into the stasis box. "To keep you safe until you will be of use again, Ilyena." As Ishmael said. Time didn't pass inside stasis boxes. And it was as if they simply close the box and opened it immediately. But three thousands years passed. And the world she knew was no more. Saidin was tainted, and men that could channel were hunted down. Worse of all, the Aiels, those gentle men and women, sworn never to rise a weapon, had become something that was worse than the soldiers they had to breed in the War of Power. They had to do this, of course, but none like it. It was too much like Aginor's doings. And the Aes Sedai, they were less than savages. All this according to Ishmael's stories, but she didn't think that the Forsaken lied to her. He had no need to, and Ishmael never did anything unless he had reason too. It made her nervous, all their talks. She wasn't exactly afraid of him, no in the way she would had he been Rahvin, or Sammael, or worse, Demandred. His lust of power burned long ago any other lust.

Why did he tell me all this? She wondered idly, she forgot that she wasn't alone in her head anymore.
Who did what? Elayne demanded, the girl had to learn patience. She ignored her.
What are you doing? That was another voice, Ilyena thought the woman was named Min. So far she was the calmest, and the most reasonable.
Eating, if you didn't notice, I... we are hungry. It was strange, more than strange, to share a mind, a body, with another. Not to say three others.
Aviendha began to laugh suddenly. The mouth of the body twisted. I just thought about this. She said, but the Dark One did Rand a favor! She actually giggled saying this.
What! All three of them thought united, shocked.
Think, none of us liked having to share Rand with the two others. Ilyena never heard about such things, a man with three women, Lews Therin with three other women. It was enough to make her mad. Now we don't have to share him. He can love one woman only. Now we not only share the same man, we share the same body! She laughed more at this. The other two, on the other hands, wasn't amused. She herself wasn't, she saw nothing funny in this.
"We still have to get out of here, Aviendha. Before we can meet Rand. Or have you forgotten." This time Elayne had used the mouth to form the words. It was... disturbing. She felt the mouth moving, but didn't order it to move. More than disturbing.

"That can be arranged." A voice said behind her. A voice she knew, a voice she dreaded of. She turned back. Or at least tried to, the four of them tried to control the body at the same time. And the body tripped on its own feet, she fell hard on the floor. Too confuse even to send her hands forward to stop her fall. Let me have control! She shouted inwardly, I know him, and I know the body more than you do! We can't all control this body at the same time! She felt them moving back, and she could move the body again, they were just voices. But they sensed her fear, and fell silent.
"It can be hard to get use to a new body, Ilyena. Especially when you have to share it." The man said. He had another body, but she knew him. He visited her before. He called himself Moridin, he deserved the name. He also had other names. It didn't took long to guess the truth. Elan Morin, Ishmael, Ba'alzmon. He was the same man. None but Ishmael knew about her, and Moridin remembered her conversations with Ishmael. "You are leaving now."
"What?!" This was the last she could expected.
Why he's letting us go? Elayne asked.
He's evil! That was Min, Even Myradraals are pure near him. I could believe him to be the Dark One in the flesh.
Have you seen something, Min? Elayne asked.
Little, enough. More than I wanted. He and Rand are going to struggle against each other. I don't know who will win.
Quiet, Aviendha said. You can tell us all about this latter, we have to deal with him first.
A voice of reason, at last. Ilyena thought at them, Be quiet!
"Do you want to stay? You're a... message for Lews Therin, Ilyena. A warning. He will understand." He meant to explain no further. And she meant to argue no more, she wanted to be out of this place!
"Well? Are you going to let us go or not?" She asked.
"Tell him about me, Ilyena, tell him about what we did to those he loved. Ask him how high the price he's willing to pay is." He moved closer, and she danced back. She didn't like being too close to him. She didn't like him. But she was wrapped in air suddenly. And something she couldn't see threw her back. She flailed in the air. She was about to crush against the wall. She hadn't seen the gateway. But somehow, in the middle of the flight, she passed through it. She fell into the ocean.

As soon as she understood where she was she started swimming. Aviendha was afraid, she could feel it as well as she could feel her own fear. But the woman wasn't afraid facing the Forsaken. But she was terrified from the water. She felt something else, a knot of emotion, much like the way she sensed the other women. But there was no awareness in it.
Birgitte, Elayne called. Relieved. She is alive!
How many more surprises she would have? How many women would feel her head? For some reason, Min giggled. She heard her thoughts. Nothing was funny in this! But the other woman began to laugh.

[Originally posted as Barid Bel Medar @ 21 March 1998]

[This is a different story than my PoD Prologue's #1]

The Story Part 1:

Min had never been so happy in her life, had never been so worried, never so full of fear. She paced the length of the room for hours already, she doubted if she could stand still without exploding. As usual Rand filled her thoughts. Even before she made him admit that he is in love with her, being near him was all what she needed to make herself overjoyed. Now that he said he love her, she felt as if her heart will beat itself through her chest whenever he was near. He had tried to deny his love to her, and to Elayne and this Aviendha she never met before, but she rushed that by, it was easy. She really didn't want to think about it. But he had as much choice as she herself had; none. She had done it at least a hundred times since he had gone with his Asha'man to kill Sammael, eight or nine hours ago, but she had called all the memories she had from him, every last one. Sad or happy, she summoned them all.

She met him first at Baerlon, when he came together with Moiraine and Lan and Perrin and Mat and Egwene. She liked him from the beginning, even before see saw that she is going to fall in love with the man. She had never seen anything about herself not before nor after. Nothing! Why the only viewing she had ever had that had some meaning was of three women crying over his body. How could she love a man while she knew he was going to die? But after she talked to him in the first time she already knew, already started to love him. It was madness!
She knew practically nothing about the man, except that he was going to tear the world apart. She had always wished to find herself in some kind of adventures, but certainly not one that was going to make her name hated for ages. Lews Therin Kinslayer died three thousand years ago and was still mentioned as the main cause for the breaking, the last thing she wanted was to be in love with a man that will do it again. And it only become worse after they all left in the middle of the night. And when she thought about it afterward the only one thing that could make any sense that she thought about was that Rand must be the Dragon Reborn. The thought made her laugh then, she never thought that the horrified Dragon Reborn would be a backward farm boy.
But she did go to the library on Baerlon; small one but they had a tatter copy of the prophecies of the dragon. And she read all of them, she meant to find some prove that he wasn't Lews Therin Kinslayer reborn. Only, the things she read there only confirmed her suspicion. She saw a sword that isn't a sword and a laurel crown with swords around him. And the others, the things she hadn't told him.
The dragon's fang and the flame of Tar Valon joined together on field of blood. And a heron flying over his head. She knew that he could channel since the first time she saw him. A black aura that was visible to her alone spoke of madness and death that would follow him wherever he would go. And that wasn't even the worst thing she saw. She learned long ago that when she know something it happen, but to have to share a man with two women she never even saw. A fair hair and blue eyes woman with dignity that could have easily match the sun, the great serpent ring on her finger and a green shawl on her shoulders. An Aes Sedai, but no Aes Sedai would even think of helping any man that can channel, even if he was the Dragon Reborn.
And a woman with red hair and blue-green eyes, in dark silk and an ivory bracelet she held while she cried on Rand's corpse. The bracelet was important to the woman more than her life that was all she understood from that viewing. But she had no intention of falling in love with a man that was going mad if he wouldn't gentled. And no intention at all of sharing any man at all with any other woman. But she hadn't have the choice, and as the days passed she started missing him, she saw him for less than two hours, and was in love with him. Tied to him as much as his belt. And then she got the letter from Moiraine, commanding her to come to the White Tower. She went there as much because of she want to know what happened to Rand as because of the Aes Sedai's command. She half feared to find him there, the red would have gentled him no matter who he was suppose to be. And half expected to see him there.
And in the Tower she found one of the women that came with Rand, Egwene. She loved him then, and he her. But she had known that they didn't belonged to each other. And a second woman, Elayne Tarkand, the second women she saw when she looked at Rand.
She had tried to treat it like a joke since the day she first saw it. It wasn't possible that the Dragon Reborn would love a woman, no matter what she felt for him. And it was less than possible that she let herself caught by a man that was as good as mad or death.

She tried that for a very long time, she even succeed to make herself laugh at that once or twice. And for all her determination to not let herself even think of Rand, when she saw him on Falme; when he walked across the skies, setting them aflame, all her stubbornness of not letting herself loving the man faded.How could she let herself doing so? But that was that, she couldn't laugh at it anymore. And she watched him fight with a man who had a face from fire, watched him walk on screens of fire while a golden and crimson creature that glitter as the sun waved behind him. She had understood then that all that left for her was to surrender. The wheel weaves as the wheel wills. And for some reason the wheel wanted her in love with that man, though she had no idea why. She saw the fight on the sky, watched Ba'alzmon speaking words that terrified her thought she didn't understood their meaning, watched Rand answering him in the same way. Saw how Ba'alzmon's spear stabbed the man she loved, saw him disappearing from the sky. And only then she became really aware of what was going on around her. The Seanchans fought against the Heroes of the Horn, she saw Artur Hawkwing cutting off the head of a soldier of his offsprings. Saw Gaidal Cain with his two swords and Birgitte with her silver bow, and the man that fought with the sword of the sun must have been Amaresu. She saw all the heroes she heard on the stories, but she barely noticed that more than one moment or two. As soon as Rand and Ba'alzmon disappeared see felt something dragging her as if she was tied with a string. As she was, in a manner of speaking.

When she reached Rand and saw him, she first felt joy for him being alive and than worry when she understood that he might not stay that way long. She dragged him into a servant's room in the building she found him. And saw Lanfear, during her days on the Tower she read every thing she could about Lews Therin Telamon, and she knew that Lanfear was once his lover. She had never even considered that the woman might want her lover back, more than three thousands years after he died in sorrow of killing his wife. She also never considered what would happen, had the woman known what she felt for Rand. The books only said that Lanfear hated Lews Therin's wife, and she didn't think that the woman would accept easily that she had more chances than the Forsaken to be Rand's wife. But one thing she viewed on the woman, that made her stomach to icy stone; Rand would have to confront her one-day, and she didn't see anything that would hint on the winner, only that Lanfear would hurt him.

When Nynaeve and Elayne and Egwene arrived she hid it from them, hid it from all save Moiraine. Which only listened and said nothing, sometimes the Aes Sedai 's serenity made her want to strangle her. She had stayed near Rand when he slept, stayed till Moiraine told her she could go to sleep or be dragged to bed. And she was back as soon as her eyes opened. Rand woke up only four days later, when they already were in the mountains of mist. And when he saw how the others in the camp treated him he could not even stay near them without wanting to vomit. She understood him, maybe more then she wanted, she could have pictured easily how she would have done if anyone would look at her as if she was the light itself.
She and Lan and Moiraine and Perrin was the only ones which treated him like a human being, and she was the only one that was never afraid of being around him. After the Trollocs attacked the camp, after she saw how Rand behaved… she had 0never seen him so hopeless before, nor after. Never so ready to die and end it all.
On that night he disappeared, going to Tear in the hope he could touch callandor, and she went to the Tower to inform Suian about it. To inform the Amirlyn, that was all what she intended to do, but she stayed there, trapped because of a man and love. And during all her time in the Tower she saw nothing that could point out even one black sister. She cursed him a lot during those seemingly endless days. She hoped desperately for something that might get her out of the Tower and near him. Though she hadn't prayed for what happened. But Suian and Leane were both stilled, and they escaped the Tower. Suian, Leane, Logain and she, fleeing Elaida and the Tower as fast as they could. And the only thing that kept her from going as unaware of the world as Logain became was a viewing she told nobody of. Elaida stand, with dozens of others Aes Sedai, in front of a tall, reddish hair man. Rand, she was sure thought she couldn't see his face, and screamed as if her soul was taken away from her. She thought it could be for kneeling to a man, after all Elaida was red.

After they fled the Tower and reached Salidar she met Elayne, and told her what she kept hidden for so long. And they had agreed that they would share Rand, though none of them knew who the third woman might be and none of them liked the idea of sharing him. And when the embassy went to Rand she went with them, she could have stayed in Salidar. Had Elayne asked her she would have, she thought she would have. The urge to go to Rand might have been too great for her to refuse it. But Elayne never asked, and she thanked the light for that, she only asked her to give Rand a letter.
So she went to Rand then, and he told her of Elayne and of a woman called Aviendha. He never mentioned herself but she was sure, sure beyond any reason that he loved her too. She thought her heart might stop when she realized that the joy and the shock she felt she had barely hid. But all that gone in flush when Rand said that he didn't see her as a woman! The bloody man thought of her as if she wasn't a woman! With anybody else she might have pass it by, she really didn't what others thought of her. But him! She wanted him to think of her as a woman, wanted him to see her as one. Had the man slapped her face for hours he couldn't hurt her more than that little remark had.
But just being near Rand had a strange affect on her, she couldn't be angry on him for long, not for any reason. The hours she spend with Rand passed as quickly as the hours away from him refused to pass. She had great pleasures from teasing him, and she could find something to fill the hours away from him. But when the Aes Sedai decided to challenge Rand, for a reason he and she still didn't know, and when the number of the Aes Sedai had reached thirteen, she felt fear as she had only once before, when he told her what thirteen Aes Sedai can do to any man in Falme, when she thought he was going to die. He told her then that he will send her away for her to be safe, she didn't understood why this mad her feel so warm inside and in the same time so angry, but when he added that he would cut off his hand before hurting her… She knew that he couldn't view, nobody else save her seemed to be able to do that, but she suspected that he might have a foretelling, if Aes Sedai could foretell why not man that could channel. She saw a hand when she first met him, a severed hand that she thought was his. A hand that she knew will be severed because of something he would do for one of them, the three woman that love him.

On Cairhien she felt that life slow down, Rand met nobles, and ruled the country. She teased him and kissed him, every thing seemed to go well, save that he sometime became bleak, and in others he seemed to be talking to something nobody save him could hear. She could do nothing in both cases, so she tried to ignore them both, without really succeeding. But beside that she doubted if life could have been better, maybe if she finally manage to make him admit that he is in love with her. She spend the days trying to satisfy both him and the Wise Ones, she thought that if viewing had taken a physical effort she might have collapsed the first day. As it was, she did collapse, from tiredness as much as of discussing of all the things she saw. Rand set there beside her after that, as she had done when he fainted when he closed the waygate to Cairhien. Then she thought of a hundreds ways to tell him that she loves him, thousands ways to make him admit that he loves her. Every last one of them would have make her aunts skin her and him, in strips and very slowly. When the Aes Sedai kidnapped him she actually considered trying some of them!
The Aes Sedai caught her in her way to Rand, and for days she didn't even know they held him too. She was sure he would come to save her, sure of that. And when she found out that they held him too, about three days after they gone from the city, she worried too much for him to be miserable as she was before. When he found that she in the camp, though… she shivered and told herself that it was long past now. But the pictures welled up in her despite her efforts to ignore them. Rand being beaten after he had gone mad and killed the warders, Rand stuffed inside the small box. The Aes Sedai had beaten him every morning and sunset. They beat her too, for not answering as they wanted, but they made her watch when they had beaten Rand.
But far worst was the day when they were attacked, she was left without a watcher and as soon as she could she went to Rand, if there was a time to help him free himself it was then. Only, when she reached the box she heard something exploding and piece of the chest hit her hard enough to trample her down. She recognized it and her heart became empty, a vast waste. Tears streamed down her face and grief that she thought would crush her, a bleakness that was so strong it left nothing else. Colder from inside than she ever believed anyone could be, emptier than she thought possible. Rand was the entire world for her, filling her from inside in life. He was gone now, never to return. She never even told him she loved him. She was turned by someone, she didn't care who or why, she didn't care for a thing right then. Rand is dead! The thought bought another wave of sobs, and returned tenfold stronger. Rand is dead and I never even told him I love him!
She stared at the one who turned her over without really seeing him till now and then she gasped. Rand! Alive! She said something then, after that she could never remember what, she only remember the warmth and joy that came instead of the grief she felt earlier, came ten time as strong as the bleakness. She still cried, but now the tears were of joy and not of that deadly empty feeling. He burned the cords that held her, and help her stand; he looked so weak then. So unlike the Dragon Reborn in a tatter shirt and breaches; yet his face was expressionless and cold enough to make winter heart look worm; and his eyes were full of concern and fury, the concern was for her, the fury for the Aes Sedai. He seemed to relax when he saw that she was fine, he didn't even care for himself, a strange oddity in him, he never seemed to care for his own life. She had never saw something more beautiful than his face while he helped her to stand, her knee trembled, the relief had weaken them. But even with weak knees she was still stronger than he was at the moment, so she wrapped her arms around him to help him stand. What she really wanted was to be sure he wasn't only an illusion, to be sure that he won't disappear.

He straightened and moved from her, his face was all calm again, as it always was when she saw him channeling. He scanned the border of the camp, and whenever he looked at an Aes Sedai she fell from her saddle to the ground. She wanted to leave this place; she didn't understand why he didn't just make one of those bloody holes in the air and jumped through. The Aes Sedai might just lock him again if he would stay there long enough. But the Aes Sedai fell and chaos took over the camp. Aiels and Cairhienins and Mayieners were every where suddenly. She clutched Rand and she could almost see the thought on Rand's head, he looked everywhere with eyebrows up. From him, while he channeled, it was like somebody else fainting from shock, and then glanced at her and shocked his head slightly. Obviously he thought that he might had gone mad, but decided that he isn't when he saw that she saw the men too. A group of Aiels came close to them; one of them raising a spear as if to throw it on them and flames suddenly burst out of them, burning them down. And Gawyn appeared in front of them, offering her a way out of the camp, as if she would have take it without Rand. But Gawyn didn't know that she love Rand; Rand himself didn't want to admit it. When she told Gawyn that his sister is in love with Rand she felt Rand stiffening, she couldn't understand why. He was in love with her too, why did he refuse to admit it. She passed the memories of the battle on Dumai's Well quickly, she didn't really want to remember how the earth raised to kill the Shaido, or the day after the battle, when Rand searched through the bodies for the maiden that died in the battle. She also really didn't want to remember what happened to Colavare.

But she did dwell upon her memories after she found what the once queen had done to herself. They were the memories she treasured most. But the way Rand reacted to what they did… she hadn't even thought of resisting him, why did he thought he raped her?
He had closed himself from the world for four days and would have more hadn't she came and talked with him. She didn't understand why and didn't think she ever would. She came and talked to him, she hadn't even linked his shutting himself of the world to what happened, but to find out that he thought he raped her was a shock. But when she considered what to do then she knew that just telling him that no matter what he had done it wasn't rape and never could be won't work with him. He would just assume that she lied in order to make him feel better, so she pretended to be angry with him, well she didn't have to pretend much. And the look on his face was priceless!
But then he said that he loves her and all the anger drained right out of her. That he said her what she dreamed of hearing from almost the first day she knew him made her want to kiss him, to hugged him, to comfort him again, to scream from the pure joy she felt. All at once and all jumbled together so she could decide what to do first. After he said he love her she felt as if she walked on clouds. The pleasure she felt when she was near him seemed to be doubled since he admitted that he loved her, and doubled again when she could finally tell him that she loves him too without fearing that he would try to send her away. He tried it anyway, of course, but it wasn't really hard to make him see that he needed her with him. So she stayed and he went to the Sea Folk's ship. Not before he made her tell him about the viewing that she had hidden from him, she still didn't understood why she gave up in that fashion. She feared that the viewing will make him bleak again, he became bleak too often as it was any way, but instead he laugh! The man would have probably laughing had she told him that he was going to die tomorrow! He never seemed to care one little bit about himself! Didn't care when he was wounded or hurt or too weak to stand! But letting her to try to make something when he thought she was unable to do it, that he can't allow, she might hurt herself. As if he wouldn't have done twice in her case as she would have done, going to kill Sammael when he could barely stand! Had she taken a cold he wouldn't have let her ten paces out of the bed! And it was worse because she could do nothing to stop him whenever he tried to make sure she was safe. And she would do it, the foolish things that woman did when they were in love!
He never explained her what he thought was funny in that viewing, and she couldn't ask him. And when they went to the See Folk; and every thing seemed to be going all right. Every thing. But then he came out with the bloody idea of going to the rebels, that nearly killed him, and the scar he got from Fain's dagger hadn't healed yet. It did eliminate the rebel in both Tear and Cairhien, but she didn't care if another rebel would have started on Andor too if she could forget those horrible two days when she thought he might die any moment. To forget the even more frightening hours she had at the moment. Hours she spent thinking about any thing that might have gone wrong and leave him to the Forsaken's mercy. She and Rand talked about many things, and one of them was the Forsakens, and from what she understood none of them had that particullar quality.
When her mind pictured a hundred disasters, and there was no way to know what happened, no way to know whatever he was even alive. She thought before that when he lied on the edge of death was the worse in her life, now she found out how much she mistaken that. That she didn't know what happened drove her to the edge of madness. She continued pacing the length of the room, her thoughts full of Rand and worries. The sun had already disappeared from the horizon when the door opened. And to the room entered the last two women in the world she could have think of.

The Story Part 2:

Aviendha leaned on the wall of the throne room in Illian watching a woman in livery rushing out of the room, they might have been a little to rush with her, but only a little, though. Her knees were week from relief. She was so wary for Rand al’Thor, so afraid he might be dead by Sammael and his own stubbornness. Why did he need to hunt down the Forsaken when he was barely able to rise from bed? Why the mighty car’a’carn hadn’t had the slightest bit of care for his life? Those were questions she doubted if she would ever find answers for.
But Rand bloody al’Thor was safe. After he had worried her and Elayne and Min half way to death. Burn the man! She thought grimly. He had no right to make me that frighten, I’m not a girl anymore. That was true enough, she wasn’t a girl anymore. Only a woman in love, and when she will see Rand al'Thor again she was sure she would posses less common sense than a child six years old. Elayne and Min were with her, but none of them showed any sigh that they were affected by what they just heard from the servant. Rand al'Thor is the king of Illian, and Lord Brend, Sammael was death. This wasn’t the sort of news Aviendha could have taken without being shocked, though she tried to hide it. And was sure that she succeeded far less than her near-sisters. She pushed herself from the wall firmly and started trotting toward the gilded doors of the throne room., Elayne and Min gave a start when she started moving but followed her stride for stride. None of them wanted to delay their meeting with Rand.
As they walked on the halls of the palace they were silent, none wanted to talk, each wrapped in her own thoughts. They had talked enough when they waited for Rand al'Thor. And only three hours after sunset it was when she suggested that they might want to go to Illian, to see if Rand al'Thor was safe. If he was, they were just torturing themselves. She had done enough of that when she had to pretend that she felt nothing for Rand al'Thor when her heart ached when she was near him. When she had to fight herself for every heartbeat not to tell him how she felt for him. It was enough for her entire life, more than that. The thought came dryly, but she pushed it away roughly, she didn’t wanted to remember.
But if Rand al'Thor had lost for the Destroyer of Hope… they might be able to help him if he was still fighting. Or ant least try to revenge him if he lost. That was a way she didn’t want her thoughts to take, she would have prefered to be stilled and not to lose Rand al'Thor.
She didn’t want to remember all the time she had been forced to be near Rand al'Thor. The memories were too painful, to live in lie wasn’t a thing she could do very well, or enjoy of. And for the better part of her time with Rand al'Thor that was exactly what she had to do. It wasn’t that there weren’t happy moments with him, but that they were too few. Far too few, and nothing she could do about it. Nothing that ji’e’toh would have allowed anyway, and she wouldn’t have broken ji’e’toh. She tried to force the memories down but they came anyway, without her wanting it, she would see Rand al'Thor soon, she could finally tell him what she felt for him. Tell him that she loved him, tell him…
She loved the man so much for such a long time, never telling him that she loved him, always cold and bitter. Most of the time she was near him she tried to make him hate her and her worse fear was that she managed to do that. Memories welled up, also about Rand, his smile and face, the way he moved. Every memory she had on him crossing her head.
She sank deeper on the soft bed, almost sleeping and let Rand cross her mind. She knew that she will fell in love with him since the first day at Rhuidean. He belonged to Elayne, yet the rings never lied, and she fell in love with him. All that was needed was to be near her for the journey to cold rock hold, after that she was caught. Caught in a leash the bloody man put around her heart without even to notice. However hard she tried to make herself hate him, she always found out that he somehow managed to make her love him. And however hard she tried to make herself hated in Rand al’Thor’s eyes the more he seemed to like her. He tied her emotions in knot, had shaken her whole world and the man hardly noticed. She wanted to make him her, she could have done it. In that she was sure, all that she needed to do was to tell him she was in love with him. And the hours and the days she spent arguing with herself about it. He belonged to Elayne, she had the first claim and no matter what Rand had done to her heart. And on the other hand was that she couldn’t be near him nor be away from him without wishing to be boil alive by Trollocs or fades. Compared to what the car’acarn had done to her it would have been pleasant.
What she didn’t understand was why he liked her; he couldn’t even suspect what she felt for him. And all she ever shown for him was hated or anger or cold, she hated the man and the more she hated him the more he liked her. But she had tried on Rhuidean to be away from him and what happen was that she felt as if he had taken a limb from her, felt an emptiness inside her if she was too far from him for too much time. And when she found Ishandre in his sleeping chamber, she thought that he was ready to go to bed with the woman. She would have killed them both without hesitating a moment. No woman save Elayne could have him. None. Not even she herself, and the man protected the wretch woman. And if the man dared to enter some woman to his bed, any woman at all save Elayne she had no doubt that she would kill her. She had hard time enough about stopping herself from him for Elayne, she would not for any other woman. ji’e’toh gave no other choice, for her the only chance to get him was to become a sister wife of Elayne and but what she managed to understand from Egwene there wasn’t really a question of it here. Wetlander women don’t share men. So there was no hope for her, save trying to convince Elayne to share Rand despite the customs of the wetlanders.
After that night the wise ones mad her sleep in his tent, and she learned what a torture was. Being close enough to touch him, only three paces from him and not stepping to him almost drove her mad. And every night she had to sleep with his breaths in her ears, listening to him, knowing that she could be in his embrace if ji’e’toh hadn’t stopped her as well as a stone wall was the worst thing that ever happened to her. And it all became more difficult in her sleep; he hunted her in her dreams and never let her go, always following her no matter what she did.
And the tortures of being in his tent after what had happen to them in the snow were nothing compared to what she had to do to stop herself from coming to him every night. She knew that doing this will be a mistake, even that one time was a mistake even if a pleasant one. She had toh toward Elayne for that time, and she would not shame herself more in doing it again.
Yet every night she dreamed of it, it was the worst time in her life, and the sweetest till now. Now she could tell Rand that she love him, she wouldn’t have to pretend that she was near him just because the wise ones mad her to. Unwanted, uninvited, a memory caught her, she could have as well ignore it as well ignore her needed for air.
Since she couldn’t have taken a sweat tent in the city she thought Rand’s way of washing might worth trying. Only, when she was ready to begin Rand entered to the room, shocked as much as she, he stood there goggling at her and fear took her in his hold. She heard herself mumbling something, but what she saw was Rand, how he looked at her and saidar opened to her. She was never able to remember what she had done then, only that she was suddenly running through stabbing cold from him. To shield her honor, she had to run as far as she could from her. But he followed her even to here. And the cold slowed her down, and however hard she was trying to run she was slowing.
Frozen cold became solid when she suddenly found herself inside a river, the cold overwhelmed her body and she gave up eagerly, any thing at all was better than what chased after her. She felt the cold sipping into her, she was going to die and she couldn’t make herself care.
She was on the edge of dying when a hand grabbed her hair pulling back to the air, back to life. She felt warm flesh touching her frozen, and Rand’s voice talked to her, about Elayne and a woman named Min, about his plans for the future and the last battle. About every thing he thought important and every thing the wise ones told her to find out.
But though the words burned on her heart all she was really aware of was his arms around her, her head lied on his chest and she could hear his heart beating. When she opened her eyes her body moved as if by its own, taking his head in her arms she pulled him toward her to kissed him. And the world was gone in pleasure, after some time, she wasn’t sure how much only that it was considerable amount. She lied on his chest again, filled with warm and love that overpowered even saidar itself.
And only then she rose up from his embrace idly fingering the old wound in his side. She understoond that what they had done didn’t really change anything. Only mad her toh toward Elayne far bigger than it was before.
She still had to hide what she felt for him, and though she managed to be more comfortable around him while they both were awake. The nights were far worse than before, and in her dreams she lived that night again and again. What really bothered her was how he was able to pretend that nothing changed between them, and how he was at his ease around her, while she felt as if she sat on a sharp rock.
She crossed the time between the night in the snow and the battle with the Shaido in a flash, there were only endless torture in those they. And on the day when the battle began the maiden managed to convince Rand to go to the tower with her and Egwene, instead of rushing to the battle like a fool. What really amazed her was how easy it was to make him change his mind, usually he was fool enough for any five men she had ever met, and stubborn enough for ten, well maybe twenty.
Until that day she had never seen Rand channelling enough to judge his strength, but on that day she saw him channel practically for all the day, and by the thing she had seen him doing there he was more than three time her strength. And in that day the man scared her more than she ever thought she could twice! When Sammael tried to kill them and she thought him dead and when she saw him arrive. Looking more than half death and collapsed like a corps. Moiraine healed him then but even the Aes Sedai couldn’t be sure that he hadn’t gentled himself. And the hours she sat there worrying about him. From what she heard about gentling and stilling they were only crueler than death. And on that time sitting on a pallet watching Rand sleeping with the gleeman, both locked in their worries and fears. She really didn’t understand why Rand kept that man near him.
On those hours she understood that she didn’t only loved the man but… it wasn’t exactly respect but that was the closest term she succeeded to put on it, a respect that had nothing to do with that she loved him. She respected him for what he was, for what he had done. He ignored half a dozen wounds, and the weariness that came from channeling so much of the power, ignored every thing to do what he had thought was his duty. It didn’t matter to him that what he had done almost killed him, on those seemingly endless hours when she watched him breathing, not knowing whatever this one might be his last, something changed in her. She was hopelessly in love with the man for a long time, but on those hours she understood that she would be able to live had he die. Had something happened to him some part of her would die, the part of her that belongs to him. But with all those feeling something else stayed in the back of her mind, he almost killed himself and that mad her so angry that she considered killing him herself. He had no right to do this to her, no right at all.
And when he did waked she was so relieve to see that he hadn’t harm himself and so frustrate at his stubbornness that she want to hugged him and to slap his face till he look like ten sunsets. And after that when he walked into the great hall in the treekillers’ palace, she watched him dominating the room, she felt so … proud of him. But then something happened there; his eyes grew stonier with each noble coming to him till his eyes shine with dark light. She saw that cold glint in his eyes and barely hid a shiver, she saw him like that before only when he tried to follow Sammael.
After that day she had to watch him closely. A stream of young women had tried to enter into his bed. She had rather enjoyed making the woman she found on their bedchamber running half-naked. And it was even funnier to make Colavare stop sending the women. But beside the women she had to chase the days were almost pleasant. Had she could have find Elayne and convince her to share Rand with her those days would have been perfect. But though Rand seemed to continue liking her all that end the day they all gone to Caemlyn.
When he had learned that Elayne’s mother was dead she saw something that she had never thought of seeing in him, he usually had a good control on his emotions; but when Matrim told him that Morgase was dead, she saw fury strong enough to destroy the world. Yet even so she hadn’t fear from him, she never feared him.
And the day after that she met Lanfear, she had never felt so vulnerable in her life. Never felt pain as much as the Daughter of the Night made her feel. But even when Rand cut off the flows that she could see but was in too much pain to even think of reaching saidar and sever them she felt fear that was no where near to what she felt when she thought she was going to die. The Forsaken’s offer made her feel more pain than any that she felt when she was tortured. If Rand had accepted what Lanfear demanded of him she was sure she would have died. Through pain that only started to fade she saw Rand’s face when he answered Lanfear. His face frozen as they almost always was when he held saidin but his eyes was full of hate and scorn. She couldn’t understand the answer, she thought it was in the old tongue, but from Rand’s face and the Forsaken’s she could have guess what it was. She never felt that proud of him as she did then, never before and never after. And then Moiraine died and she was with Rand near the place where he made a hole into utter blackness and when she looked at his face she could have seen that he loved her, see what he felt for her as well as he felt it.
But on Caemlyn he disappears suddenly. One heartbeat he was where she could have seen him and the next he was gone; vanished into the air. But even when the fight went on she couldn’t stop worrying about him. And then he came back, throwing those bars of solid fire all around him and the Trollocs gone he hugged her, swinging her into the air. That was the last time that he was ever warm toward her. Since that day he was always cold around her, always so hard. She hadn’t understood any of this. But that was almost the last time she saw him showing a human emotion to her.
In the nights, when she watch his face silently, hard enough to be used as an anvil even while he slept she thought she found the answer. She thought at first that he was trying to avoid her to her safe, keeping her away from him so she couldn’t be hurt by someone who want to strike him and might get her. That reason made her feel both angry enough to box his ears and warm enough so she wanted to kissed him.
It had taken her months to realize the real reason. And when she did, all what she wanted was to sit down and cry as a broken heart child. He hated her. She was sure of that. On the day the gray man try to kill him, she lectured him about toh and duty — Hadn’t the gray man appeared she would have told the man that she loved him, telling him everything. And he looked at her with expressionless face and eyes that shine as a morning sky. Looked at her and bit by bit his eyes become stone, and, only for a moment so quick that she could have imagine it hate forge up in his eyes. Never touching the face, the same look he directed to Lanfear. She couldn’t stay there with him, not after that, and she practically run away from his presence, after she reach the garden she find a place where no one will find her and cried.
She cried until she had no more tears, until she almost fell asleep from exhaustion. There was no other way to hurt her more. Yet the worst of it was that she know that she deserved it, for the better part of the time she was near Rand she had tried to make him hate her. She had acted as if she hated him, no matter how much it hurt. ji’e’toh left her no other choice. She had tried to make him hate her and apparently she had done just that. She only wished that it hadn’t hurt her so much.
And when she tried to come back to Rand’s rooms she almost cried again when she saw him, the man she loved, the man who hated her, he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. And he hated her.

That thought hadn’t left her, couldn’t have left her. She fell asleep in the moment she was in her pallet, and dreamed about Rand, about that night when she run away from him. Only when she open her eyes in the dream she wasn’t in Rand’s embrace. Rand’s body lied near her already stiffening lost forever for her, lost for what she had done. She woke to the sound of screams; screams that she first thought belonged to her. But it wasn’t her that was screaming; Rand was there sleeping in the bed and screaming as if his soul had taken away from him. She was there as fast as she could, waking him up. No matter what he felt for her she still loved him. And to see him screaming was beyond her, but when she did succeed to wake him he only sat there holding her as if she was the last thing in the world. With face twisted in pain that she never even thought possible and eyes that looked as if saw every horror that ever happened to a man or a woman since creation. He started to talk to her, in voice that made his face and his eyes look cheer. He told her about the War of Power, about the forsaken and the Dark One. He talked about Parran Disen and the Hall of Servants and a hundred other places. He talked about Lanfear and Ilyena, about saidin and the taint. About the time he forsook the light and had gone into the Pit of Doom to swear fealty to the Dark One on the third year of the War of Shadow. He spoke about how he led armies of shadowspawn and shadowrunners in numbers that she could barely imagine to a trap that save the light. He talked about the arguments on the Hall of Servant, about a woman he called Latra Posas. He said her name with as much hate as he gave Ishmael’s. He told her about the day when he gather the Hundred Companions to attack Shyol Ghul, and the taint that was the result. About how he killed all those he cared about and cared about him. He talked about the Betrayer of Hope. And that he had been healed to see what he had done. He told her that he killed himself for that when he understood what he had done in madness. He even told her about the world of dreams, about waking form what he wanted to be an eternal sleep. Without dreams or nightmares to make him relive that day when he lost all what he had. About endless years without end or dying, about grave that had eaten him. He told her all that while tears streamed down his face and sobs shaked his body. Crying on her shoulder he finishes his story. She stroke her fingers through his hair, whispering words that she knew were useless. Rocking back and forth with his head on her shoulder she had put her head on his shoulder and cried quietly.
Not for all those long dead men and women he cried about but for the man she loved. For the man that had to carry all that weight on him for so long and for all the things she could have done differently to change the outcome of the events. She felt him falling asleep on her shoulder, and covered him gently with a blanket. Then she sat herself on the bed, cross legs and put her chin between her hand and watched him. She couldn’t decide with whom she talked with. Was it Rand who had cried like a child in her arms, she couldn’t believe this, she had seen Rand angry and in fury, saw him showing any emotion save hurt. As far as she could tell he didn’t even felt it, she saw him with eyes that shone like the skies with fury or hate and even love, but he never cried, never. Or was it Lews Therin Kinslayer himself? Had she talked with the dragon himself, with the man that reborned as Rand? Or was it only the madness in working that talked?
Yet the most frightening thing in all that was that in the morning Rand remembered none of it. She had tried to question him about it, and he denied any such thing. All while wearing face as if her being near him hurt him. That was almost the last time they talked.
The next time she talked to him was when he stepped out of a gateway, smiling smugly and looking almost as if her presence hadn’t bothered him. When she understood why he was smiling about she felt stab of fear and another one of hope. She might not come back alive from her meeting her toh to Elayne but she might also come back with Elayne’s approval. Yet whatever outcome will come from that she would accept. One way or another she won’t have to pretend any more.
It had taken her very small time to convince him that she needed to see Elayne. And most amazing than all was that he looked regretful of her leaving. Maybe he didn’t hate her, maybe he only pretended to, as she herself had done so long.
And so she went to Elayne and told her that she is in love with Rand, told her that she had spend a night in his arms, and from the look on her face she read all she needed to know. Elayne would refuse to even consider her as a sister wife. She would probably kill her too. She closed her eyes and fingered the bracelet that Rand gave her in Cold Rock Hold, in what seem a thousand lifetimes ago. The bracelet was her most precious thing in the world. She would have preferred losing a hand or an eye than losing it. She held Rand’s face in her mind, as he looked like on that night in the snow, if she was going to die she would die with him. And then out of the blue Elayne had told her that they could share him, giving her own thoughts back. But even more startling than that was the discovery of Min. That another women loved him, that there was another woman that she had to share Rand with. And then there was all the time away from Rand. All the time when she felt as if she was uncompleted and tomorrow it would all end, tomorrow she would see Rand again. She could tell him that she loved him. She would make up for all the time she had to pretend that she didn’t like him, she would.
All that flashed in Aviendha’s head in moments. And she found herself standing with Min and Elayne in front of the king’s rooms in Illian; bleak faces had hid any emotion. But there were still things she could read in them. The slight tightness of Elayne mouth and the way Min walked talked about tense. She had no idea what mad Min so tense, they knew Rand was safe. But she could have guessed what the other thought of, Elayne didn’t really liked having to leave Birgitte behind. Even when her warder insisted on that, Birgitte refused even to listen Elayne in that matter.
I won’t meet Lews Therin, Elayne. Not before he will know about me, Lews Therin was a friend for long time, but he still might know me. Sometimes things passed from other lives, and he saw me in this life. Let him know who and what I’m first. That was what she said to Elayne then, after a moment she continued in hesitated voice. You can tell him about me. He needs to know, and I won’t hide it from him.
A thing that made no sense at all, but Elayne seemed to understand what Birgitte talked about. Though Elayne insisted about telling Min and Aviendha also. Aviendha had no idea what it was, Elayne just looked at her oddly when she asked her, and told her that she could tell her only after they would see Rand.
Elayne led the way, she had been in Illian before, and she knew where the king rooms were. And that if the servant had told them the truth and Aviendha doubted if she would have dared to lie to them after what Elayne had almost done to her was where Rand was. The gilded doors of the king rooms were drowned in shades, and two of them became real.
Two black clad men, one in his middle years and having the look of a soldier and another barely more than a boy. Aviendha gave a start at first, and saidar filled her. She had nothing to fear while she held saidar, unless one of the Forsakens was still around. And she doubted that very much, none of them would risk being near Rand. With the power she could smell the perfume from both Min and Elayne, she felt every stir of the air against her skin, saw the pins that decorated the men’s collar. A silver sword, perfect with blade and hilt shining against the da’tsang black.
The light of saidar surrounded Elayne, and she felt the same weaves she meant to weave. Air to bind hands and legs, if this was the guard Rand had placed to keep him safe he was more than the fool he sometimes act like. Anyone could pass those two guardians…. Her thought stopped sharply as the two men tensed, as if they could feel the power in her. That wasn’t possible, no man should be able to feel that. No man save… the True Source was gone from her as the men shielded her, the light of saidar was gone from Elayne, and she staggered and had to lean on one of the walls of the hall to keep herself standing. Aviendha heard herself grunting, fear babbled up in her.
Those two men must be of the Black Tower, those who came to Rand to learn to channel. They could channel! And she was caught in their weaves, it was far different with Rand al'Thor. She had never feared him.
"Aes Sedai." Whispered the older man, there wasn’t fear in his voice nor hate. As it was usually in men’s voices when they talked about Aes Sedai. He merely mentioned facts. “What do you trying to do, Min? Taking… those to the Lord Dragon. And how did you get here anyway, we left you on Cairhien?”
Min glanced at him in surprise; "Rand will want to see them, Flinn. You can be sure of that." The men still looked doubted but the shield was gone from her and they motioned them to enter, she didn’t touch saidar again though. There was no reason to be foolish. They entered the room, Elayne still peering over her shoulder to see the two men, though Aviendha didn’t understood why. They just melt back into the shadows, their cloths making part of it. She could understand easily why they reacted that way when they felt them channeling, what Min told them… she meant to find the Aes Sedai Rand and these men had captured and make them regret for ever hurting her Rand.
The throne room or whatever it was called in Illian was empty but when they entered the bedchamber Rand was there, a young reddish hair men with blue gray eyes that was usually as hard as stone. She stepped into the room, toward him, eagerly. And stopped short after two steps, and dismissed the 'young', she was in Rhuidean and some of the objects there were old. Very old. Rand could make them look young; he had been aged since she saw him last. Aged in more than the month or so she was away, he looked ancient. He was so beautiful, her heart ached and her knees trembled. Rand was smiling, and he glided toward them, rising from the chair he was sitting on and putting the cup of wine aside.
"So hard, oh light. He’s so hard." Murmured Elayne, her face stunned.

[Originally posted as Barid Bel Medar @ 21 January 1998]

Background story: After Nynaeve, Elayne, Aviendha and the rest used the Bowel of the Winds. They think Mat is dead, they were at the sun palace and from there sent to Illian. The point of view belongs to Aviendha. Characters: Rand, Min, Aviendha, Elayne, Birgitte, Lan, and Nynaeve.

The Story Part 1:

Letting the gateway disappear, Elayne trotted toward the king's rooms in Illian. The palace was dark, the drought that lasted so long finished. Aviendha was proud that she and Elayne Trakand were part of it, yet in Illian even winter was hot, not compared to Three-fold land, of course. Elayne quickened her step to almost running. Aviendha understood fully. She was away from Rand Al'Thor for about a month, yet she still had to fight the urge to run. Near the tall ornamented doors stood a dozen maidens, they recognized her, of course and opened a way for her. Handtalk flickering between them, Aviendha didn't even bother to look; Rand was behind those doors; that was all she could think of now. Elayne stared strait ahead, head high and eye full of determination, yet there was something in her that hinted of tensions, she doubt if any man would have seen it, they never seemed to.

Yet, she was sure that her first sister was on the brink from fear of what going to happen in here. She pushed the doors open and entered the chamber, Birgitte right on her heel, not even trying to hide a very amused grin. Nynaeve followed immediately and so did Lan, but as soon as they entered the room they stopped dead, goggling at the sight of it. The room looked like nothing Aviendha ever saw before and from the other's faces, they saw nothing like this either. Chairs and tables of unknown design hovered in the air seemingly without any thing to hold them, with colors and shapes that shouted of the one power, twisted and odd, a turning globe showed a map of nowhere that Aviendha knew, others things that she couldn't even recognize. Tied weaves of saidar cross the room, of fire and air and spirit, what they meant to do she had no idea. They looked... cut, twisted around something that just wasn't there. There was the only thing that could have describing this. Weaves that ended in the air, weaves that couldn't do anything, the way they were arranged and weaved all wrong. Everything she had ever learned told her that those weaves couldn't ever be created, saidar had done whatever you want it to as long as you remember that it was far stronger than you, but this.... Those weave looked as if somebody had forced its flow to shape against something that wasn't there. And the power that was needed to weave these flows, she was part of a circle of 13 once, when they had fixed the weather, and she doubted if they could have managed to reach a half of the power of those weaves. Yet that wasn't what stopped them, on the wall right in front of them, a painting of a man and woman hung in midair. The man, not young anymore but also not old, with brown hair and eyes, as tall as Rand, just short of handsome wearing breeches and coat in a strange fashion, all in shades of gray and brown; the ancient symbol on his breast shining as it caught the light, and the woman, in blue and green dress as odd as the man's clothes, with bright blue eyes and golden hair.
Both of them looking as happy as any human can be.

"She... she looks just like me" Elayne murmured in small voice. Now that she was looking, the woman truly looked like Elayne, only with self-confidence and certainty that could have matched any women that Aviendha ever met. If you would have took off these woman ten years or add ten to Elayne, they could have been mirror reflections. But that she thought in the small part of her mind that was not captured by the man's portrait, he looked nothing like Rand save maybe his height, yet there was something in him, something in the eyes that she couldn't pin down that she saw in her dreams every time she dreamed about Rand, somehow she was certain that he was Rand. The blood drained off her face, as she understood who he must be. When she looked at her friends, Elayne's eyes were as wide as they could go, she goggled at the man as she would have done had the creator appeared right here to have a chat. And Birgitte's face could make gai'shain's robes look like fade's, Nynaeve's jaw dropped to her chest and she hung on Lan as if he was the only thing that held her up. Only Lan looked unaffected by the portrait in front of them. He eyed it briefly and returned to his silent scan of the room. "Lord of the Morning, Prince of Dawn, Lews Therin Telamon, Lews Therin Kinslayer and Illyana Sunhair his wife, on their wedding day." Said a man's voice behind them, Rand's voice but in an accent she never heard before.

She spun back, reaching for saidar as she turned, the sweetness of the power held her up, helped her to stand straight. She felt Elayne and Nynaeve doing the same, Birgitte held a long knife in her hand and Lan's sword was in his hand. The voice was Rand's, in that she had no doubt, despite the strange accent, yet the man that was standing in front of her looked like the one on the picture behind her; not in the way he looked -his features was just as she remembered-but in the way he stood and walked. He somehow managed to combine the wolfish grace of a warder and the self-confidence of ten Aes Sedai without looking absurd. He had an air of arrogance around him and power, power of will that Aviendha had seen in a man and only on two women. Sorilea was one and the second was the Mistress of Ships. She had known him for little less than a year and even at the beginning he was hard, she watched him harden as the time passed, but this.... Face cold as winter and eyes that showed no human emotions. He scanned all of them briefly, yet Aviendha was sure that he missed not one single thing, from her dress to Birgitte's way of standing, which was like a wolf meeting another, not knowing if the other is a friend or an enemy. Shifting her feet uneasily; she remembered what the wise ones said about entering the world of dream in flesh. Right here she could have believed it easily.
Elayne started to move forward, gliding toward him and stopped short as he shifted those cold eye to her, gray blue eyes that could have overpowered Sorilea's best. They seemed to know all your secrets, all the things you held close to yourself. Plainly Elayne had felt the same, and more plainly was that she didn't like it one little bit. Yet, even with those unreadable face and eyes she could see that something happened to him, something very unpleasant. He aged in years in the few weeks since she left, lines of pain and grief grooved in his face, and his eyes looked as if he saw all the world agony, all the sorrow he could. Sadness imprinted in his eyes. He looked tired to death, arrogant as a mountain, and so beautiful that she wanted to take his head in her arms, to stare at him till the end of time.

He, though, payed her no attention, he fixed all his attention on Birgitte, face expressionless, eyes that revealed nothing, showed nothing of what he thought.
"Once, on Falme you told me that I always choose women that make me trouble," he said softly in that strange accent, "you were wrong, Birgitte. I never choose those whom I fall in love with. The wheel choose the price I get and the price I pay, never me."
Startled, Birgitte looked at him as if he had just grew a third eye. "How much do you remember, Lews Therin?" She asked just as softly, "How much of you is Rand Al'Thor and how much is Kinslayer?" Nynaeve and Elayne looked at her in surprise, they apparently understood no more than she did.

Rand Al'Thor did not even bother to answer her, instead he looked at Nynaeve in… it was hard to tell what it was exactly, respect and suspicion was minor but there was also scorn and amusement. That sent chill in her back and stabs of fear that turned her stomach to ice. She had known that he would go mad eventually, she had known that since the first time she saw him, yet he couldn't be mad, not yet. He couldn't, if the man let himself go mad before she even had the chance to tell him that she loved him she… she… she didn't know what she would do.
"Logain is on the black tower, Nynaeve, he can channel, in that there is no doubt nor there is doubt that he is Logain. He claims that you have healed him, have you done so?" was all he said.
That was the last thing Nynaeve ever expected him to ask and she met his look wide eyes and startled look; after a moment she nodded.
"Good, good news at last" he muttered and his lips twisted in something that was very close to a grin, it didn't touch his eyes, though. A gateway opened in the air, a line rotating in the air as it opened into a large clearing of trees and leaves. The half finished black tower, five hundred paces tall already, slender and shining black in the sun, a golden dragon wound around a silver sword on it side stoodbeyond the trees. Men and women trotted around, and she saw some Ogiers standing about. The men, from every place and country on this side of the spine of the world wore all black, sometimes with silver sword or golden dragon on the collar, moved around with deadly grace, wrapped in pride and arrogance like cloak, the only drop of color on them save the collar was one strip of color from shoulder to waist. In blue and red, gray and brown, yellow and white and green, all the ajahs colors, a green band was the most common there and about third of them in blue, yet there was also large numbers of brown and yellow and gray. Few wore a white strip and even fewer reds. The women, mostly wetlanders, yet she though she saw here and there two or three of Far Dareis Mai in cadin'sor, usually encircling men with green strips. They have heard rumors about this for a long time, she never had been there yet she recognized the Black Tower.
As if she had read her mind Elayne gasped and turned from the gateway to look straight at Rand Al'Thor, "This is the Black Tower, isn't it?" Fear and unbelief mixed in her voice, "This is the bloody Black Tower. But… this already almost as tall as the white one, and you going to make it twice as high, aren't you?"
Rand did not bother to answer the obvious answer, instead he turned to Nynaeve and ordered her to go there, in voice winter cold and anvil hard.
"Ask any asha'man with yellow strip to lead you to Logain. He will know what to do with you, some of the asha'man burn themselves out and I want you to heal them." He added, looking at Nynaeve he went on in a stronger voice if that was possible. "Nothing will harm you on the Black Tower unless you start it. And you will go eventually, and it will easier for both of us if you just agree." Turning to Lan he scanned the man for a moment, then added in a much friendlier voice "Keep an eye on her, Lan. Make sure she will watch her mouth and sit straight, if you will not do so one of my asha'man might decide that she might need to learn how to do it. I believe that your method will be … gentler to her than those of the guardians."

Nynaeve's eyes widened by the word and outrage shown on her face. She opened her mouth, no doubt ready to lecture what she thought about Rand Al'Thor's orders, when Lan touched her arm and whispered something that made her shut her mouth in embarrassment and blushed, she stepped trough the gateway furiously, hand clutching her skirt and knuckles white. The gateway closed in the moment she and Lan passed it, but she could see that Nynaeve addressed herself to a yellow striped asha'man, face paint with fury yet managing to keep herself under control. That was all she could see before the gateway closed the view. Aviendha stared at Rand stunned, Nynaeve wasn't the sort of women who reacted to orders from any man that way. She half expected Nynaeve to snap his head off. For that matter she wasn't sure herself if she meant for Rand or Lan.
When she shifted her eyes to Rand again the cold disappeared, the lack of humanity was gone. She thought that she might want the coldness again, fury was clear on his face and strangely also relief. In three long stride he closed the distance between him and Birgitte, right hand raising as if to hit her, the dragon on his arm glittering as it caught the lamps' light. Birgitte stepped away from him, tried to anyway. Something seemed to seize her as Rand put his fingers on her forehead, Elayne and Birgitte gasped at the same time, as if thrown into hot water.
"What are you doing to her?" Elayne asked in anger. Birgitte was her warder after all. And the glow of saidar surrounded her. "What are you doing, Rand Al'Thor? Answer me, burn you!"
Rand answered with only part of his mind on the words, whatever he was doing to Birgitte taking his full attention. "I want to know if she if still bond to -" He cut off suddenly, cursing in low angry tone. He took his fingers away from Birgitte as she collapses on the floor. Rand channeled to lift Birgitte and than dropped her gently on a settee all in colors of green and brown. Birgitte looked as if she hadn't slept for a week, every drop of energy gone from her body. As soon as she touched the settee her eyes closed, her breath slowed, she seemed to sleep peacefully
"I rebound her, Elayne. That is all, not an easy thing to do, not for her nor for me." And he indeed looked just slightly better than Birgitte.
"Come" He said and went to a door that Aviendha hadn't noticed. They followed him after a moment of quick and wary conversation.
"Something is wrong with him, Aviendha. He talks like Moghedien did, and the way he moves…" Elayne whispered to her and shivered. Aviendha looked at her in surprise, the possibilities of that freezing her. She watched Rand changing from day to day since the day he came to the Three-Fold Land, yet he changed much since she saw him first.

Then she trotted after him frowning, she meant to find answers to this if it will kill her, or him! Elayne followed her with the same expression as she had.
The room Rand lead them to was full of furniture gild in gold and silver, large opened windows chilled the room. The moon shining brightly through one, silvery light and shadows covered the room; beside the moon the only light there was a large ball that shine with a light of its own. Inside three bracelets laid. One, made of ivory and ebony, for a man's hand, dozens symbols in black and white on it, each like the symbol on the crimson banner of light, made a chain about a inch or two wide. The two others were for women's hands, one of ruddily metal and ivory that creates the white lion of Andor on a red field. The second, of ivory too, the one who made this bracelets seemed to like ivory, was a simple circle at first look yet when you look at it again there were carvings on it, black on the ivory white, a thousand symbols too small to be done by anything save the power covered it. Each almost invisible unless you stare right on it, circling around its length.

A sleeping pretty young woman laid on the bed, naked arm and shoulder sticking out of the sheet, brown hair not much longer than her covered her face. By Elayne description it could be only the Min woman she hasn't meet yet. Elayne's face tried to match the sun, and for her felt like two or three. There could be no doubt at the reason that a young woman would lay naked on Rand's bed.
Anger and jealousy babbled up in her mind, she slept many night near Rand Al'Thor, listening to his breathing and every night she had to force herself to stay on her blankets, not to move into Rand's arms. Every night that she had to spend around him was a torture she could barely stand in. Every night she dreamed of what had happened between them after she opened the gateway to the storm, and this… this woman entered right into Rand's bed. Jealousy showed on Elayne face too yet she controled it, barely but she did. A thing that was wonder to Aviendha as much as the snow once had. Elayne controled herself far better than she ever could. She agreed to share Rand. She wouldn't give the smallest part of him to anyone if she had the choice yet Elayne and this Min had part of him too. She agreed, yet it was hard. Rand stood in front of Min, waking her gently.
Min opened her eyes lazily staring at him and mumbled something about the hour and that she was too tired to do anything save sleeping, but when she opened her eyes and saw her and Elayne, her cheeks went crimson. Yet even so she rised smoothly, though her face looked as if might burst in flame any moment, she let the sheet fall and trotted to a wardrobe and dressed herself quickly.
If her cheeks reddened before now they felt like fire, Min wasn't naked as she thought at first. Aviendha believed that if she was naked it will be more modest than the way she dressed. She was in Ebuo Dar and she heard Elayne and Nynaeve talking about the dress that women wear in Tarabon and in Arad Doman, yet what Min wore could have made a blind man blush from a mile. Some sort of shift that left the arms and shoulders exposed, and that end high above Min's knees, very high. The cloth hid nothing, offered every thing.

"I heard that blushing is good to the skin," Rand said in amusement poorly hidden. "But don't you think you carry it too far." His cheeks haven't even redden, while all the three of them were blushing furiously. The hardness in his face remained, yet his eyes weren't cold any more. He grinned at Min in more than fondness; eyes full of love, but he directed the same toward her and Elayne.
A tray with wine cups rose from a table on the far side of the room, flying to Rand's side who took one of them and sent the tray toward her. Aviendha snatched one of the cups from the tray and drank deeply from it. Much changed in Rand when she wasn't here. Yet the only thing that she could think of was that he loved her, he was so cold toward her before she left that since the moment when Elayne told her they could share him she wasn't sure whatever he loved her still or not. The look on his face and more important the expression in his eyes told her that he did.

"We should talk." He said as soon as crimson Min finished to tie the lace of her shirt. She eyed Min curiosly when they began to talk, she still wished she could have worn cadin'sor, and breaches and shirts should be more comfortable than dresses to her. Then Rand began to talk, and all thoughts of clothes flew right over her head, he talked in soft voice, the strange accent that Elayne claimed to come from the age of legends strong as he talked.
What he told made her seat stiffly, yet from the corners of her eyes she saw stunned expressions on Min and Elayne faces, what she felt made stunning look like a scratch compared to a death wound. Drinking more from the wine she leaned forward to listen to Rand.
 

The Story Part 2:

(Point of view belongs to Elayne. Characters: Various asha'man, Logain, Rand, Elayne, Min, Aviendha, Nynaeve, Lan, Ogiers and maidens)

Elayne still felt dizzy, and the wine had only little part on it. Despite the promise she made for herself never to drink again more than one cup of wine, last night she hadn't even noticed how much she was drinking. The excitement of finally seeing Rand again, and what he told them, made her ignore any thing save him. That he learned from Asmodean was as big shook as learning what Allanna had done to him. Yesterday he talked about what happened to him since the moment he saw Moiraine in the first time, talking in a quite voice, half to himself. He told her about the eye of the world and the green man, about Falme and Ishmael hunting him in his dreams, about callandor and saidin, the taint and the confusion that the letters she gave him caused him, he talked about the great sa'angreals and Lews Therin, that was really shocking to learn. That a three thousand years dead madman talked to him; tried to take his body away from him. Talking till the sun climbed high in the sky and until his throath dried. He told them about the forsakens and Lanfear's offer, about Aviendah's death and how he erased Rahvin's actions, about love and hate, being what he was and who he was. Baring his soul to them as he had done to no one, he spoke about his fears and hope, every thing he felt or though, revealing everything, hiding nothing. The only thing he refused to talk about was the time he was prisoner in the Tower Aes Sedai's hands. That he passed quickly, only mentioning it before he continued, he wasn't ready to talk about it and when she tried to push him to telling them what happened there Min stopped her, whispering that she would tell her what happened there later. He trusted them fully, that was clear, what was also clear from what he said was that he would do anything they asked. That bothered her almost as much as Allanna's bond.

Men weren't supposed to act that way. That he told them that he would do anything for them was warming, but … She was not sure why she didn't like it, maybe it was that he bared his soul to them. Letting them enter to places he won't let himself see and expect nothing in exchange was what it was. When Aviendha started talking about her life he looked… stunned, as they were when he talked. But at the same time she noticed that he didn't expect this, he was glad that they trusted him enough to talk to him as he talked to them, he was stunned by this.
Trying to understand why was beyond her, and though she knew that he would answer her questions if she asked him she just couldn't ask him this. The bracelet on her wrist caught the light as she held her arm up so she could look at it. It wasn't a real bracelet, of course, but a ter'angreal that made from saidin. The lion of Andor from ivory on a field of red blood metal. These created something very close to the Aes Sedai warder link, only stronger, and there were others on the linking. She could feel the taint on saidin sinking into Rand as he opened a gateway into the black tower, feel the wound on his side. The wound that Healing had done nothing about. Feel that he loved her and Min and Aviendha, feel the love that beamed from Min and Aviendha. Feel every thing about them just if they were her warders. The bracelet on Rand's arm covering the dragon on his forearm was made of an inch wide chain, each link in the shape of the ancient symbol of the Aes Sedai on the age of legend. And the one on Min was an ivory circle - Rand apparently liked ivory very much; he was the one who made all these bracelets - carved with symbols that appear on stone portals. Rand claimed that they represented all the ways the pattern worked. Though he didn't seem able to explain it. The bracelet on Aviendha wrist was her old ivory bracelet of roses and thorns, Rand had some talent in making ter'angreal, he tried to explain her how he did it, but she was ready to admit that her knowledge didn't get close to Rand's in that area. Memories from his life as Lews Therin Telamon carried him farther than she believed she would reach in her lifetime, though she had the stronger talent in making ter'angreal.

Of course, some of the things they told was just as big surprise. Like that Aviendha had known that she was going to fall in love with Rand after the time she entered Rhuidean. Or what Min told her and Aviendha later about what the Aes Sedai had done to Rand. For herself she told them about tel'aran'rhiod and Birgitte, Rand apparently already knew and Birgitte agreed to let her tell Min and Aviendha two days ago. She glanced at the warderess, sleeping on the bed, the ring hold tightly on her hand. She was in tel'aran'rhiod doing something for Rand.
Rand, wearing black as the asha'man, with golden dragon and a silver sword on his collar. Green wide strip from right shoulder to the left side of his waist. For some reason he grinned at the strip as much as he grinned at them. Amuse for unknown reason. Or it might be the madness.
A sickening filling from Rand reminded her that he would go mad eventually if she could ever forget about that. Aviendha on his heels and she and Min on either side he went through, hundreds of miles cover in one step.
Not the madness, Elayne. Not yet. That wasn't her thought. One of the strange things about the bracelets was that they carried thoughts through the link, strong thoughts only, yet it was frightening to hear Rand's thoughts answering hers.
Aviendha looked at them oddly, she could hear the thoughts too, of course, but she would never let herself be worried about something she could do nothing about. Min on the other hand, looked as if the reminder of Rand's and every man-channeling path wasn't welcome.
She turned away to look on the black tower, yesterday she was able to see only little part of it through the gateway. A half build tower, six hundreds pace tall ruled the view, a dragon wound itself on a silver sword on its side, both at least hundred feet tall and half a wide. The tower was already one of the tallest building in the world, and if she wasn't missing her guess completely the asha'man meant to add to this building at least two hundreds paces. She knew that Rand had probably gathered every man who could learn to channel on the lands between the Arith ocean and the spine of the world, but these… she counted at least eight hundreds men in black, nearly twice that number women and children, she even thought she saw a few aiel women among them.
"All those in black are asha'man." Rand said, pride in his voice. "And any man a weapon."
Aviendha nodded in appreciation, that also came from the part in her mind where Aviendha took space. But Min shivered and Elayne barely stopped herself from doing the same. Men channeling were a thing of nightmare, and now there were eight hundreds of them. The breaking was caused by men, male Aes Sedai who had gone mad because of the taint on saidin. Because of the actions of Lews Therin Kinslayer and the hundred companions on the slopes of Shyol Ghul.
Don't you think I blame myself enough? Rand's voice whisper sadly in her mind. Every day is pain for me, for each one who dies I bled. For any man that has gone mad because of the taint I cried. Yet if I had to do it again I would, knowing what will happen. If I have to kill again those I love, I will do it. I have done so more times than I can count; I will do so as long as the wheel turns. To the end of time. He started walking quickly, toward the half finished tower, Min and Aviendha with him, Elayne followed them after a moment shuddering. She didn't like being forced to remember that Rand was Lews Therin, that he remembered his life as Lews Therin Telamon. Trying hard to think about something else she scanned the men in front of her. Each clad in black, grim faces and wrapped in pride. Carrying a sword on hip or back, they moved like warders, with the arrogance of a king with an army on his heels.
One of the strange things she noticed was that every man wore the same wide strip, in all the ajahs colors. Blue and red and white and gray, Green and brown and yellow. About half of than wore green strips, about a third carry a blue one, the rest split more or less equally, only the red strips were rare, only a dozen men or so wore them.
"What do the color mean, Rand Al'Thor?" Aviendha asked softly, she watched the men with flat eyes only the small knot of emotions in Elayne's head told her that her friend was uneasy. Rand to her surprise didn't looked as stone faced as he usually was near other people save the three of them, in fact he looked more… free than she saw him around other people.
"Just like the Aes Sedai's ajahs, they use different methods, of course, and there is no limit to the number of warderess you can bond. The colors are created to reflect what they support of, the greens are usually lechers, most of the blues are married, yellows heal, browns think too much, whites live in the void and the grays negotiate." Suddenly he barked with laugher. " Once a gray toldl his warderess to shut up or he would turn her into a chicken and eat her. She hadn't believed him of course, so he took her into tel'aran'rhiod and turned her, he didn't eat her, of course, but since then she refused to even look at birds." He finished with a wide grin, amusement in his voice. Aviendha burst out laughing and Min grinned, but Elayne didn't see anything laughing in that. If the asha'man could enter the world of dreams… she needed to tell Egwne about that, to warn all the Aes Sedai who followed Egwene, if one of them would find herself in front of an asha'man she would probably try to shield or kill him, without thinking twice about that he was stronger than her, and that unless she entered the world of dreams in the flesh because of the ter'angreal she was using she couldn't channel strong enough to scratch the man.
"What about the reds, Rand?" That was Min, she glanced at Elayne and a thought came to her. You can do nothing about it now, and I doubt if those women will listen to reason. Elayne laughed in spite of herself. Min described the Aes Sedai perfectly.
Rand smiled at that exchange of thoughts and answered Min's questions, save the grin he seemed to ignore what she thought.
"The reds study the taint. Not the loveliest thing to do; they try to prevent another breaking. Though like the rest of the asha'man they use other method. You will not notice much of them here, almost all of them are in the white tower now." Elayne tripped on flat ground and would have fallen if Rand hasn't catched her arm, stunned shock was the only thing that reached to her through the bracelet, two sets of emotions that duplicated each other, and third one from which no emotion reached her.
Rand rose his hand the brand heron on his palm showing, forestalling all the questions they were about to ask, and changed. A woman stood in front with blue eyes and golden hair, she look like her, yet… she wasn't able to pin down how this woman was different, only that it was a reflection of her, and the reflection looked much more beautiful than she. Startling even more was a sense of kinship for the woman, the same as she felt for Aviendha, the sense of a woman that can channel.
Rand returned to his own appearance, which was much better than the illusion.
"No one in the tower will recognize them." Rand said coldly, the lack of emotion fade slowly from the place that Rand's emotions were.
"We need ter'angreals, Min. And knowledge, they both exist inside the white tower." This time his voice warmer.
A figure started glowing about a hundred feet from them, the glow of a woman touching saidar she and Aviendha exchanged looks, as far as they knew Nynaeve was the only woman that could channel in the black tower. She wasn't so sure about to how to think to the other yet she formed the thought and directed it to the little knots of emotions in the back of her head. A little like what she was doing if she was wearing an a'dam bracelet and tried to make the woman with the collar feel something. Wait here a moment, I'm going to check this. Aviendha and Min stayed where they were, but Rand's hand suddenly lied on her shoulder. Stopping her short before she managed to step more than two steps.
"I've told you I will not let you die, woman. Do you think that you would have survived that long in here without being on my side. " he growled at her angrily.

Both thing were true she supposed, he told them that the only thing that he would not do if they asked was to watch them die, which came right after he told them why he had no intentions to marry them. She had to admit that his reasons were good, the forsakens, the black ajah, Padan Fain and the Dark One would not rest if they knew that there was some way to hurt Rand, and killing his wife or turning her to the shadow would be a good way to do so. And as for her surviving without him, see thought that this was true too, she saw few of those men looking at her, cold eyes like hawks at a mouse. "If Nynaeve is safe here so do I." She told him in her best regal voice, which did no impression on him. Love is more addictive than the one power, and more dangerous than surrendering to saidin. Always remember that, Elayne, always. he thought to her. The only emotions that reached her from him were anger and fear, both for her she was sure. Aviendha and Min were a few paces away talking to each other urgently. "What do you mean, Rand?" she asked loudly. She really didn't like others' thoughts in her head, even if they were of Rand and Min and Aviendha. She meant that for the quote he thought to her, yet he decided to misunderstand the question.

"Fifty Aes Sedai attacked the black tower a week ago, with thousand soldiers. I've lost fifteen asha'man in this, only three of them were soldiers and one dedicated. Eleven trained asha'man died there, men worth ten times their weight in gold. Anybody in here know that you are Aes Sedai, and those aren't welcome here. You would be lucky if you managed to open a gateway and run in time. If not… you might be stilled or dead! Do you understand that! Do you! I will not have you killed for being too proud! " He spoke quietly and urgently, every word with enough power behind it to make Suian obey to him without hesitations. She opened her mouth to tell him what she thought about that last remark of him. He wore pride like a cloak and arrogance was a term too little to describe the way he acted. Then a familiar face looked at her. A man with black long hair and broad shoulders, scorn in his eyes that never touched the face, Logain. He disappeared after a moment in the crowd, before she could regain enough breath to speak.

[Originally posted as Barid Bel Medar, with the aid of Lanfir @ 20 December 1999 {my birthday} ]

Part one deals with Lews Therin, Lanfear and Ilyena, the second with the War of Power itself. Unlike I expected, it was much easier to write the first part than the second. Usually, I have a fix starting point, and all the freedom I want to make the end. In this story, I had all the freedom in the start and the middle, only the end I couldn't change. And this I don't like. I asked many time why everything in the Wheel of Time seemed to go well (for the main characters, at least). Now I know why RJ didn't make tragedies so far, They are too painful to write. I love this characters, and I haven't sweated on making them live just so I could kill them. I hate the way this story end, and I mean really hate it. But when I let you choose the stories I also promised that I would write them. So here it is. For your pleasure. I hope you will enjoy it.

As a note: This is the largest story I ever wrote, save my PoD prologue. And I suspect that it can be considered as the best. Or at least I hope so.

Thanks to Lanfir (no, it is not a typo, that is how she named herself.) for writing Lanfear's part. Female point of views are the hardest for me to do. And her stories were a great help understanding Lanfear. And more than help enough in writing the second part of the story. And of course, I entered the stories she wrote into the story. I truly hope you will enjoy her work, and mine.

Please read this before you will read the story. This is important to the understanding of the story.

Timing:

Lews Therin and Lanfear were lover when they were young, "but he could remember that woman [Lanfear] in his arms, while they were still young and learning what they could do with the power." (The Fires of Heavens, Gateways.) I assumed that both Lanfear and Lews Therin found that they can channel between 10-25. If we'll assume that the training take ten years. The same as in the White Tower. Since I think that in the Age of Legends they taught much faster and better. And that both Lews Therin and Lanfear were good at what they were doing. (Since it usually take ten years to a girl to reach the Shawl. But Elayne could reach the shawl in a year, since she was so strong.) Both Lanfear and Lews Therin are stronger than Elayne by far, they would have study fast. But since they had to learn so much more... I assume it's ten years. From this we can safely assume that they were lovers when they were 20-30. The Guide say that they were lovers for "some years" (The Guide, The Female Forsakens and the darkfriends, Lanfear.) Since people live much longer in the Age of Legends I would have said that it's about 100-200 years. The Guide also state that Lews Therin married Ilyena fifty years before the War of Power. And in the Eye of the World's prologue we see that Lews Therin is in his middle age. For Aes Sedai at his strength, that mean something between 450-550 years. This mean that he spent close to 150 years before marring Ilyena after he left Lanfear. Let assume that he met her 20 years before marrying her. That was what I based about the timing when I wrote the story. I know it's long. But consider that normally, Aes Sedai could live up to 600-700 years. And the strongest they were, the longest they lived. Lews Therin was the strongest man ever save Ishmael who was in the same strength.

Characters: [Most of what is written here came from the Guide. The rest taken from the books.]

Lews Therin: he was a politician, held many offices with great success and wrote many good books.
Barid Bel Medar: Demandred's true name. Always followed Lews Therin, always a step behind. He never bested Lews Therin in anything. And was always angry about it.
Mierin Eronaile: Lanfear's true name. She was a researcher in the Sharom, she was the one who found out how to open the bore in the Dark One's prison.
Duram Laddel Cham: Bel'al's true name. Some kind of a lawyer.
Tel Janin Aellinsar: Sammael's true name. A sportsman.
Elan Morin Tedronai: Ishmael's true name. Great philosopher.
Ared Mosinel: Rahvin's true name. He was a pretty man and did nothing worth mentioning.
Lillen Moiral: Moghedien's true name. She was an investment advisor.
Saine Tarasind: Mesaana's true name. She was a teacher, more than reason enough to hate her.
Nemene Damendar Boann: Semirhage's true name. The best healer of the body.
Kamarile Maradim Nindar: Graendal's true name. The best healer of the mind.
Joar Addam Nessosin: Asmodean's true name. He was a good musician.
Eval Ramman: Balthamel's true name. A historian and a lecher. He was better in the latter.
Ishar Morrad Chuain: Aginor's true name. He was a biologist that couldn't live with the limits that he had to work under.
Latra Posae Decume: Lews Therin's rival in the Hall. Responsible to the lack of female in the attack on the bore. She was the one who came up with the great sa'angreals idea. And didn't approved Lews Therin's plan because she thought it was too dangerous.

Mierin sometimes saw him in the hallways when she went to class for study, in the Great Library or in the Dining Hall. And every time she felt that her heart missed a beating. What it was about him, she did not know, but she terribly attracted to him. He seemed a few years older than she was — she just reached twenty a few weeks ago — and was very tall and had those intense dark eyes that somehow made her melt inside. He was just wonderful! Sometimes, when she laid in bed, exhausted after a day of intense study of the One Power, she thought about how it would be to kiss and hold him and to… to share her bed with him.

His name was Lews Therin, she found out soon after she laid her eye on him, and he was one of the best students the school had had in many years. He was believed to be one of the strongest male channelers ever, maybe even equal to the great philosopher Elan Morin himself. When Mierin noticed that, she got her eye even more fixed on him. There was more than one reason to be interested in him.

He was usually in the company of another man in his age, quite short of handsome. The other man was named Barid Bel. He was quite interesting too, he was just below Lews Therin in everything. But Lews Therin was her first choice. He made her feel like a foolish girl when their eyes met. It happened to many times to be coincidence, and he always had that smile on his face when he looked at her. She was used to be looked at, she knew she was pretty, even beautiful, but the way Lews Therin looked at her made her feel weak inside. She thought she was close to fainting when he greeted her once, when they passed each other in a hallway. A red color burnt at her cheeks, and she had difficulties this time with smiling at him in the way that had the most disastrous impact on men. She never had that before, it was the other way around, always!

She had never been shy before, but somehow she just did not dare to speak with him. She had several boyfriends of course, before she found out she could channel, and at the University she had even more boyfriends, and she was always wanted. But somehow, she seemed afraid to be denied by this Lews Therin, he was so perfect. She couldn't survive a denial from him.

"You are really in love with Lews Therin, aren't you?" Lillen teased her often. She shared her room with Lillen Moiral for quite a while now, and although she did not really like the girl, and she supposed it was also the other way around, they often exchanged secrets in the dark, when they were supposed to sleep. "And you do not even know the guy! I mean, you never really talked…"

At that point, Mierin got always angry at herself. Why did she behave like an fool for him! She was a adult now, there was no need to act childish or even girlish anymore! Even as a girl she wasn't that foolish, certainly not because of any man. But him...

Yet, nothing happened for a few months, until Mierin had her exams, and graduated. Graduated with extremely high scores, to be honest. She was more than proud of it, because now she could pass on to other classes - the highest. No single female under twenty-five had ever managed that, and only five male ever did it. Elan Morin Tedronai, Barid Bel, Ishar Morrad, Tel Janin, and Lews Therin, of course. Her teachers called her extremely talented with the One Power, she was supposed to be the strongest female Aes Sedai ever. They all admired her somehow, but she was kind of used to be admired. She was admired since she was the age of five. But most of the time people admired her body, not her power. She was flattered by that. She could have never describe her feeling in the moment of graduation.

At her graduation ceremony, a handsome man suddenly appeared out of the crowd where people congratulated and hugged each other. It turned out to be Barid Bel, the eternal company of Lews Therin, this was only the third time she didn't saw him without Lews Therin. "Yes," he said admirably. "you must be Mierin Eronaile. No other woman fit this description. Congratulations with your passing." She actually blushed. And smiled at him in her sweetest way, and saw contently the disastrous effect on his face when she thanked him. She was used to it, but it amused her every time when a man was out of balance because she merely smiled at her. Barid Bel recovered quickly, and they chatted for a while, nothing important. "Would you like to join our study group? Only the best are allowed to join us, and your score is among the highest ever." The question had surprised her totally. She hadn't expected that, The Study Group was famous in the lower classes, and the higher. She always dreamed to join them, but always thought herself unworthy, she was good, but was she that good?

"I'd be honored. Who are in?" She said, already knowing the answer. Every one knew it. For every other study group you had to ask. But Lews Therin's study group was the Study Group. For those who were truly the best.

"Well, me, Lews Therin… do you know him?" She nodded, and he went on, "Duram Laddel, Tel Janin, Kamarile Maradim, Nemene Damendar, Joar Addam … we are studying hard and intense, but it can be real fun. So, are you in?"

"Of course I am. What are you studying at the moment?" She asked, it didn't matter, had they could have study anything, as far as she was concerned. The chance to meet Lews Therin daily... And it would be more than honorable to join The Study Group.

"Milking of Tears. Lews Therin and I are working on a real good essay. Tel Janin and Nemene Damendar are studying on something that has to do with Healing and muscles… I don't really know exactly what they are planning to find out, but I am certain it is interesting. They have had certainly enough rows and discussions about it already…" Barid Bel smiled faintly, and he looked really handsome smiling, the smile made up for the lack of beauty in his face. Had her attention wasn't already focused on Lews Therin, she might have chosen him. "But anyway, we will be in the Great Library tomorrow night. I'd like it to see you there."

"I'll be there," she promised. "I promise I will." She was surprised the feeling of giggling that bubbled inside her stomach and smiled back at him. "I am already looking forward on it."

As soon as she was alone in her room, she danced it around excitedly, singing and jumping in delight, until Lillen appeared in the room and asked that she was doing for Light's sake. Mierin told it to her, laughing and still dancing with excitement, and Lillen congratulated her, and told her just as excited that she passed her exams too, and that she was allowed to be in the classes Mierin had just left. And because she was three years younger, it was quite a good thing. Mierin was one of the brightest and fastest students, and she had finished those classes in two and a half years. She knew she was stronger in using the One Power than Lillen, so she was very happy for her. They talked the whole night about the things Mierin had learned in the classes she had left, about the wielding of Spirit and about tel'aran'rhiod. Lillen was very curious about it, she just could not wait to enter the Unseen World.

The talking about tel'aran'rhiod gave Mierin an idea; that night she entered Tel'aran'rhiod and looked for Lews Therin's dreams. It took a while before she found it and managed to have a look on it, he had shielded his Dream, although it was not a very strong shield. Only enough to warn people that he don't want others to watch at his dreams. But she ignored it, curiosity overcame her. She spied on his dreams, who were quite blurred and confusing, but found to her surprise that she herself was part of many of them. There was even a dream of she and Lews Therin kissing each other, though he dreamed of kissing another girl too. Kamarile Maradim, to be more precisely. A sudden change in the dream told her that he was aware of what she was doing. And she fled before he could recognize her. Pain and fury burned inside her, she was jealous. Light, being jealous already. He is not even mine yet. But I will… I will make him mine!

There was a determined look on her face when she woke that night. And she barely passed the day without any events. As night fell, she was already in the Great Library for three hours. Ready to join the Study Group.

Within three months, she managed to gain both his respect and eyes. She succeed in making him lose interest in that Kamarile quite quickly. She even got him so far that he left the study about Milking of Tears to Barid Bel, and instead studied with her on Compulsion! Honestly, she had very much impact on him. She made him write an essay on Compulsion and forced him to get his name on it, instead of her, as he suggested. When he protested it was just a work on science and that it did not needed his name on it, she pushed through that it would bring honor on him. She smiled at him, no men could ever resist that, "You'll gain a lot of honor on this school when you publish this, Lews Therin. Don't you want to be honored?"

He did it. He did what she wanted, and gained indeed even more honor than he had before. At that moment, she was sure about it. He liked her, and possibly more than that. Now he was ready for the period of seducing… a period that did not take longer than a few days. He didn't seemed to resist her wishes.

When she woke up on a sunny morning lying in his arms, triumph flooded through her veins and she wanted to scream in pleasure. His arms around her were soft, yet strong, and his smell was all around her. She looked at him, so beautiful in face and in body, and was filled with an other feeling; tenderness and love. Light, she thought amazed. I really love him!

She touched his face softly and murmured to herself: "You are perfect, Lews Therin. Perfect." He was sweet, intelligent and skilled in everything, from channeling to making love… He indeed was a very good lover, she thought with a faint smile. She made it. She actually did it. She could hardly believe it. She laughed in herself, very pleased with herself and the world. Her laugh waked him up. He opened his eyes and looked at her, and his tender, dark brown eyes were softer than she ever seen before... "Good morning, Mierin." he said in that warm, rich voice of him.

"Good morning for you too, Lews Therin," she said with still that faint smile. How she was fond of him!

"You're always more beautiful when you are smiling at me like that," he said and kissed her. The kiss was tender in the beginning, but as it took longer, it became more and more passionate, until they forgot all about the rest of the world and managed to get too late for their classes that day. When they noticed that a while later, a long while later, they decided to skip them entirely and spend the whole day in Lews Therin's quarters. The sunlight fell through the window, shattered in pieces of white, pure light. Dancing all over the room. So beautiful, so peaceful. Mierin had never been so happy and full of love before. He is mine, she thought several times that day. He is finally mine. And he will be mine forever.

The man stood erect, the sword in his hand blazed as he drove away his opponent's sword. Saidin pulsed in him, empty off emotion he float insidek'doi, the oneness, only saidin filled him, but it was enough. More than enough. He draw almost as much as he could from the power, his skin tingle, and his bones seemed to be on the point of breaking. But the sword he channeled was held steadily in his hand, shining in blue fire, leaving trail of light in the air as it moved. The red blood sword followed his moves, as fast as he was and faster. No blade touch flesh, but every move was followed by the clash of swords, and blue and red lightning appeared each time the swords touched. The parting of silk met the charging bear, and he attack low, but the other man met his attack with a speed that was more than any human can hope for. He doubled his speed, and doubled it again, and still the other man stood in it easily. He grinned to himself, though emotions was more than distance when he held saidin. His foe attacked, the rose falling, simple attack, easy to defend against. But he didn't defend himself, instead his sword darted forward, all his strength and speed behind it, it sank into the man's chest, where his heart was. It cost him, of course, the red sword slashed across his face, and the trail passed through one eye. He moved back and released saidin, the battle was over.

"A good fight." He said.

The other man simply snorted; his hand touching his chest, where a blue circle began to fade. Lews Therin himself saw through red blood screen, but he had won, and it felt good. The swords were weaves of saidin, fire and air, they could pass through anything, save another sword made by saidin. It was much better that the wooden swords the books said were once in use as a training sword. Now, even those who couldn't channel could use ter'angreal if they wanted to learn how to use a sword.

"In a real battle, Lews Therin," Duram Laddel said, "you would have been dead. I cut open your head."

"There was no real battle for more than seven thousands years, Duram Laddel." He signed, sometimes he though that the man actually wanted to return to those days. Only the books left from that violent age, and only a madman would want to live in that time. If the books were to believe, human fought against Aes Sedai for the entire age. They were not really Aes Sedai, but men and women channeling, whatever the name they called themselves, weren't suppose to enslave the rest of the human race. At the end, after all but constant war that lasted more than two thousands years, they reached an agreement, and the Aes Sedai were established.

It was ironic, actually. The titled itself was honored, he was pride that he was called Lews Therin Telamon Aes Sedai. But the books said that another war almost started for the name alone. What was wrong with Servants for All? He wondered, everybody was a servant, in one way or another. And it was honor to serve, the more you could serve the more honored you were. Maybe it wasn't so in the age before this. No book mention it, so few survived the turning of the Wheel. And seven thousands years was a long time.

"Sometimes I wish..." Duram Laddel's voice faded as he shoke his thoughts off, "Don't you ever wish to live where you can do something interesting for a change?"

Lews Therin blinked at him, "I have my studies, and my duties, isn't this enough? What more can I wish for?"

"Bah," The man sighed, "it's useless to talk with you about it, you know. You're too well tamed."

Lews Therin throw back his head and laughed at that, "Have you talked with Mierin lately, Duram Laddel?" He asked, he could laughed at it, now, "You sound much like her."

He left her more than one hundred and eighty years ago, but it took more than a century until he finally finished regretting about it. Mierinwas the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, or would see. But from the start he had wondered why she had chosen him, he knew himself good enough to know that he was no more than handsome. She was far more than that. He would have expected her to choose Ared Mosinel, they would be a fine couple. Both were far more beautiful than any human being deserved to be. He had heard several woman complaining about it, Ared Mosinel could make a seven hundred years old Aes Sedai to behave like a girl after her first kiss, and the light know that Mierin did it to him long enough. He wasn't seven hundreds years old, of course, he was barely twenty five when he first knew her, and fifty seven when he left her. After more than ten years of doubts. She always wanted him to be more ambitious, and more than once he suspected her wanting him only to reach a higher power. From the start he was marked as special. His strength in the power was equal by Elan Morin alone. He liked the man, though philosophy wasn't really something he was ever interested in. And he had a variety of talents to amaze his oldest teacher. To rose envy in more than one man, or woman.

The grimace at the thought was so fierce that Duram Laddel took a step back, "You were the one who left her, Lews Therin. And she would have you the instant you would want her. So I talked to her, what is the story? I thought you weren't interested in her anymore. Beside, it was more than one hundred years ago. Even in the way we count time it was long time ago."

"Never mind, Duram Laddel, it wasn't you I was angry about. Come, it's time for dinner." He said, he had done nothing to arose this envy, one could only live with what he was born with, and he was born to be one of the two strongest men in the entire world. And he had talents in almost every known field, from Cloud Dancing to Earth Singing, and from Healing to Compulsation. He had done nothing to gain those talents, he was born with them, why people could never understand this.

"For you, Lews Therin." Duram Laddel said, flows of air took his coat from outside the arena, it was empty now, of course. But anyone who wanted could come here to train himself before the games would started. "For me it's not even time for breakfast." He touched saidin and opened a gateway, a line that resolved to show a dark room, full with open books and papers, all in a mess. He wondered how the other man could find something there when he needed it, it must take him hours each time.

Lews Therin nodded, and open a gateway to his own quarters, his rooms was well lighted, and although he enjoyed reading, there was only a single book open on the desk. And the room was clean and neat. He smile fondly at the room, it wasn't his work, he could have never make the room look so neat. His mother used to say that he created a mess in his rooms even while he slept. He thought he liked it that way, until Saron Faren's grand father was assigned to him, given to him more exactly. The da'shain had simply took over his life entirely, sometimes it was more than irritating, but most of the time he couldn't imagine his life without the da'shain. He sat on a chair and channeled air to pour him some wine, he needed no more thought for this than he needed for breathing. For the like of him, saidin was used to do anything. He leaned back on the chair, putting his feet on the table the goblet of wine floating near his head, held by invisible hand. The book moved at him, but he didn't read it. Instead he let his thoughts wonder. Envy, that was his biggest problem. He never asked to be the strongest Aes Sedai ever to be known to this world. He had never asked to have all those talents. He could do nothing about having them, why people didn't understand it? He was also a ta'veren the strongest to be ever recorded. Everything should have going to his favor. Being a ta'veren was supposed to be a good thing.

"Women are supposed to faint whenever they see me," He muttered darkly, "people who opposed me are supposed to support me." that was what the records said, there was nota single ta'veren in more than millennium. "All I ever get is people hating me for what I am." He hated it, hated what he became to be, and hated more that he had no chance of breaking free of this.

"A honored member of the hall of servants." He snored, "I would have rather spend the night in Collam Daam." The city was said to be hunted, none survived a night there. "But then people would say I've done that only to prove that I can do it." Everything he did would bring those comment. "Nothing that I'll do will ever make them believe I want none of it." He stared darkly at the room. How much he had hated it. He would exchange it all, all the honor, with the simple life he could have. Even the third name he bore was bitter, he brought only more jealously. Barid Bel, reached his third name, Medar, only three weeks after he did, but as always, he wasn't satisfied with this. He thought that he and Barid Bel were friends, of sort, they were at the same age and liked much the same things. "But every bloody thing I do turn out to be better than he does." At first he enjoyed it, but even he thought it reached too far. The Wheel weaves as the wheel will. How many times he had been told that, and its weaving must be accepted. The next who would tell him that was about to have unpleasant surprise.

Barid Bel and he had shared the same interests, and although they didn't always agreed about certain things, they were friends for a long time. Almost since the first time they met each other, more than three hundreds and fifty years in the past. At first they competed each other because it was fun. But as time passed both of them understood that whatever he would do, Barid Bel would never match him. Lews Therin released saidin, catching the cup in mid air, he didn't want to have his emotions blocked away now. Barid Bel was the one who was first interested in taking a position in the Hall of Servants, and he had joined only to make him happy. He was much happier to take another path, a quiet place in the Sharom, before it was destroyed, and time to study the different aspects of the One Power was all he ever wanted. As for now, he had all but abandoned his studies entirely. Even that training battle with Duran Laddel was a stolen moment of pleasure, Duram Laddel might be envious of him, but at least he hid it well. He was glad that Barid Bel had never showed any interested in sword play. At least in this he wouldn't have to best the other man.

He placed the goblet of whine on the table and opened the book, "A study about powers in human and the other races, by Barid Bel Medar." He surrounded himself in k'doi but refused to let himself touch saidin, the power called him, sang to him, tempted him, but he ignored it. Or at least pushed it a little away from himself, one cannot simply ignore the One Power's call. With saidin he felt ten times as alive as without it, hundred times as much, or more. It help him forget his troubles, sometimes, fighting himself not to hold saidin. This time, as it almost always did, it worked. And he could concentrate in the book, it was a fascinating one, as usual with Barid Bel's work. Not at all the style he would, or could, write. His books were much more simpler than Barid Bel's ones. And although they had usually wrote more or less about the same subjects, his books always achieved better critical and higher popularity than Barid Bel's. Always. Even when he thought that Barid Bel's books were better than his. Saying it helped nothing. Barid Bel only saw it as false modesty. And it only made things worse. It didn't take long before he could let himself release k'doi, the book was fascinating. As most of Barid Bel's books were. He grabbed saidin again, and a pen began to scribed notes on a paper that Saron Faren had placed for this purpose exactly. He, his father and his grandfather knew him better than he knew himself.

The only warning he had was the tingling in his skin. He let the pen fall, and embrace as much of saidin as he could draw, jumping out of the chair, he prepared to use the power to defend himself, or to attack. The woman that stepped through the gateway looked surprised, her eyes were wide. But she had never had to face Mierin while the woman was angry. Mierin could never control herself when she was angry, and she was far more than angry about him ever since he left her. She had actually tried to kill him that day. And it had came to a fight between them, something new students sometimes did. She was supposed to be the strongest female ever. As he was the strongest male ever, save Elan Morin, who was equal to him, but there was one fact as hard as the One Power itself. Men, when it came to relative strengths, was far stronger than women. And although it took him more time than he expected it would he had her shielded at the end. It took him nine hours before he was finally convinced that she won't try to kill him again as soon as he would release the shield from her. Nine hours of channeling, with every drop of the power he could draw. He was close to severing himself, or killing himself when she finally stopped trying to break the shield. And she tried it once more, a week later. With the same results. From that point he was constantly aware of female channeling. He had a fair idea how Mierin's mind worked, you couldn't live with someone for more than twenty years without knowing how that someone thought. And he hadn't thought he would enjoy her catching him, even while he was stronger than her. If she would take the weakest angreal she could overcome him. That was one reason he never moved without an angreal of his own. A strong one, he sometimes had nightmares about what she might do. And it was another reason to shield his dreams, he knew as much as she knew about tel'aran'rhiod but there was no point at taking risks. The last time he saw her, five years ago, she seemed to be calm again. At least she didn't tried to rip his throat open with her fingernails. But she made it extremely clear that she meant to have him again. Sometimes he wondered if the woman was insane.

But it wasn't dark and beautiful Mierin who stand in front of him, the woman was different from Mierin in every aspect, save her height and beauty. She was as beautiful as Mierin. He thought he knew her, an Aes Sedai he sometimes saw in the meeting of the hall. "Ilyena Moerelle Dalisar," he said, she was a member of the hall, but not one to remember, she did her duties well and quickly, but that was to be expected, from an Aes Sedai in the hall. He remembered fondly the days where he looked in awe at the members of the hall, now he only felt scorn at them, himself included. Ilyena was simply one of the many members of the hall, he was surprised to find that he envied her, she had nothing to be envied about. And that was the reason he envied her. "why have you come here, if I may ask?" They were in his rooms, but he had always kept on his manners.

He released saidin slowly, he always hated let go of the feeling of life. At the same time the tingling disappeared from his skin. He let his eyes wonder on the woman standing in front of him, she had a waist long hair, in the color of the sun. And clear blue eyes that seem to read his soul. A mouth that was now a tight line, but he distantly remembered that she usually wore a smile on her face. She had a small nose, and a high cheek bones, she was more than beautiful, though this usually had no affect on him. After rejecting Mierin, beauty wasn't really high in his list of qualities he searched in a woman. She wore a green tight dress, and her streith was cool blue.

"Tomorrow they are going to ask you to be the First of Servants, Lews Therin." It was no explanation, but it sent all thoughts about Mierin and women out of his head.

"Are you sure?" He asked with a groan, this was the last thing he needed! There was no refusing to such offer. But he would have given his right hand to avoid it.

She blinked at him, "You don't want it? Any one else would have jumped on the offer." She sounded surprised, but the water in the hall of servants was muddier than the blackness outside the pattern.

"Ilyena Moerelle Dalisar," He snorted, "I have people jealous at me that I've never met, or will ever meet. I once had a friend, Barid Bel Medar," She nodded to the name, Barid Bel was only a bit less famous than he himself was. "now he would be more than happy to walk on my grave." Barid Bel would probably also make a lovely speech, he was good at speeches. "Tel Janin Aellinsar would dance on it. Duram Laddel Cham would probably use my grave as to climb up the scale of rank." He deliberately chose the more famous one, Tel Janin Aellinsar was the world champion in sword for a long time. He had beaten him once, but the man never forgot it. Duram Laddel Cham, he hid his jealously well, but you could feel it, the man was almost hundred years older than himself, but was still lower in rank than he was. "I have more than enough people envying me as it is. I don't need to have to add more to this. Someone of them might decide to take this personally and try to kill me." He saw the shock on her. Fifty or sixty years ago no one would have thought about such thing. Now, it might come true.

"Peace is collapsing, Ilyena Moerelle." He said, "Ever since the destruction of Collam Daam our society is collapsing. I have dedicated as much time as I can to study this, but have found no reason for this." As much time as he could, practically nothing, not the tenth he should have dedicated, but he had other duties too. "Elan Morin Tedronai is working about it ever since the Sharom collapsed, but he said he had no answer yet." Her streith began to darken. And he quickly wove air to drag a chair for her. She looked at him gratefully and sank back.

The streith return to the cool blue slowly. "You still have no other choice, you know it, Lews Therin." She said, "No one can refuse to be -"

He cut her off with sharp motion of his hand, he thought that if he would seat down the strain in his muscles would tear him apart. "I don't care what can be done, I will not be the First of Servants! Who suggested it anyway? I never did anything to hint that I want ed this position." He realize he was quivering with rage. Some people would think that he did want this. And they would hate him more for this. He never asked for this, never wanted this. Ilyena stood in a flash, her eyes blazing like the sword in his before. Her streith become the blood red of fury.

"You dare to shout at me, Lews Therin!" It wasn't a question, she reminded him a she wolf he once saw. Her fangs bare, ready to attack, but he wasn't the rabbit that the she-wolf was after. And here his strength in the power wouldn't help him. Strength wasn't something that was supposed to taken into consideration in the hall. And it was never considered much among the male Aes Sedai. Mainly because they had no fast way to measure that. Among females the situation was different, there strength did play its part. But when it came to female and male Aes Sedai, the female always seem to think that they could more than match the man. Ilyena wasn't different then most of other female Aes Sedai. And she wasn't even as strong as Mierin was. For some reason it disappointed him that she wasn't different. "Are you mad?" This was a question. But certainly not one he expected.

"What?!" He asked, he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"It was a simple question, Lews Therin. Are you mad?" She said, the streith was now purple, between the blue of calm and the red of fury. "You refuse to take a position every one else would have leap on." She rose one finger, "You insulted more than one member of the hall," she rises another finger, "including me." He was amused to see that she hadn't rose anymore fingers to that. Modesty, even if it was a fake one, wasn't something he usually run into. "You're Aes Sedai for long time," He was Aes Sedai since he was forty, and that was long time ago. "and you turn down every offer to join an ajah or create one. And there were hundreds, if not thousands of such offers."

"Three thousands seven hundred and sixty four." He murmured softly, she rose an eyebrow, obviously surprised, "It give me something to do when I'm bored." And it was nice to know that so many people wanted him, every man had to have something to be pride it. And the things he did, the books he wrote and and offices he performed, all the things that gave him the publicity meant nothing to him. He could have done very well without them.

"You turned down three thousands seven hundred and sixty fouroffers?" She sounded as if she didn't believe him, no wonder, considering that at best, one might be be asked five or six hundreds times to join ajahs in a lifetime. "And you don't want to be the First of the Servants, and you don't keep your manners with you. Why, one may begin to wonder that you're not interested in power. Or perhaps you have others plans?"

"I've no interest in power, Ilynea." He said, he took a chair and motion her to sit again, she sat calmly, arranging her skirts around her carefully. Not for the first time he wonder why women bother to wear the streith, it reveal too much of what they felt. Green did fit her well, he noticed, then chased the thought out of his head. "You should have understand it already."

"Then why you came here in the first place?" She asked, "Why you don't leave?"

He laughed softly at that, "You can't leave this place, not after the first touch of real power. It's more addictive than the One Power, haven't you ever felt it? Oh, you might convince yourself that this is responsibility that make you stay and duty. But you can't really leave the power after you tasted it." She shift her position slightly, and the streith began to darken again, fear, and confusion. "And the first time I came here was for Mierin," Even before he was famous she found him, maybe she knew even then what would happen, all she had to do was to direct him a little. And once you enter this world you couldn't escape it. "for Mierin and Barid Bel." He saw her head move, startled, golden hair flowing like golden cascade. "You didn't knew that, didn't you?" She didn't like him knowing she didn't know it. But then again, even without the sudden movement, the streith was pure white.

"It's... unlikely to think so. Considering what he thinks of you." She said, "I didn't think that he might be the one that pulled you to politics, he seemed to be the one who would do the contrary."

Lews Therin sighed, "Ilyena, you should have made your homework. He didn't always hate me, we were friends, long ago." Good friends, and he still liked the man, but his success had poisoned their friendship.

"I... see." He didn't thought she saw, but it didn't matter. "You still haven't answered my questions."

"About turning down power? I had, I don't want it, but I can't leave this place." He pointed in a wide motion, this room, this position. As much as he hated them, he could not imagine his life without them. "But I can said that this is all I want, that I want nothing more. I should have said it long ago." Meririn had pushed him to where he was now. And he stick to his place with fingernails, had he wanted, he could have been long ago the First of the Servants. And she knew it.

"I think you're mad, Lews Therin." But her voice was light, and he took no offence. "Or at least the strangest man I've ever seen." She smile at that and stood, "But I must go now, I'll see you in the Hall." His skin tingled as she channeled, and a gateway began to resolve.

He caught her arm, "Why have you came here, Ilyena? Not just to tell me that they mean to offer me to be the First." The hall was considering who would be the next First for so long that he nearly forgot about it.

"To see you," she said, one hand patting on his cheek, "I wanted to see who would be the next First of Servants." With that, she smiled, and the smile changed her entirely. She was beautiful, but smiling, she was far more beautiful than any other woman he had ever seen, including Mierin. The smile seem to make her glow. He noted the view seen from the gateway, a room as clean as his, but in a mess as much as Duram Laddel's was. The gateway closed behind her, and left an empty feeling. Somehow, her leaving made the room look darker.

"Would be the next First?" He whispered to the air, "I think you're about to have a surprise, Ilyena Moerelle Dalisar. A big surprise." Saidin filled him, and the goblet of wine rose from the table, he forgot to offer her to drink something. Never mind, she didn't stay long enough to feel thirst. And she would have pour her a drink by her own, if so. But even as Ilyena filled his mind one cold decision remained intact in him. He would not be the First of Servants, and the Hall can burn for it.

Ilyena sat in front of the mirror, giving her hair the final touch, she knew she always looked beautiful in blue. And for that man, fo that cause, she took the trouble. She wasn't sure that it could even help with him. A man that could reject Mierin... She was pretty enough herself, no more, but Mierin was more than beautiful.

The gasp behind her was the first sign of him, he stare at her, deep brown wide eyes moving on her body, she felt it almost like a touch. "Light of heaven, Ilyena" Lews Therin murmured in admiration, "you're beautiful." He was very tall, taller than most man by a head or more. He wore light coat and breach in deep scarlet, and he moved like he was about to dance in every move.

She smile at him, "Thank you." It was nice of him to say it, usually men, especially if they were Aes Sedai, kept their emotion under tight control. She rose from the chair and lie the brush on the table. She wore a long blue dress that exposed her shoulders, and her hair was flood of gold. She knew that the contrast between the dress and her hair was stunning.

He gave her a hand to help her rise, she took it, but had to fight with herself not to giggle like a fifteen years old girl. she was more than fifteen time this age. For some reason men never seem to think that such behavior was noble. But it was one thing she didn't mean to tell him, for herself, she thought it sweet.

She led him to the garden, she kept it in endless spring, and it was her favorite place. He followed two steps behind her, his gaze left her to stare at her quarters, she didn't knew what there was there to see. She kept it clean, but no more. She never seemed to have the time to put everything in place. And she had never asked for a da'shain. For some reason she didn't felt comfortable with the idea of someone serving her. At some point he stopped suddenly, she half turned her head, looking at him. He stared at a sha'rah board, she was once quite skilled at the game, little short of a master, but she hadn't touched the board for more than a year and a half. Duty took to much of her time. As it was with every other member of the Hall.

"Barid Bel had been chosen to be the First of the Servants." She said, then bit her lip. She didn't mean to mention it until much later. "And you were the first to refuse that title in history."

He took his eyes off the sha'rah board and looked at her, deep brown eyes that seem to laugh at something. At himself, she thought. "I'm always the first, Ilyena." He said, for some reason his voice was bitter, and there wasn't a shred of pride in him, "No matter what I do, I'm always the first." She thought that he shook his head slightly, but she couldn't be sure. "Do you play?"

"Sha'rah? I didn't know you are playing it." Nothing that she heard indicate it, at least, and she studied everything she could on him, she had to.

"I'm not very good at this, I fear," Lews Therin said, "but it's certainly an interesting game. You on the other hand, are considered as a master in it. Or at least were considered, for some reason you stopped playing. Shortly after joining Latra Posae's ajah. Does she take too much of your time?" Now she was glad she didn't wore a streith, she kept her face blank. But the streith would have become utter black to his words. How did he know? She wondered, It was supposed to be a secret.

That was the reason she was chosen to approach him, she was all but anonymous, one of the many members of the Hall. She hadn't done anything to make people notice her. He sat down and began to arrange the red pieces. She took the opposite side and channeled to arrange her green pieces. She didn't understand this. Why he was doing it? If he thought her a master, while he was merely a beginner. He could win nothing that way.

"How did you found out?" She asked, she was proud in her voice, her surprised was well hidden.

"People talk, and they tend to remember you." He suddenly send her a twisted smile, "After last night, they was more than happy to talk to me."

She could have believe it, no one ever turned down an offer to be the First of Servants. It wasn't even exactly an offer, more a command. "Why you did it? And why did you said that Barid Bel is the one who is fit for that office? He hates you!" Men never seemed to care if what they did ever made sense, but she didn't believe he ever did something out of impulse. Most of what she knew of him came from rumors, and the Hall's records. And his books, of course, he wrote about almost anything. And although she almost always didn't agree with him, he did wrote good books.

"He doesn't hate me," She couldn't say for her life what emotion was that filled Lews Therin's voice. "he envies me. Envies my success." He closed his eyes for a moment, he looked tired to death, "I'm too tired of people being jealous on me. Now he has what he always wanted. To be above me, to have more glory that I had." Irony was heavy in his voice.

"It doesn't bother you?" She didn't wait for his nod to continue, "It wouldn't work, you know. People are not talking now about Barid Bel being the new First."

Lews Therin nodded, "They talk about great Lews Therin, sonobly stepping down to clear the way to a man that hate shim. Anything I do bring this result. I stopped hoping it will ever end." They finished arranging their tools. Lews Therin made the first move. A beginner step indeed, one that could be easily countered. She didn't mean to let herself lose, she hadn't lost in this game for more than hundred years.

"You are a ta'veren you know. You can't escape it." She move a stone, she could end the game in ten moves, and she would. Had he thought that just because he was so successful in so many area he could match her? A little humiliation wouldn't hurt him.

"Then the Wheel choose me to humiliate Barid Bel? Isn't it a noble goal, one that would be remembered forever in stories and songs?" She had to laugh at this, and his eyes lighten in amusement, imitating hers.

They each moved a tool before he talked again, he was a beginner, his style would lead to defeat even faster than she thought. "Do you envy me?" He asked it in a normal tone, as if there was nothing unusual in the question.

"What?!" She must have heard it wrong.

"It was simple enough question, Ilyena." He said, answering her with her own words, the words she used when he was at the same state of surprise she was now. There was questions that you simply didn't ask, she broke that. But never expected him to do so. "Do you envy me? Light know that there are enough people who envy me, do you, too?"

"I don't envy you, I don't think so, at least." It was sometimes hard to know what she really felt, and she sometimes preferred not to know what she felt. It was the same ever since Dejar Roran had died, he was at Collam Daam when the city was destroyed, few survived that disaster. And he wasn't one of them. Since that time she had sealed her feeling under a black wall. They were too painful to be felt. But she didn't think she was envying him. She didn't want to be in his place, she was happy enough where she was.

It was his turn to move again, but he lied his chin on his hand and looked at her, intent on her face. For some reason she felt like it was hot in the room. She had learned to ignore heat or cold long ago. Everyone who wanted could do this, but it didn't help her now. The heat she felt came from him. "Would it surprise you to know that I envy you?" Again, the question was asked in a flat voice, as if it was every day topic. She wondered where exactly she had lost control on the conversation.

Her eyes went wide before she could control them, "You?! In me?! Why? There is nothing in me to be jealous about me." She wasn't famous, or known, to either side. Some Aes Sedai, like Lews Therin, and Barid Bel, and Tel Janin, to count the males, or Kamarile Maradim and Nemene Damendar and Latra Posae to count the females, were famous and well known and respected. They had all received their third name long ago, by right. For deeds that were done for the good of all. Lews Therin, Latra Posae and Barid Bel, of course, specialized in politic and the high offices of the Hall of Servants. Tel Janin was one of the best sportsman the world had ever known. And Kamarile Maradim and Nemene Damendar who were both the best healers in thousand years or more. One of the mind and the second of the body.

Others, like Lillen Moiral, that not a week ago had been disciplined for breaking the ethics of her office,.or Mierin Eronaile that would be remembered forever as the one who destroyed the Sharom and Collam Daam, and Eval Ramman whose tempers had been the main reason he declined to gain the third name of honor were known and famous as well or more, but their reputation wasn't a good one, to say the least.

For herself, she stood in the middle, which was fine with her. She didn't want, or needed to feel famous.

He moved a tool, not really looking at the board, "That is the reason, you've nothing to be jealous about." Their was something in his voice, longing. For the time he was infamous? He was definitely the strangest man she had encountered. She would have laughed at his words if not for that undertone in his voice.

"You can always leave, Lews Therin." She said, she took a look on the board, what he did was something only a fool would do. In five moves she would win. "No matter the reasons that brought you to where you're. You can always leave."

He looked as if he didn't saw the trap closing on him, both in the game and in life. She had agreed to Latra Posae's plans for him, but in life, in the greater game they all played, none who were in the Hall for so long could be taken as a beginner. He has vever been involved in the intrigues in the Hall. He was simply who he was, a man that the power chased after, instead of him chasing power. "Don't you think I tried? I'm a ta'veren, Ilyena." He remind her, "I have less freedom than those tools." With that he rose to his feet.

"You're going? So soon?" She asked, the sadness in her voice was real, she didn't understood why.

"The same as you, Ilyena." He said, every sign of the tiredness in him was gone. "I've learned what I've came for." His face harden to stone. He was so pleasant before, that she could hardly believe it was the same man that stood in front of her. Eyes like cold ice burned into her, "Tell Latra Posae that I know the game she is playing. And tell her that in that game I'm going to win."

"You didn't win this one." She said, pointing at the game. He simply stare at her, and one tool changed places, without a hand touching it.

"But I did." That was all, he flashed her a smile, not a proud or arrogant one, he didn't delight on winning her. It was simply a smile. She couldn't understand why Barid Bel hated him so much. If that was how he was always. She blinked in surprised, he had already left, and she hadn't even felt it.

She was sure that she let him know nothing about the plans Latra Posae made for him, then why he was so pleased suddenly.

I've learned what I've came for, that was what he said. But all he asked her was about herself. It wasn't the plans he came for. She realized suddenly. Just as she did, he came to learn more about herself.

She stared at the board, a master game, disguised as a beginner. And she hadn't seen it until the very end. She didn't even know that he played it, certainly not that he was so skilled. "So you want play, Lews Therin?" She whispered into the empty room, this kind of game she hadn't played close to fifty years, but she thought, that for him, she might want to play that game. It had been long since she had looked at a man as a man. Maybe it was a time for a change.

Lews Therin walked through the corridors of the Hall of Servants. As always he had to stop himself from staring, the building was build to the pleasure of the watcher, and it was enough to make his heart ache from the beauty of it, and he was here for more than three hundreds years. He has seen Aes Sedai, at their first visit in the Hall, that had practically forgotten what they have came to do, instead they toured the entire building, moving from one place to another. Their eyes wide and their jaws open wide. He grinned to himself, at his first visit here, he had abandoned his mission and surrendered to the beauty of the building. Many books and songs and poems had been created about this building, but Lews Therin thought that nothing could make you feel how it was in truth. It could took your breath away from you, and it brought tears to the eyes of the watchers often.

Saidin filled him, it always did, in the Hall of Servants he wanted to be aware of anything, and the beauty of the building was only half a reason. A sweet perfume was the other reason, a woman as stubborn as she was beautiful. Or more, why she couldn't understand that he didn't want her anymore? He stopped and waited, he didn't have to wait long.

Mierin had gave a start as she saw him, black hair and eyes, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, even Ilyena wasn't as beautiful as she was. As always, she wore white and silver, she could blind a man with a smile. As always he felt that stab of regret, and had to remind himself all the reasons why he left her. Mierin was also furious, he hadn't seen her like this for a long time. She usually had a good control on her emotions.

"You!" She hissed at him, and he sighed inwardly, she have heard about him and Ilyena. He and Ilyena were... playing a game. He knew that he loved her, loved her with all his heart, as he onced love Mierin, and he was sure she felt the same for him. But, for some reason neither he nor she wanted to admit it, even to their self. They enjoyed this little game too much, and it allowed them to be together without risking being harmed again. As far as he understood, she had lost a man she loved in the destruction of Collam Daam, and Mierin always stood between him and other women. For a long time women had been an amusement for a night or a week. Never more than that. And only part of the reason was Mierin, there was no emotion. Nothing he could love with those women. Ilyena, in more than one way, was different. "I've just heard about that hay hair woman you have taken!" Her voice took a dangerous tone, "You're mine,Lews Therin! No other woman save me can have you!"

He was glad he was holding saidin, Mierin wasn't beyond violence when she was angry. And he knew about five women at least that she had terrorized away from him. He sighed again, loud this time. "I'm not yours, Mierin." He said, keeping his voice cold and calm was an effort, he wanted to slap her till she would understand that he didn't love her anymore. "When you're going to understand that? I loved you, once. It was a long time ago! I love you no more."

He could see that he hadn't reach her, What would it take to convince her? There was a way, but he did not dare to use it."You are mine, Lews Therin. And mine only. When will you understand it? If you will not have me you will have no one!" He had heard her using the same tone, just before she tried to kill him when he told her he was leaving her. He wouldn't, couldn't, let her harm Ilyena, and he could easily believe now that she could do it. Ilyena would be defenseless. She was strong, for a woman, but certainly not on Mierin's level. There was no one in the corridor, a good thing, in that hour not many was in the Hall of Servants. It must be one of those ta'veren twisting the pattern that brought Mierin and him in the same time to the same place.

She hadn't touched saidar, yet, but he still slid a shield between her and the True Source. What he was about to do would have no affect if she would hold even the smallest amount of saidar. "You will not hurt Ilyena, Meririn. Not in anyway. Never!" At the same time he wove Spirit and Air and Fire, placing the command deep inside her, deep enough so she could never break it by her own. He wished he could do the same with her love to him. But what he did was enough. More than enough. Doing it disgusted him, but there was no other way. Compulsation wasn't to be used in this way. But if Ilyena might be hurt because of Mierin...

Meririn stood rigid, not even breathing, staring at him unbelievingly. He had quite a talent in compulsation, and she had that talent only in a small amount only. She wouldn't be able to break it without some help. And she wouldn't do that. What he did, if anyone would ever know about it, would probably led to him being severed. But Mierin wouldn't risk that. She loved him, or so she thought, for himself, he suspected that all she ever wanted was power. She had convinced herself that she loved him, and she had made his life miserable ever since he left her. And that was to say the least. Even after she had left him she continued trying to push him up. Maybe in the thought that he would return to her one day. Her hand moved like lightning, and he barely stepped back in time. "You," she whimpered, "they can sever you for this!" She was still too stunnd to be angry.

"And then I will never be yours, you are trapped, Mierin. If you would turn me in it mean you don't love me. If you don't..." He left it hang in the air, he couldn't continue. He felt like he's about to throw out. He kept his face calm, a small grin on them.

"One way or another," She hissed at him, battering the edge of the shield, "you'll be mine." He was surprised to see tears in her eyes. But she turned away from him before he could do something, not that he had any idea what he could do. And she let both the shield and saidin go. He hit the white wall, accepting the pain gladly. He deserved it. He still have some love in him for Mierin, though not in the way she wanted it. And what he did sickened him. "I had no other choice." He could have lived with compelling her, but not with what he did later. Those words where chosen carefully to hurt her more than anything else. Taking a hold of saidin again he opened a gateway. He didn't care where, only that it would be far away from here, as far as he could. As far as he could get from the abomination he had just done.

Mierin stepped though the gateway to the most distant place she knew. A cliff, with a view for the ocean. It always made her calm. Not now, though. She could barely see through the tears that covered her eyes. She could feel the command he left on her, like a scar on her soul. She couldn't even say something that would insult Ilyena! Lews Therin was hers! He can belonge to no other! Tears trickled down her eyes, she didn't bother to wipe them. She had cried many times since he had left her. She loved him. She would have done everything for him. But he left her. She sank to her knees, sobbing, hugging herself desperately. There was nothing she could do, light, he's supposed to be mine! She thought, fury burning inside her. But even the fury was burned beneath the mass on sadness and grief in her. She had no idea how long she had cried. But when she rose her head the skies already began to darken. She had stood on unsteady feet. The sadness and the grief hadn't lessened, but she could endure them, for a little while. They were there ever since he left her.

She stared to the cliff's end, it could be so easy. Just to walk over the end, to fall over to the sea. They would never find her body. And all this would end. All the lives she had killed in the Sharom. All the lives that were lost when Collam Daam destroyed. She barely make it out of the city herself. And she hadn't stopped blaming herself for it, even though everyone else agreed that it wasn't her fault. but she was the one who drilled the open to... they still had no idea what it has been, only that it also caused people to act strange. Crimes, violent crime became common, where they once had all but forgotten.

"You will be mine, Lews Therin!" She whispered into the evening air, "No matter what I have to do to have you, you will be mine." More than that command, his words hurt her. He trapped her, trapped her in her love to him. Fury boiled inside her again. And this time it overcame the sadness. She couldn't break the command he gave her by her own. Nor could she go to anyone that could break it. "A perfect trap, Lews Therin. But there is a way out, and I will find her." But her already trapped her before. When she made her fall in love with him. And there was no way out of that trap!

It was more than foolish to be nervous. Lews Therin knew it, but couldn't help it for his life. All he could do was to try to hide it as much as he could. He wore blue and red, with a circle of black and white, divided in sinuous line on the left side of his chest. The cloths were soft against his skin, but not as soft as Ilyena's hand, he held it in his. And he could feel her pulse racing. It was their wedding night, and he could hardly believe it. He thought his heart might burst out of his ribcage. Ilyena must have been nervous too, she hadn't stopped smoothing her dress, and his collar and coat. She wore a blue dress, and was so beautiful his eyes ached only looking at her.

When she tried, for the sixth time, to smooth his collar, he caught her head in his hands and kissed her, there was no better way to calm her, and him. "I love you." He whispered at the woman that leaned against his chest when the kiss ended. "Light help me, I love you more than life itself." She simply signed, and wrapped her arms around him. Hugging him tightly.

They waited to be called, the ceremony was as old as time itself, or so it seemed, and Ilyena insisted that it would be kept. For himself, Lews Therin was just as pleased as she did from this. But he knew better than to tell her. As it was all it took from her was one look and he did as she would have ask. It he would ever let her know how deeply he love her... It wasn't that she would misuse it. Ilyena's face was buried in his chest, that was why she hadn't saw the dark hair woman that enter the room. Today, even Mierin looked pale compared to Ilyena. But her eyes held enough heat to burn the world. And as soon as she saw him, holding Ilyena, that heat seem to be double.

She stared at him, a tall woman, a woman he once loved. And he had to force his body to remain soft. Silently he prayed that the bar he compelled on her, the bar that prevented her from hurting Ilyena would hold. If not, he would have to take action, and the light alone know where it may lead. Fury babbled at him, why couldn't the woman leave him alone?

The compulation held. She straightened, and dark, liquid eyes looked at him. She didn't glare. But the stare had the force of a charging bull. Silently, she mouthed ten words, he knew her enough to read her lips. "You will be mine again! You have always been mine!" With that, she turned back and exited the room. White skirts swiveling without sound.

"What happened, Lews Therin?" Ilyena mumbled softly. Her hands tightened around him.

"Nothing, Ilyena. Nothing that should worried you." He said, caressing her hair softly. But until the moment they were called to enter he failed to chase Mierin out of his head.

Mierin entered the hallway silently. The air was cold around her, but it was nothing compared to the chill she felt inside. She heard it only a few minutes ago. Kamarile Maradim Nindar smiled at her in that knowing way that made Mierin always feel as if she knew her thoughts. Kamarile Maradim was a healer of the mind, and she always looked at people if she knew everything about them. Mierin did not want to be understood, she did not want to feel the pain and the void inside. And what she really did not want was Kamarile Maradim to understand these feelings!

"Didn't you know?" Kamarile had said, with that irritating smile on her face. "Lews Therin Telamon and Ilyena Moerelle Dalisar are getting married today." At that moment, Mierin wanted to die. The bubble of pain inside her stomach, where it rested for many years now, came to a terrible explosion and a few moments the world sank away in the pain and the shock. She wanted to scream, to hit the face of the other women. To destroy something. She had to release it, all the pain inside her, all the pain buried for so long.

"What is it, Mierin?" Kamarile asked in a pleasant tone, yet very sly. "Don’t you feel to well?"

In a outburst of fury, Mierin embrace saidar and struck with the power. Then she began to ran through the hallways, leaving Kamarile trembling and almost unconscious behind. She did not see the beauty of the hall, nor was she caught by it, she just ran and ran with a mist of tears blurring her vision. Until she was where she had to be. She knew where he must be.

She opened the door softly and looked into the last hallway, the hallway where the lovers had to wait until they were called. And there, there they stood! Together! And Lews Therin actually hugged her! Memories of him hugging her came to her mind. And she had to fight the tears again.

A few seconds she stood there, gasping for breath and watching how he caressed the blond hair of that.... of Ilyena Moerelle Dalisar. The Compulsion Lews Therin had lain on her, was too strong to get out. She could barely think bad of the other woman. Fury flared up inside of her, in the same instant as Lews Therin looked up from his wife-to-be and stared directly at her.

Mierin understood. A glimpse of a moment, she understood. Lews Therin was lost to her, forever. He loved someone else. She denied the thought before it could fully form in her mind, she pushed it away. The pain did not even had the chance to start. She just stood there, not talking, not moving. Staring. She couldn't even glare at the other woman.

Lews Therin stared back, his dark brown eyes seemed to ask her something. And angry too. He did not want to see her at this moment, when he was going to be married. No! she told herself. Anger because a part of him realizes that what he's doing is a mistake. The biggest in his life. A part of him still loves me, a part of him can't live without me. As I can't live without him.

She felt that her lips were forming the words she always repeated to herself, and to him. The words that kept her alive, that kept her from jumping off that cliff at the end of the world. You will be mine again. You have always been mine.

Lews Therin saw it, and understood. She could not see all his emotions, but he suddenly seemed very confused. Frustrated, hurt. He did still love her.

Mierin turned around and walked away without making any sound. The pain stopped running through her body, it comforted itself under in her stomach again. Where it had been for many years. Since the moment she realized that he would leave her, the pain began to grow. Twice before it had exploded; one time at the moment he told her he is going to leave her, and she, in her outrage, tried to kill him, and failed. Miserably failed. The next time when she noticed he had been with Ilyena and just knew she was loosing him definitely. At that moment, she wanted to kill Lews Therin again, and with him that ... Ilyena and herself too.

She loved Lews Therin more than life itself, more than ... Ilyena would ever be capable of. She loved him too much to let it be healthy. Well, she could not help it. The only thing she wanted in her life was that he would be hers again, and that all the troubles was forgotten. Including the trouble at Collar Daam and the Sharom.

She just wanted them to be lovers again, totally lost in each other, like they were in the beginning. She wanted that everything was like it used to be. A wish. If wishes had wings... A mist of tears blurred her vision. And at that moment. Even saidar couldn't comfort her.

Ishmael never felt so in his life. Saidin flowed in him, sweater than life. And the staff he held in his hands blazed like the sun with dark fire that landed between the defenders of Paran Desen. Flows of saidin race between the armies, carrying death. The air was full of lightnings, and fire and death and beauty. He titled his head back and laughed, today would bring victory. The final victory over the light's forces. They had centered all their armies defending their capital. Winning here would give them the world. Dozen Myradraals stood near him. When ever their gaze touch him he could feel the stab of fear that blazed in them. Myradraal's look entered fear into one's heart. But he was beyond it. Far beyond. He wore simple cloths, in black and red, the colors he made his own.

He stood on an isolated heel, three miles away from the battle, close enough to strike, far enough not to be hurt by the fight. It was easy to see where Demandred, Sammael and Bel'al were. Three spots constantly advancing. Three spots constantly surrounded by fire and lightning. They were fools, risking themselves so.

He felt saidin being woven behind him and spun back, ready to kill the fools that tried to challenge the Naeb'lis. The gateway opened into an utter darkness. And Lews Therin stepped out of it. Cutting the flows of balefire before they could even form themselves. The Myradraals screamed, sound so high it was beyond human hearing, and died in fire.

"Ishmael," Lews Therin said, emotionlessly. He was wrapped in the Oneness. Wrapped in saidin, drawing every drop he could. Drawing as much as Ishmael himself could. "it's time to died." He carried a sword that shone in silver in his fist. A sword that was made of heart stone. But so was the staff he was carrying. He was clad in red and gold and silver,with the symbol of the Aes Sedai, a circle half white half black, divided by a sinuous line, on the left side of his breast. Ishmael promised himself that soon the red would be of blood.

"For you, not for me." Ishmael snarled back at him. And struck, with the One Power and the staff both. Lews Therin didn't even rose his sword. He flow back. Faster than it was supposed to possible. And cut the flows that could rip his soul off his body.

"Why have you betrayed the light, Elan Morin Tedronai? What the Lord of Grave could have possibly offer you that you didn't have already?" There was sadness in Lews Therin's voice. But the sword moved like a serpent tongue, so fast it looked like a blur. And he held as much of saidin as he himself could. Weaves that could destroy his very existence was barely severed in time. And Ishmael answered this flows with weaves of his own, as dangerous as Lews Therin's, if not more.

"Power, Lews Therin. Power beyond your wildest dreams, and immortality. I will live forever!" Lews Therin snarled at that with contempt.

"You're a fool. Selling you soul for this!" He answered, the sword passed a hair width from his chest. And a wall of fire surrounded them. "You already had power, you could have been the First of Servants. Now you are less than a servant. A slave! And immortality? How old are you? Four hundreds? Five?" Ishmael replayed to the fire with earth. And the ground explode beneath Lews Therin's feet. The were moving faster than the eye could see. Half of their strength attacking, with the other half defending themselves, from the other man's action, and their own. "Normal people may need immortality, Ishmael! Not Aes Sedai! We live long enough as it is!"

"That is what you think, Lews Therin." The staff stabbed, like a spear, but Lews Therin's sword slid over it, and Ishmael nearly lost the staff. He abandoned talking, thrown down his staff and looked at Lews Therin's eyes. A storm of weaves landed on the man, stretching his abilities to their border. Lews Therin broke every last one of them, and returned a storm of his own. Fire and Spirit and Water and Air and Earth, flows of all the five powers. Cutting each of the flows was a hard work, but he did it. There was sweat on his face, he couldn't spare the necessary concentration to avoid it. But Lews Therin's face shone with sweat too.

To any woman or a man that couldn't channel, they were just two men, staring at each other with burning hate and fury.

A man that could channel would have known what was happening, and if he had the smallest shred of common sense, would have fled the place. Both men drew the power to the point the sense of life was painful. And beyond it. And the weaves they used weren't used in thousands of years. For a reason, even balefire, with all its might, wasn't truly a weapon in this fight.

The fight wasn't for the body, but for the soul. Somehow, Ishmael knew that it will not do to destroy the body alone. Somehow, the battle would renew itself elsewhere, at another time. Lews Therin knew it too. And accepted it gladly.

Ishmael could have destroyed everything in his sight, in heartbeats, and Lews Therin had as much strength. But neither one of them could bring this battle to an end. The only possible result would be the death of both of them. Lews Therin had a grin on his face, an eager one. But Ishmael wasn't so enthusiastic at the thought of death.

The earth exploded beneath their feet, erasing the heel they stood in, they now stood on air alone. They weren't aware of it. But every man that could channel had stopped fighting. They could see what was happening. But none of them could give aid. To this side or another. Any man that would even try to come close would die instantly. By both men. And none of them wanted to get any closer than they were already. The amount of power those two men draw was enough to level a city. Enough to destroy both armies. Those men knew what would be the result of the battle. Soon, one of those men would fail to counter one of the attacks. But the power he held would be released, uncontrolled, and would destroying everything miles away. No men that could channel strong enough to open a gateway left in the armies of the shadow. Seeing that, and, understanding why, the females that could channel that had betrayed the light had fled too.

The Aes Sedai, men and women, stayed on the battle. Killing in the armies of the dark. Some stayed because of duty. Some for glory, and some because they had no other place to go. If Paran Desen would lost, the light would be lost too. As it was, some of the Aes Sedai did fled, but those were few. With the disappearance of the dread lords and the Forsakens among their ranks, the armies of the shadow where driven back. Killed by saidin and saidar.

Ishmael couldn't see the reason for the sudden change in battle course, but he could see that the armies he commanded at, were being destroyed. With a scream of pure frustration. Ishmael directed all the power he could draw into a shield between him and the other man. Face twisted in hate, he fled.

Lews Therin fell to his knees, exhausted, staring at the place where Ishmael were. "No!" He whispered, "It can't end this way!" Scrambling to his feet slowly, he titled his head back and screamed, "ISHMAAAAEEEL!!!" Hate was burned on his face. He channeled, and his voice was carried across the entire battle field, where the last remnants of the shadowspawns and Friends of t Dark were slaughtered. "This isn't over yet, Ishmael! We will meet again!"

The gateways opened of all sides, making the air look full of holes. The Aes Sedai reached just in time to catch him. He was so exhausted that he had fainted. But Ishmael was even in a worse condition.

"Who won?" That was the first thing Lews Therin said, and Ilyena jumped to her feet. She was half asleep in a chair near his bed. He was unconscious for so long that she feared... She will not think about it!

"Are you fine, Lews Therin?" Channeling for so long, to such extent, could sever even him. And no male Aes Sedai could tell her one way or the other! Fool men! Any woman would have known it a moment, if it was another woman. But men couldn't do it. They had to be awake for him to resonance for other men channeling. There was no way to know whatever he had severed himself until he would be awake. And those hours of worry had sent her to the edge.

Lews Therin moved his eyes slowly across the room. It was a large room, but now it looked small. At least fifteen Aes Sedai and about that number normal people, who couldn't channel. All the Aes Sedai were their children, all their children born with the spark, all were quite strong. The others, she thought of as their children too.

"You won Lews Therin, can't you remember?" Shorin Kelal asked. That eternal grin of him returned to his face. He never looked as if he was worried of something. But he was, in those hours. Lord General Shorin Kelal Semar was a tall man, only a hand below Lews Therin. With blonde hair and green eyes. He seemed to have a strange affect of women, grown women who should have known better. He was handsome, no more, but only few women could resist him. She saw him once or twice with Aes Sedai that was more than twenty times his age. Or with women that was barely old enough to be considered so. He spent most of his time hunting, women usually. But seeing him as a lecher was a grave mistake.

He was probably the greatest general in the side of the light, thirty only. He wrote dozen books or so about war. She had read them, and could barely believe he was the one who wrote them. He was practically pushed by Lews Therin into the position of the second in command. Unlike others, he had no wishes for power. But Lews Therin was right, under his command, they won many battle. And although he lost few times, any other general would have taken more losses than him. Lews Therin shaped him to that, in purpose. Pushing him to study weapon and ancient wars, it was twenty years ago when Lews Therin somehow guessed that there would be a need in generals for the wars that would come. And weapons made of steal wasn't the only thing they needed. Lews Therin made weapons out of humans.

Shorin Kelal wasn't the only one he did it to. Almost two dozens men and women, some able to touch the True Source, some not. Had been found by him, between the age of five to the age of ten. All orphans, he told them, and her, what he was about to do. They agreed eagerly. Violence became a common thing in a world where it was unknown completely. And their parents were murdered all.

What he did disgusted him, so he said, but also fascinated him in a way. He wrote several essays about the development of the personality. And with those children, he had the opportunity to test his theories.

He rose them all as if they were their children, both he and she thought about them that way. And made weapons out of them. They adored him, from Shorin Kelal, who could lead a battle from sure defeat to victory, as he did in the battle on Paran Desen. To Teadra, who knew almost as much about battle, but preferred to be a soldier, a thing she was more than good at.

They would follow him to the Pit of Doom and back, if he would ask them. In many ways, she was happy for them, they were happy about themselves. In many other ways, she couldn't see the difference between what Lews Therin did and taming animals.

"I know that Ishmael run away." Lews Therin snapped, trying to seat up. "I asked about the battle. Who won?"

Ilyena put her hands on his shoulders and pushed. It was evidence to his weakness that she could push him back. "You're staying in bed, Lews Therin. Until you have rested enough." He looked at her stubbornly, she put her hands on her hips and lectured him. "You will stay in bed, shielded and tied, if this would be necessary. I will not let you kill yourself! And at the moment, you can't even touch saidin, and certainly not to break a shield!" The first thing he had done, she was sure, was to try to touch saidin, and he would have said something if he couldn't find the source. At the moment, he was too weak to touch saidin, but he would touch it again. Relief surged in her in waves that threaten to drown her.

Shorin Kelal laughed, and the laugher spread all across the room. "I would have suggested to you to stay in bed, Lews Therin. You don't want her angry on you. I will see you again when you're better." With that, he took his ashendri, a weapon he created himself, a spear with a sword blade on it, and left. The others followed him, they all carried weapons, that was the first lesson Lews Therin taught them, never to be unguarded. They had learned well. Every last one of them was almost as famous as Lews Therin. She was more than proud at them, as much as she was in their own children, and for the same reason.

"What happened in the battle, Ilyena?" Lews Therin asked as soon as only them left in the room.

"The dread lords and the Forsakens fled the battle. They knew what was about to happen. If either one of you would have died that day you would have destroyed everything in sight. With them gone, we won." Further explanation would have to wait. "Are you fine, I mean, the power..."

"I'm fine, Ilyena. Only weak as a newborn baby." He muttered, he never liked to be forced into something. And she could understand easily how much he wanted to be out of bed. But she wouldn't let him kill himself.

"Now, Lews Therin, what kind of soup you want?" She asked pleasantly, ignoring his glare.

Ilyena sat uneasily on the soft chair in the Hall of Servants. She never liked to be left behind. Especially when there was a battle to fight in outside. Lately, in the Hall, they did nothing save talking. Didn't they understood that there was a war outside the white walls that protected them? They were so blind that sometimes she wanted to scream on them till they would see the truth.

She blocked the disgust away from her face. It was easy, after so much time in the Hall. In the Hall, people could get hurt all too easily from being too open in the Hall. This began before the War of Shadow. Even before the bore was opened. Plots, schemes and lies in order to strengthen your position was common since the beginning or time. Or so she thought sometimes. The Dark Lord of Grave didn't create them. She tried to stop hearing the speaker, a woman dressed in gray, who she remembered only faintly. Her cloths were enough to distinguish her, though. Ilyena ignored every thing the grays did. Gray, the color between the black of shadow and the white of light. The peace factions hadn't died. In this, she fully agreed with her husband, there can be no peace with the shadow. Even if the Forsaken would keep there words, they couldn't let more than half the population of the world to be under the shadow control.

The colors were a new thing, started only a year or two ago. But now there wasn't single Aes Sedai that hadn't wore the distinguishing colors. It was a statement of opinions. For herself, she wore blue. She was pregnant, again. That was the reason she wasn't in green, and took part in the battle of Sharen Mazor. No pregnant woman was allowed to wear green. Most of them moved to the blue. Spying was almost as important as battling. And she had succeed, more than once, to achieve information that had won more than one battle.

In one look on the Hall she could see how it was divided. No one wore green, they were all in Sharen Mazor, fighting, and she longed to be there. But all around her there was blues. Almost all women, almost all pregnant. The few women who weren't pregnant, and the men, wore blue mainly because they were better in spying than fighting. Or because they were afraid of battles. There was no shame in that. For herself, she had more than one nightmare about those battle. The One Power, when used as a weapon, was horrible. They simply saw too much, too much to go back to battle.

Not many were grays, not many wanted a peace with the shadow. By many eyes, there was no real difference between gray and black.

Whites were even fewer, she felt only scorn for them. They refused to take part in the killing, or in the war, pretending that the world hasn't changed. It was a sickness that was worse than the grays. And much deadlier. At least it was limited, and didn't spread. Whites argued about the nature of the Lord of Grave, and about the reasons for the war, they argued about points of pure logic. But they did nothing to help in the war. Useless cowards! She thought in fury, They could be browns if they didn't want to take part in battle. They aren't da'shain who were sworn not to take part in battles. The Aiels not fighting was another things, and any Aiel that was found able to channel and became Aes Sedai took part in the fighting.

Browns, men and women, at least studied useful things. It was the browns who came up with the ideas of sealing the bore. They had dozen or more options. And although only two of them was useful, that had been the greatest help possible they could give. And they at least did something, even if they usually were blind to the outside world. Browns had brought the ideas of the shocklances, and other weapons. They were the ones discovering the affect of balefire. And the reason why it wasn't used anymore. She barely kept herself from shivering.

In the first year of the War of Shadow, reality itself was about to unravel. The browns stopped it, and literally saved the world.

Her eyes landed on a red sphere in the Hall. Women, with not even one man, clad in red blood dresses. The women who signed Latra Posae's concord. She couldn't make her mind about Latra Posae. For herself, she wasn't strong enough to be asked to join if Lews Therin's plan would ever carried out. And Latra Posae knew enough to not even ask. Once she belonged to her ajah, but she left it long ago. When she fell in love with Lews Therin. Light, he survived thousands battles, let him be fine this battle too. She prayed silently, but she had participated in battles, and knew well enough that anything could happen. The armies was led by Demandred. And Lews Therin and the Forsaken would seek each others blood. She knew it for certain. She had seen one of the battles between Lews Therin and Demandred, it was something to remember, almost as much as her husband's battle against the Ishmael, the Betrayer of Hope. There was no way to tell who would win if they would fight. So far, it had always ended even.

The gasp that run through every man in the Hall sent her to her feet, a gateway began to open, and then others. Dozens of them. All around her, women shone with the light of saidar, readying flows that would bring death on anything. By tradition stronger than any law none may travel into or from the Hall. The gateway opened, and Lews Therin stepped through. As always now, he wore green. And the sword that was made for him hanged on his side. His hair began to gray.

But he still carried himself with the same flexibility of the younger men that stepped through their own gateway. They moved like a pack of wolves. Hard faces and grim. The Hundred Companion. Clad in green, the each had a symbol on the left side of their breast, a circle divide by a sinuous line. Half black half white. The symbol for Aes Sedai, as old as the Hall of servant itself. The gray woman near the rostrum barely jumped back from Lews Therin's gateway. He carried a sword in his hand, though his own hanged on his hip. A sword blacker than the night. She blinked at it. It was a Myradraal's sword. There was stains of blood on his coat, but his face was stone hard. And his eyes shone with fury stronger than she ever seen with him. He had an absolute control on his emotions, all the time. But now it was clear that he was furious. The Hundred Companion was as furious as he was, sending dark stares across the Hall. Most of the glares were directed at the reds, and at Latra Posae. The Hundred Companion were more than ready to carry out Lews Therin's suggestion. As it was called now. Latra Posae's concord was the only thing that stopped them from carrying it out.

Lews Therin's gaze swept on the Hall. He might have stopped on Latra Posae, she couldn't be sure. There was no recognition in his eyes when he looked at her. No one moved, or made a sound.

"Sharen Mazor has fallen." He said, fury in his voice. Soft moans of despair run through the Hall. That was the last in the defeats that they had taken lately. "And you sit here, talking! Arguing!" Scorn chimed in his voice.

"There is a war out there!" He roared at them, "And it's a war we're losing. A war we can't afford to lose!"

His gaze turn to the grays' seats. "You! You talk about peace. Peace with those who would rip a child's heart out of his body for the mere reason that they can. And you!" He pointed at the whites, "Who pretend that the war does not happening."

"You hiding here. Refuse to see the truth. Hiding behind walls and pretend that the war wouldn't reach you." He rose the sword he held. Midnight black that reflected no light. "One way or the other you will have to face the war. And if you will not come to face it. It will face you. And then it would befar too late for you to do anything!" He changed his hold on the sword. Holding it with both hands, blade down. And thrust it down into the stand. He must have been channeling, the sword sank through the stone without a sound.

He looked at them, all of them, with such a look that for a moment she thought he would strike with the power. She felt so proud of him that moment that she thought her heart would explode. "This will stay here," He said, stating a fact. "until the war will over. One way or the other. This will stay here, to remind you." His gaze was fixed on Latra Posae's face, "that there is a war outside the Hall. That you cannot hide here and pray that it would end. Or that you have the time to consider what is the best path to choose." His voice faded for a heartbeat.

"And it will stay here also to remind you that I will destroy the world before letting the Lord of Grave have it." With that, he opened a gateway and passed through. Not looking back.

Latra Posae stood, and she started to walk toward the stand. Leon Daern, Lews Therin's second in the Hundred Companion pointed at her, and she stopped on her track. "Lews Therin was right, you know it." Only the emotionless of k'doi sounded in his voice. "You are a fool." The look he gave her was full of disgust. He was her son. "You all are. Do you think that because you don't want to be involve in the war it would not touch you?" He put a hand on the sword on the stand. "Who ever that would draw it would die. You can not allow yourself to forget that there is a war. You can not allow yourself this luxury anymore. You could never do it."

With that, his look moved on the Aes Sedai that sat on the Hall. It looked as if he stared at any one at the Hall in the eye. Few could meet his gaze. "And let me promise you one thing, Lews Therin was right. One way or the other, the Lord of Grave must not be allowed to win."

The gateways opened behind him. And the Hundred Companions left the Hall. Ilyena stood on her feet, and opened a gateway of her own. For skimming, she had no clue where she was about to go. Only that she couldn't stay here. Before closing the gateway, Ilyena stared at Latra Posae, "Do you really believe that you have a chance of succeeding?" Sharen Mazor was the last city before the hiding place where the great sa'angreals were kept. "Should the shadow move any father, all hope for your plan is lost. Yet you refuse to admit it. You claim that Lews Therin's plan is too risky to be carried out. Have you even considered the risks in your own actions?" She channeled, and her voice boomed from every corner in the Hall.

All around her, every man or woman wearing blue went through their own gateways. They were the firsts, but not the lasts. Men and Women, in brown or white or gray opened gateways. Supporting Lews Therin, or maybe escaping from the accusations they knew they deserved. Only the women in red stayed in the Hall left in the Hall. Some, mostly whites, who stuck to the tradition, left the Hall through the huge gilded doors. But none, save those women supporting Latra Posae, remained in the Hall. But it was enough. Without Latra Posae support, Lews Therin's plan would never be carried out.

And Latra Posae believed that she was right, she had never took a risk in her life, and rarely took a part in the battles that surged for the last ten years all over the world. She always took the safest path that there was. Ilyena could remember time when she thought it's logical. Now, with the war, she couldn't see much difference between Latra Posae's behavior and Moghedien's.

Lews Therin tightened the sword belt on his hips. Today he abandoned the green he wore usually. And dressed himself in red and brown and gold. Coat and breech that were made before the War of Power, before even the opening of the bore. He wanted to remember how it was in those days. The days when innocence wasn't a sure way to be death before you knew it.

He like those times, he longed for them. Maybe what he was about to do today would help bring them back, yet he didn't believe it. People had gone mad the last one hundred years, struggling for power was a common thing even back on those days, but now those struggles were bloody. And those who had touched violence wouldn't let it go. Society wouldn't regain sanity for a long time. Maybe never. He didn't think he would see it. He sent his look to the bed. Where Ilyena was still sleeping. She would sleep for another hour or two before she would awake, a simple weave took care of that. She would try to stop him, he knew that, she believed him, believed that there was no other choice. But she would try to stop him anyway, because there chances were close to nothing that he would stay alive to see the end of the day. Strange, that didn't seem to worry him any more. He accepted that, now. His only fear was that the plan wouldn't work, that some how he would fail, that somewhere there was a flaw where the Lord of Grave can press on, maybe collapsing the entire plan, but there was no other choice. How long till the final defeat? Months? Weeks? Or was it a matter of days only? What ever the result this day would bring with, it had to be better than not doing a thing.

"You might do mistakes if you do something," He whispered, exiting the room "but it's always a mistake not doing a thing!" It was an old saying he favored.

"You always used to say that." A familiar voice said, Shorin Kelal's voice. The man wore blue and green, as always. And his ashendri was in his hand, also as always. All around him stood all the children he took into his custody so long ago. The fifteen that survived the battle. More than the faces that were presented, he saw the faces that wasn't here. Teadra with that eternal smile of her, that never missed a shot with a bow. And her lover, the most ugliest man Lews Therin ever saw, but Teadra loved him. And... There was too many to list, too many he had lost. Too many friends, sons and daughters he had lost in this cursed war.

"You're going to Shayol Ghul today." Shorin Kelal said, somehow, he became the leader of this band. The other simply stared at him. "We will go with you."

"How under the light you have found out?!" He gasped, no one knew, save the Hundred Companions, he hid it even from Ilyena.

"We know you," Dark Aeral said, black hair and clad in dead black, she stared at him accusingly. "you said, when you first started to train us, that you will use us anywhere you need us. And now you decide you don't, why?"

Lews Therin sighed, he had to hide it better, "You will be no use there, Aeral, you know it. You can't channel and -"

"That is why you're taking ten thousands soldiers? Because of the fun of it? You need soldiers, and we don't need you to protect us anymore. Not now, certainly, if you're going to the Pit of Doom, we will go with you." Shorin Kelal was a general in battles for the last ten years. He knew well the voice of command. It also explained how they found out about it, Shorin Kelal knew just about everything about the armies of the Light. He wouldn't ignore the slightest move of forces.

"You don't have a choice, Lews Therin." Aeral said, "One way or the other, we are going with you." The others simply looked. He could simply tie them up with air. They would stay here until some one would sever the flows. He could, Ilyena would wake in an hour. She would free the, and... he owe them too much. He couldn't do this to them.

Sighing, he glared at them, but they stared at him right back. Nothing showed on their faces, they knew him as well as he knew himself and better. They knew they had won, maybe before he knew it.

Muttering under his breath he opened a gateway. They passed through without a word, there was no need of words between them. Sometimes he thought that they could share their thoughts. He had seen them fighting, it was like they all had one mind controlling them. Dancing in the battle like this.

He had taken them into a distant cliff. So far from the world nether the light nor the shadow battled on it. The Hundred Companions waited, none of them rising an eyebrow to the sight of the fools that insisted on coming along. They knew, but they, also, ignore his glares.

Leon Daern came close, smiling faintly at Shorin Kelal, "We are ready, we have close to ten thousands soldiers here." Lews Therin could see it by himself. Men and Women, carrying shocklances. And Ogiers too. Almost twice as tall as normal man. Waited silently. There would be no cheers today. They knew where they were heading too.

"Open the gateways!" He orders, and the sense of saidin filled the air. And the soldiers charged. The Hundred Companions were the first to pass through.

Later, he could never remember clearly what happened. Only images of trollocs and fades and shadowspawn charging. There were always large numbers of shadowspawn near Shayol Ghul. He killed them with saidin or with a blade. The clash of metals rang all around him. Sweet music to his ears.

He was only faintly aware of breaking through the line of shadowspawns. Only that suddenly he had nothing to stop him. And he moved forward, always forward. His target was a hole in the mountain side, not much different than any other. But it pull at him. That was the opening into the Lord of Grave's opening to the world. Into the Pit of Doom. The Hundred Companions were on his side. Leaving the fight for the soldiers, they had a greater target ahead.

"LEWS THERIN," The voice exploded inside his mind, crushing everything. He held into k'doi with fingernails. Wrapping himself in the soft warm of the power. "DRAGON. YOU HAVE COME AGAIN! COME, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO DIE FOREVER!" He ignored it, tried to. Centering all his attention at the goal he had come to achieve today.

He moved forward, ignoring everything. All he cared about was the seals he carried in his pouch. And the mission they were here to accomplish.

He focused on placing one foot in front of the other. The air itself seemed to resist him. One corner held Ilyena's image, the way she smiled, moved. He would miss her, but what he was doing today wasn't for the world, it was for her, more than all.

Somehow they reached into the Put of Doom, against air that seem to push them back, against ground that seemed to open holes to trip their feet.

He saw, from the corner of his eyes, Ishmael looking at them, stunned, and beautiful Lanfear, a white drop on the black of Shayol Ghul, and Rahvin, and Asmodean, and Graendel, and Semiharge. And all the Forsakens, he pushed the question about what they were doing here for later, if there would be later for him. In a voice that was as dry as death he gave sharp orders, he could barely hear himself. But he could feel the Hundred Companions responding. None of the Forsakens made a move, or touched the True Source. That was strictly forbidden here for them, and even now they didn't dare to defy their Great Lord's orders.

He pulled out the seals from his belt pouch. Taking them in his hands, Seven seals, half shining white, the other dead black. Balance, the symbol of the Aes Sedai for so long. The balance that the Lord of Grave had broken. The Forsakens overcame their shook. And he could feel them filling themselves with the power, felt the tingle in his skin that said that the female Forsakens channeled. He gave them no time to react.

A net of all five powers appeared around them, waved by every last one of the Hundred Companions, pushing them into that lake of fire. "NO!" It was an order that something inside him longed to obeyed to, "YOU WILL NOT TRAP ME AGAIN, DRAGON! NOT THIS TIME!" Something came out of the bore, something so vile that wasn't even registered. Something that struck not at him. But at the link between him and the source. Something flowed into him, into the Hundred Companions, into the male half of the True Source.

He screamed in agony greater than he thought possible. He knew, he understood. He heard other screams behind him, the Hundred Companions, dying maybe. But the light burn him if he would give up now. The net the Hundred Companion wove was still in the air. Still pressing on the bore. He fought against it, whatever it was, that was pouring into him. He could have tried stopping it. But he ignored it, as much as he could. Shaping the flows the Hundred Companions continued to weave. Despite everything. Exactly as he had planned, as he dreamed so many times. Shaping it into the right pattern. Half way though, he already didn't know what he was doing. Continuing doing so only because of inner impulse. Something that was deep inside him. But then he dropped to his knees. The screams behind him hadn't stopped. If anything they had became stronger. He turned his gaze back. More bodies than he could count lied on the ground. Burned by black fire. But the rest. Saidin pulsed in him, and he struck with the power at the horror he saw. Destroying them one by one. But there were too many of them. Too many to fight with and survived. He fled, to the only place where he would be safe, to the place he called home. But those horror chased him there too. And he struck with the power. Defending his home, he wouldn't run away from this place, he would defend it until his last breath. Destroying horrors beyond belief.

He didn't even heard the screaming, or saw the blue eyes woman that faced him. He channeled Air, and she was thrust away. Hitting in a wall hard enough to bounce back, at the same times, flows of Fire and Earth stooped her heart. He barely noticed. Already striking at another monster. Another creature that existed in the madness of his actions alone.

Ok, here are the notes for the second part of the story. I don't like this story. Damn it, I had tears in my eyes when I finished it. Anyway, here is the things I had to take into count writing the story.

First, it was said that after three first years the shadow made major advance. And conquered many territories. But in the next four years, Lews Therin was able to drive them back. I had to find some explanation for this. The other piece of information I had was that Lews Therin had met Ishmael in the gates of Paran Desen and somehow won the battle but didn't kill the Forsaken. I had to think of something to explain this. So I made the Paran Desen's battle. Where they lost most of their soldiers, which would explain how they were winning for three years and losing in the next four. This would explain how this happened.

You also might have noticed the ajah I think that they were divided from before the war of powers. Into several factions. Green is now the battle ajah. It seemed logical that they were so in the Age of Legends also. Gray are now negotiating, and according to the Guide, there were some peace factions in the Age of Legends. So I gave them that color. White are utterly useless. Thinking about logic all day helps no body. I assume that they had to origin somewhere, and those people who denied reality seemed to me a good choice. I can prove you that the skies are yellow, logically. But it won't turn them yellow. The same with the whites. What they do is useless. If they wanted to research, they should have joined the browns. The browns job remained the same. The blue dealing with politic, and since they are known to have the largest networks of eye & ears I made them the spies of the Age of Legends. Since I don't think that there was much to deal with politic in the war. In the guide it's said that Rahvin enjoyed politic, and that he gained more than one territory by negotiating only. But if a land was in the hand of the shadow... there was no way back unless in battle. Since in the Age of Legends any one with the talent could heal almost anything, I didn't bother to make a special ajah for healing. There were Aes Sedai that was very strong in healing, Semiharge, before she turned. But they wouldn't devote their life to healing only. I believe that they had joined one of the other factions, and didn't create an ajah of their own. Only after they lost so much of the knowledge they had they had to create another ajah, so the knowledge wouldn't be lost. The reds, Latra Posae's ajah, I believe that Latra Posae was the cause of the breaking between the genders. The breaking in the Hall of Servants was between male and female. Large numbers of them refuse to even speak to one another.And Latra Posae, even when the end was clear, refused to admit that she was wrong. It sound close enough to a certain red we know. Elaida, and even with so little information, it's more than easy to despite Latra Posae as much as we despite Elaida or more.

And about the children Lews Therin had trained, it seemed to fit him. Rand had changed Mat's course of thought, forcing him to acknowledge duty. It seemed reasonable that he might do the same in the Age of Legends, and considering the life span of Aes Sedai, it is more than logical that he could have taken on himself such project. And another thing to consider about it is that in tSR, when Rand is in the ter'angreal he see a soldier, when the war is over. And the man he was then think, "he was taken to learn war from the age of ten." or some such, it means that they did such things. That was also something I thought of when writing this. If they made soldiers that way, why not making comandos?

Again, I'm not RJ, nor planning to be. I think it was much more cooler if RJ would have write New Spring about the Age of Legends and the War of Shadow instead about Lan and Moiraine. But to make the entire war I would have write something the size of New Spring. If you want it, I'm not the place to look for. Go to RJ and bug him. I took the scenes I think are most probable to appear in the War of Power and wrote them. I truly hope you would like it. And again, special thanks to Lanfir, for the great help.

Last night I posted four stories that I wrote ages ago (8 - 6 years), it has been quite amusing to read them, but they are long, and I don't really have the time to edit them as I would like.

I'm going to post them here as is, and edit them at my liesure later.

Sorry about the grammer and spelling, but do recall that I wrote this a long time ago. I hope that my english improved since then.

When I started this reposting of old stories, I didn't think that it would take so long, or that I wrote so much.

I'm shocked to see how bad my English was (and I shudder to think what I would think about my English right now in ten years). And the stories aren't really very good, but it's good to remember them.

I'll post the rest tomorrow, there are still ~10 of them, and they are the longest (and actually the most interesting).

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 4 June, 1999 ]

[You probably need to read Tower of Midnight before you can understand this story.]

The very top of the Dragonmount held no air for a man to breath in the Waking World. In Tel'aran'rhiod, it mattered nothing. "What need do the dead have in breathing?" The man wondered loudly, he could, with a single thought, stop breathing, call an end to the beating of his heart, and it would matter nothing. "How can the dead die again? Or live again?" He shouted it to the wind, gashing, cold wind that tried to pull him down, to make him fall from his high stand. He laughed at the futile attempts. "I stood before the Dark One in the Pit of Doom, and in front Demandred and Moridin in the slopes of Shayol Ghul," He told the wind, where no wind should be, "You couldn't stop me."

"I didn't think so," A female voice replied, "It's good to see you again among us, Dragon." A woman appeared, young features despite long white hair, she wore a green and yellow skirt, made of thin velvet. And she walked on the air alone toward him.

The man snorted, "It can hardly be good, being dead, Selizan."

"You succeeded, so I understand, and it seemed to me that you're much... calmer than the last time you've appeared in the Unseen world." The woman told him with a twisted grin.

"Did I ever lose?" The man asked, "I search my memory, and as far as I goes, I see not a single battle lost. From the beginning of time, all the battles are won."

Selizan nodded, "That is why you're the Dragon, you know that. There is no one else but you."

The man grimaced at her, "There is no need in such things anymore, you know that, how long before I will be called back for a new life? It would be long for sure."

"It's always so, with you," The woman said, a chair appearing behind her, "You seemed to like the long rest." She added as she sat down.

"Pawh! Long rest!" The man nearly shout in disgust, "Death, real death, has to be more interesting than... this." His hand motioned forward, not only the mountain, but this world, Tel'aran'rhiod was a prison for him now.

"Ancient and powerful and short temper as always," Selizan said, "But I'm not here to make that kind of a conversation with you, Rand al'Thor. It had been half a year, in the waking world, since you died. And you stand here, on your grave and birth place, thinking."

"So they sent you," Rand smiled at the woman, she was his daughter once, in an age long gone, a sister in another, sometimes a mother, most often, their life were tied together. As he born, was she did, before or after, the reverse, however, was untrue. "You are no family this age."

"For the time being," She agreed, "That aiel wife of yours is about to give birth, a matter of days, the last time I checked, maybe she already did, the way time pass here." She glanced at him, he was one of the few that knew how to control the passing of time in Tel'aran'rhiod. Few understood how it was to be done, fewer were capable of doing it.

"I see," His smile was nothing more than baring of teeth. "And you think that you might be born again, as my daughter, again?"

She shrugged, "We are tied together, Dragon. As you well know."

"Tied?" The man wondered, "I remember killing you, is it the tie you meant to?"

She ignored his words, "The rest would have like to welcome you, but... consider the last time, they avoid you, until you'll search for the company."

"I wish no company, Selizan." The man who was the dragon said, "I want my life back, the Light burn my soul!"

Horror painted her face, "You can't!" She whispered, swallowing hard, "you mustn't! It will break every law, laws you have made!"

He simply shrugged, "Laws never hold me before," was all he said, "And you give me a reason for going that is strong enough for me to ignore the laws." His eyes burned, scales appeared on his face, gold and scarlet, for a long moment he simply stare at his hands, where five sharp claws replaced long, delicate fingers. "I will not let my children grow fatherless, nor let my wives grief a man undead!"

Selizan simply stared, "Then go, there is none here that is capable of stopping the Dragon. None will try, you know that. Remember duty, Dragon, if you will try that, you might rip your tie to the Wheel of Time, never to be reborn again, not the way we do."

He laughed, throwing his head back, "There is nothing I hope more than that, Selizan." He said, and jumped, his body changing as he thought himself in another form.

Selizan stared at the cold red and black eyes of the creature, snakelike, huge, shining in the sunlight of Tel'aran'rhiod, sharp teeth were shown as the creature opened his mount, snakelike tongue, as wide as her leg, tasted the air. Then he was gone. Selizan was gone a heartbeat after, they would have to do something, to try to stop that, even though it would probably be futile. It would take him hours, days, maybe weeks, to reach the point where he could slip away from the world of dreams to the waking world safely.

The Dragon may not leave Tel'aran'rhiod.

Egwene walked to the waygate with a fury she didn't even try to control. "I still don't understand why you're so angry." Gawyn noted coldly on her side. "You want to get out of the White Tower, here is your chance, if only for a short time." Sometimes Egwene wished she didn't love the man so much, maybe then she would be able to strangle him.

"It's not this, Gawyn." She said through clenched teeth. "Whoever summoned the Council better have a good reason for this. The Last Battle may be done with. But there are thousands of details I need to take care for."

"Stop this," Gawyn advised, as if he knew enough to do so, her husband or not, Gawyn was Elayne's brother, and an Asha'man beside. She trusted him, he wouldn't tell anything she ask him not to, but there were things she prefer he wouldn't know. Let Logain find it out by himself, if he could. "Logain wouldn't let you gain more power than you already have. You should thank Leana and Toveine for what you have." Egwene clenched her teeth harder, she didn't like hearing this. Only Gawyn knew her enough to make her so angry. And Rand, of course, suddenly she had to blink tears from her eyes. The Council of Light was Rand's idea, Rand's creation. Seven months since the Last Battle, since that horrible battle when she was sure the Light had no chance at all. But despite all, they had won, the price was horrible, but they won. More than three millions dead, but the strategy the Council decided upon won the battle for them.

The Shadow army was almost completely destroyed. But that wasn't were the real battle had taken place, of course, and not where the price was harder to pay. Rand, Nynaeve and Lan, together with nearly hundred thousand soldiers, all of them dead. In a suicide attack on Shayol Ghul. All dead, worse than dead. Their souls taken by the Dark One, Egwene could only guess what the Dark One would do to Rand. Even Halima wasn't chatty about this particular subject.

As always, she hadn't notice passing through the waygate, one moment she was walking in one of the most unused corridors of the White Tower, the other she was in the Hall of the Light. Nobody knew where this place was, save Rand and maybe Logain and Halima and Elayne and Aviendha and none could travel here or from here. White walls changed into stony one, a short corridor into the Hall. "It's not this!" Egwene said, "I have to make sure that the rest of the Shadowspawn will be destroyed, that the army will be dispersed properly, to make sure the Hall will listen to me when I give them their bloody orders, even when they don't understand it. Thousand things to do, and I can do none when I called for useless chats." Halima was a part of the Council, and that was as much a reason as the other one.

"The army is for me to take care for." Gawyn said, he never lost his calm, not since returning from the Black Tower. "And you are angry because it's not Rand who summoned the Council. You're afraid that someone else may want to take his place. He was your friend, Egwene, there is no shame in grieving." The Light alone know what he mean by this, she did grieve Rand, and Nynaeve, and all the friends she lost. But she couldn't afford herself to be weak now.

Now of all time the White Tower must be strong, to guide the world as it had always done, and it wasn't Rand who summoned the Council. Light, he couldn't. He is dead! Rand was the one thing uniting them. He created the Council, and the Council won the Last Battle. But it was Rand that was holding them together, with an iron fist indeed, but he held them together still. Egwene has no idea how sane he was near the end. The orders he gave were mad enough, but mad or not, he had won the last battle. Egwene knew she will always have nightmares about Elayne's face, and Aviendha's and Min's, seeing that flash of light in the north, and knowing Rand was dead.

Gawyn held her shoulder tightly suddenly, she was just about to walk into a wall. "I'm sorry, Gawyn, I ... was thinking too hard." He snort in disbelief, but loosened his grip. They had entered the Hall of Light, a pompous name, but that was Rand's intention. A fairly large room, with close to two dozens chairs, arranged around black and white stone table. Gawyn left her to seat on her chair, above her head the White Flame of Tar Valon shined clearly. Gawyn took his chair on the opposite side of the table. His chair was carve with as a green boar, with the Symbol of Light on the background. As the ancient sign of the Aes Sedai was now called. They were the firsts to arrive, Egwene wished she could cry, Rand was supposed to be here. As much as she hated him when he manipulated her, giving her orders he made sure she would follow, with the results of disobeying being explained to her in details. Rand wanted her to obey him, and he cared nothing about what she thought. But despite everything, she would have given close to everything just to have him again. She would even be happy to hear him threatening on her. It was as ridiculous as it was true.

It hadn't taken long before Logain entered the Hall. He was, as always, dressed all in black silk, with two matching pins in each side of his collar, a dragon wounding itself around a sword. He was walking the same way Gawyn did, as if he would begin to dance or fight in the next step. The woman that followed him looked as if she was created to please men. Dark hair surrounding oval face and green eyes. Beautiful enough to make any man stare. She was dressed in the same fashion as Logain, high collar black coat and breaches as black, two pins on her collar, a sword and a dragon. The only female Asha'man.

It didn't require thought, Egwene touched saidar and wove fire. Flame strong enough to burn stone surrounded Halima. The woman stepped out of it, smiling! The fire didn't touch her. "Egwene, how nice of you to give me such a... warm welcome." She was ready for this, of course, Halima knew exactly how much she had hated her. She had very good reasons.

"Halima," Gawyn rose from his chair, smiling at the woman. Gawyn was her warder for a long time now. And had she noted the slightest bit of attraction to the woman she would have killed them both! But there was only affection in his voice, in the bundle of his feelings in the back of her head! Affection! "You shouldn't tease Egwene so." Was she the only one that wasn't blind to the woman? She was one of the Forsaken!

There seemed to be true warmth in Halima's smile, the woman had fooled her for a long time. No longer, but now everyone else seemed to be fooled instead. Light, Rand didn't trust her, but he gave Halima his trust fully. Halima! "One more time, Egwene." Logain said pleasantly, "and I will give you to Halima. I am sure she could cure you from that bothersome hate to her." Halima smiled faintly, hope visible in her eyes.

"Would you, Logain?" Halima asked, her voice high with sudden hope. "I can make sure she will more... open to some suggestion you would make for her." Gawyn growled something, his mouth moved, but she heard not a sound, a shield against eavesdropping, from her! Halima looked at him and nodded slowly, Logain simply smiled.

"As you say, Asha'man Gawyn." Halima said, "But promise to tell me the next time you two will have a fight, I can convince her not to be angry with you." Egwene wished she could kill the woman, but Halima was stronger in the One Powerthan any woman in the White Tower. And she guarded herself twice as much as any Asha'man near an Aes Sedai. Egwene had already tried to convince Asha'mans to kill her, she tried everything, from bribe to treats. Nothing convinced one of the black clad men to do anything except mock her.

"Why you summoned the meeting, Logain?" She asked, maintaining a calm voice and face was the hardest thing she did in her life.

"I didn't," the man replayed slowly, "I thought you did. Where are the others?" He sounded as if he was telling the truth. So far, save twice, Rand was the only one summoning those meeting. In those two times, everything seemed to be ready to crush down on them, each time, it was Rand who saved them, barely.

"They will be here shortly, I assume. Wait," Gawyn said, as calm as a lake in midwinter. He sat back in his chair, Logain and Halma took theirs. Halima was marked  with the a big cat's face, with fangs shaped as the Dragon's tooth, a sign of evil since the Breaking. The sign for saidin, in the Age of Legends. For once, Egwene agreed to the sign, it was Halima's choice. A fitting once. Logain's sign was a dragon wounding itself around a silver sword, the same as his pin, only the sign held the Symbol of Light in the background, it was the Black Tower's sign.

None of them talked, there was nothing she had to say to Logain, and Gawyn could all but read her mind. Halima, she would give only death or discomfort. Halima watched the two men with open interest. For herself, Egwene leaned back in her chair, staring at Gawyn. He had changed much since the day she had bonded him. Not just Rand finding out that he had the spark, but in other ways also. He was an Asha'man, with every meaning of the word. She pained every moment away from him while he learned to use the power, feared with every breath that he might burn himself out. Or kill himself during learning. He refused to go the Black Tower, foolishly declaring that he can refuse to touch the True Source if he doesn't wish it. Rand had his way with him, as he seemed to have with everyone. Egwene didn't understand how the Asha'man arranged rank between themselves. All she knew that it had nothing about strength in the power, or age. Gawyn held a high position in the Black Tower, that was all Egwene knew. Gawyn refused to explain it to her, saying only that it was a matter of the Black Tower and no the White.

Her eyes shifted to Logain, he leaned back in his chair, he had white in his hair, Egwene heard Halima saying once that all he needed was to be little bit taller and ten years older to look like Lews Therin's brother. He ruled the Black Tower ever since Taim... disappeared, not long after Rand and Nynaeve cleaned the taint. Rand admitted killing Taim, so Elayne said, but nothing more could be dragged out of the woman, nor from anyone else. The Black Tower held its secrets well, nearly as well as the White Tower held its own secrets. All she knew was that more than one hundred Asha'mans had disappeared after the Cleansing. It was something to wonder about, had Taim gone mad, and the others? Or had Rand simply killed the man when he learned about Logain? Either way, Rand trusted Logain, and like him. What couldn't have been said about Taim.

Halima made her angry simply by seating strait in her chair, toying with a single golden bracelet. Her only other piece of jewelry was a thin golden necklace with a emerald stone hanging down her throat. Her eyes were far off. The woman had used the power on her, used it so she agreed to anything the woman suggested. The second time she was a puppet.

She was one of the Forsakens, but Rand trusted her with his life. Rand, it all centered around Rand, or so it seemed. With him dead, she would never understand all his moves, there seemed to be no limit to the amount of things he could handle at the same time. More than once, she thought everything was about to crush, and every last time Rand had done something to save everything, often it was more than risky, as often, it was pure luck that save them all. Twice that she knew about Rand had showed cruelty that made even Halima disgusted.

Egwene wasn't sure how human Rand was at the end. He was swallowed entirely in winning the Last Battle. But it was Halima she thought about, not Rand. In a way, it was Logain who saved her, equally strong in saidin, the battle between him and Halima could've ended with the death of either one of them, or both. She still remember how she tried to protect the woman, when Logain traveled into her study, while Halima played with her like a puppet. And she would make sure she would pay, sooner or later. She savored on the memory of Halima's face, heartbeats after Logain threw himself on her, kissing her. She will carry to her grave the memory of this. Asha'man bonded by a kiss, and a warder had to obey her Asha'man. Halima accepted her defeat gracefully, Egwene admitted bitterly. What she still hadn't understood was why Rand hadn't killed the woman. She knew Logain had brought her to Rand. And she knew exactly how much Rand hated any of the Forsaken. Egwene couldn't even begin to understand what was happening between Halima and Logain. The man had two other warders save Halima. Toviene and Leane at least belonged to Light. Halima had sworn her soul to the Shadow. Only the bond kept her loyal to Logain. How could such a woman be trusted was beyond her. And why Rand allowed it was a mystery she didn't even bother thinking about. Rand did strange things more often than not.

The sound of soft steps was the only warning she had as Mat entered the Hall, quieter than the night and twice as grim, he was clad in blood red and dark green, the Band's colors. A white hand on the left side of his breast. Tuon was a step before him, her soft thread sounding loud next to Mat's complete silence. Egwene smiled at Mat, although inside she grieved for him as much as she did Rand. Mat's eyes never rested, even here, he constantly searched for danger. He was the closest thing to a warder for Tuon as can be reached without the One Power.

"Egwene," Tuon said, her voice icy. "You were the one summoning this meeting?" Rand wanted peace in the world, and she wasn't the only one who felt the edge of Rand's sword on her throat. Tuon didn't like it one bit more than Egwene herself did, but she had no more choice. Rand gave the world a peace, The Peace Of The Sword. The Council was his way of reminding her, and others, that they had to obey. Tuon probably hated being force to obey even more than she did.

Mat simply nodded at her, he didn't return her smile. He hardly smiled at all, this days. The light of amusement in his eyes, as if he could always find a funny side in everything had faded. Mat threatened to switch her the last time she tried to question him about the problems he was neck deep in. She thought he meant it. He was the only man in the world, save the Asha'man, that could make this threat to her. She knew few things, she had only three eyes-and-ears in Sendar, but what she knew was enough to grieve Mat. There was no love between him and Tuon, why he had married the woman was a mystery to her. She thought him wiser.

"I didn't; and Logain claim he hadn't." She said, it wasn't that she hated Tuon, not exactly. But she couldn't like the woman. Mat sat down on his chair, a silver fox, with ravens on each of the fox's shoulders. More than fitting to the Empress' Hands, as he was known in Seanchan. She had only three eyes-and-ears in Sendar, but it was more than enough to know how deeply Mat had changed. It wasn't only the lack of life in his eyes, Shen an Calhar was feared worst than the Seekers in Seanchan. Close to fifty thousands soldiers, they had quelled down three rebellions, facing odds of three to one at best. Mat had never lost a battle. Rumors connected Mat to Tuon's mother's death. And to the deaths of the leaders of the rebellions. Egwene had been forced to believe this, she had no idea how Mat had done it, Seanchain nobles guarded themselves more than any king, and for good reasons. But everyone opposing Tuon had simply died, usually in their beds, their throats slit open wide, and every last time Mat wasn't in the Court of the Nine Moons when the murders took place. Tuon ruled well, but Egwene wondered if she knew how much she owed to Mat. Being an Empress didn't make her invulnerable to knifes. Mat was the one who made sure that no noble in Seanchan would even consider disobeying Tuon. Those who did died.

Tuon took her own chair, near Mat, a raven in dive, surrounded by nine silver moons. "Then who?" Tuon demanded. "I don't like this place." Neither did Egwene.

"I suggest you would wait, Empress." Mat said, she had never heard him calling Tuon anything but Empress. He turned to Gawyn, speaking in a voice too low for her to hear without embracing the One Power. Logain rose from his chair and moved closer. The three men speaking quietly, Logain rose his head once to glare at Tuon, before returning his attention to the conversation. Tuon stared at her husband, she had a dagger in her hands, she was toying with it. Egwene suspected that she wanted more than toy with the dagger. Mat walked on the razor's edge with Tuon. Halima was still deep in her thoughts, Egwene would have given much to know what the woman was thinking about. Something vile, no doubt.

The dagger disappeared from Tuon's hands, she leaned back in her chair, and closed her eyes. She seemed to be sleeping. It was a habit she had, she thought better that way, so she claimed. She had let her hair grow, a violation of Seanchain customs. Dark hair that reached her shoulders. That was the only change in her since Mat married her. For reasons Egwene couldn't understand, he didn't seem to love her. Nor she him, but he let her command him in a way that made Egwene open her mouth in astonishment, no matter how many times she had seen it. Not for the first time, she thought about asking Tuon how she had done so. If only she wasn't so arrogant..

"Egwene," The voice behind her made her jump out of her chair, she gave Elayne a strong, careful hug. Gawyn left Mat and Logain, and bowed to Elayne. "Stop this, Gawyn." Elayne berated him, only faintly smiling. "We're not in the Lion Palace." Stepping back from Elayne, Egwene examined her. Elayne wore a green dress, and her pregnancy was visible. Elayne looked almost as she always did, glowing with health, yet her eyes were tinged with red. Egwene couldn't imagine how it was like for her, losing Rand. How Elayne could endure such a lose? Egwene's heart cringed only thinking about losing Gawyn. Helping his sister seat, Gawyn was half overjoyed seeing Elayne. Half worried over her. Elayne chair's, of course, was carved in Andor's Lion, white on red field. Birgitte hadn't moved more than three steps away from Elayne. She hadn't since the day Rand died. Despite everything Elayne had said to her, Birgitte couldn't protect Elayne from what harmed her now. But she could give some comfort.

Her chair, the one next to Elayne, was marked with a single silver arrow, on dark green field. "How are you?" Gawyn asked, suddenly his face flushed, "I meant..."

Elayne touched his face fondly with one hand, "It's all right, Gawyn." But her eyes were dark, Birgitte laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'll be fine." She will never be, Egwene knew. Sometimes Egwene thought that the only thing that kept Elayne from dying was having Rand's child. "Aviendha will not come, I fear. She is too busy taking care for Teadra." That was another thing to wonder, Rand had married Elayne and Aviendha and Min. Why Elayne agreed to this, how could Elayne agree to this, was another thing that Egwene couldn't understand. Their seemed to be too much she hadn't understood. She reminded herself to visit Aviendha, Light, she was just too busy being an Amyrlin to visit her friends, this would have to change. But above all that, she knew that Rand had made Elayne more happy than she was ever was. And Aviendha and Min too. It was all that she cared, in the end.

"How is Aviendha? And Teadra?" She asked, it was strange of Aviendha, giving her daughter one Birgitte's names. Or maybe it was Rand's choice. Though he hadn't lived to see Teadra, of course.

"Aviendha is sleeping," Birgitte replayed from her chair, she hadn't looked at her, her eyes were on Elayne, "she needs to sleep. Teadra has a good lungs, and she like to show them. The girl has to learn the meaning of the word silence." But her smile was all too wide. She was as proud in Teadra as Aviendha was. Elayne's warder was just as protective and motherly with Min's son, Rand lived to see his son, at least. And Lezan was eight months old already.

"Will Min come?" Min parted her time between her son and her books, Egwene had no idea what she loved more. Egwene hoped she would, too long since she had seen her too.

Elayne laid a hand on her stomach, groaning and muttering something barely audible. "She will," She said, Elayne was impatient to have her own baby. To stop the baby's kicking as much as for any other reason, so she claimed. No one believed her. "She wanted to finish reading a page before she would come." Not surprising, with Min. The woman loved books as much as she did Rand.

"You have only a month more to bear, sister." Gawyn said cheerfully, "I'm sure it's not that bad." Elayne's glare slide right past him, "Beside, I doubt if there is any other way to have the baby." Halima laughed softly to this.

"Wait until Egwene will have a baby, Gawyn. Then you will understand fully how bad it's. I wish I didn't have to kill Osan'gar, maybe he could have planned a more comfortable way." The dark woman said. Egwene stared at her sharply, she couldn't be implying that she was... No, it was simply impossible.

Elayne nodded to herself, staring at Logain's warder, "How long?" Halima became red, her eyes lying on Logain, she said nothing.

"Did I missed something?" Min's voice was as throaty as always, but she looked even sadder than Elayne was, which took something.

Halima sprang from her chair, she was the first to reach Min. For some reason, Min liked Halima. Logain began to move also, but stopped as soon as Halima reached Min. "Oh, Light," Min breathed, "I'm not that weak." A Trolloc's spear in her side nearly killed her, in the Last Battle, and she nearly died before she was healed. It did nothing to stop Halima. Min's chair was carved as a hawk with fierce eyes, floating over white clouds.

Mat had watched with cold eyes, not even bothering to make a show of caring. What happened to him, to change him so much? "Only three more before we can start," He said, "When will Narishma and Mierin appear?" They were in Shara, ruling the country and the Silver Tower both. That was all she knew, the Gray Asha'man never spoke to anyone unless spoken to, and nothing made them talk about their homeland.

"I talked with Mierin few hours ago," Halima said, no wonder, both women belonged to the Shadow. Yet it seemed impossible to take down Mierin. Aes Sedai weren't allowed in Shara, and although the blues had more than few eyes-and-ears in that distant land, the reports held more lies than truth. "She said they would come, but they might be late, there was an.. emergency there, and Mierin seemed... eager to take care of that." What was the woman talking about?

"And that means?" Gawyn asked, as always, making her feel that her mind was entirely exposed to him.

Halima giggled! "They were held back by a group of their children, they shouldn't have adopted so much of those who were born to the women who could channel in Shara. The other Gray Asha'man could handle that."

"With the warders they have?" Logain inquired, "They have too much troubles keeping their throats whole to have time to take care for children. And the Black Tower has taken as much as it could already."

"Six thousands only, Logain." Halima replied, "We can have twice as much easily!"

"Argue later!" The man stepped out of the shadows, as dark as the woman near him was pale. Ilyena Sunhair, as she was once called, Nemesis, as she named herself now. She wasn't Valir's warder, nor he was her, not as far as Egwene knew. But the two rarely seen away from one another. "Who summoned us?"

"I did," Mat replied.

"Why hadn't you told me this, Husband!" Tuon hissed.

"You never asked," His voice was cold as ice. "All we've now to do is to wait for Mierin to show up, only then I can give you the reason for this summon."

Gawyn touched her hand, "Hold on, dear. There will be here shortly."

Egwene sniffed at him arrogantly, "I do hope so!"

"When you were named Jaem Giant-Slayer I fought by your side, as we slay the Giant Mosk." The woman stood in front of him, her hair, and her temper, resembled very much a hot flame. "When the Dark One broke free of his prison I fought by your side, Lews Therin! I fought the Trolloc Wars, seen my land die and die with my country! I am as committed to this as you are, Dragon! And I will not allow you to do what you're planning."

"My name is Rand al'Thor," He said softly, coldly, the softness of a blade drawn, the coldness of a fresh grave. "What is the name you use, this days? Alsbet, the Queen of All, who battled the Giant Mosk. Or should I name you Telidar Therin Mirlil, and call you sister? Or do you go by the name Eldrene ay Ellan ay Carlan, and still grief lost Manetheren? Be the name you go by as it may be, you can't stop me."

"No," The man by her side agreed, "None of us can, not by ourselves, Dragon. You can best the best, here, and in the waking world, to whom you will not return. You may not return. The law is clear. A law you have forged yourself! You are the dragon, you cannot allow yourself take the risk!"

"Indeed, Hawkwings." Rand agreed, his eyes far off, how long ago he created this law. "But there are times where not even I can abide the law. Sometimes, the price is too heavy." Arthur began to open his mouth, but Rand raise a hand tiredly. "Can you truly tell me that I do not deserve it? When did I last lived a life without storms of battle and winds of war? When wasn't I directed by duty and honor and the Dark One's defeat? Don't I, too, deserve to live a life free of war, life where I will not have to guard my back, or fear for those who I dear? Don't I have the right for it? Haven't I paid enough to have it? Tell me that I do not deserve it, Artur Hawkwing. Tell me, and I will remain here. Say it loud and clear, so I know your words for true! Say it, if you can!"

"You have earned that right more than any of us here, Dragon. Thousand fold more than any of us ever had, but you still may not go. Duty bind you, Dragon. And you must disregarded it, not once in all of your life times." The woman fell silent, everything in her showed that she was sure she had won the argument.

"Then maybe it's time for me to begin," Rand said coldly, "There are times, sister. When even duty empty itself of all content. Enough is enough, I've given enough of myself, long enough, to do as I please."

"A lovely speech, Lews Therin." Another man shimmered near them, rumors flied fast, here as elsewhere. "I just wonder who you're trying to convince. Her or yourself."

"Why did you summon the council?" Gawyn asked, neither Logain nor Halima seemed even slightly surprised. Mat produced three balls of nowhere and began juggling them in the air, leaning back in his chair. "I will tell you when Mierin show up."

Elayne drew herself up, "I don't have the time to wait, Matrim Cauthon!"

"You do," Halima said calmly, "The baby wouldn't be born for at least a month, I can promise you that."

Elayne gave a start, her hand touching her stomach before her eyes turned into cold storm. "What have you done to me?"

Halima stared at her for a moment, "I did nothing, I simply checked how is the baby. Do you want to know the gender?"

"The gender?" Elayne stared at the dark woman in shocked surprise. Then she shocked her head, "No, I think I better not. I would like to be surprised."

Halima shrugged, "As you wish, although I doubt that you'll enjoy the... surprise."

Logain threw his head back and laughed, ignoring the hard glares Halima and Elayne gave him. There was nothing funny in Halima's words.

"They are coming," Gawyn said quietly. Egwene heard them too, anyone could hear them, they argued in voices loud enough to be heard on Tar Valon! The subject, however, was unclear. Someone about a boy or a man named Seleamon was all she managed to hear before they fell silent. Narishma eyes, as always, seemed to penetrate into the back of her skull, reading her mind. Mierin, as well, looked just as she always did. Cold and cool, with blue eyes that revealed nothing and her hair falling back, the silvery hair making stunning contrast against the black she constantly wore now.

"Now they are here," Egwene said sharply to Mat, not letting the couple that came in to say a word. "Why are we here?"

"Very simple," Mat replied, then waited for Narishma and Mierin to seat down. Mierin was smiling haughtily at her direction. Narishma frowning. Mierin's chair had a white stars that made the from of a hawk. Narishma's chair was decorated with a gray tower on the background of the ancient symbol of Aes Sedai. "I've my orders. And they were... very strict."

"Orders, husband?" Tuon said with a placid voice, "Who can give you orders, save me?" The last two words weren't said aloud, yet they hand in the air nevertheless.

"Rand al'Thor." Mat answered without a moment of hesitation. Elayne gasped. Logain tensed, but Halima relaxed, she nodded to herself, half smiling, as if this was just the thing she expected. Toun kept her face calm. The others, hope and fear, mingled together. In her as well in others. Mat opened his mouth again, and repeated his words, deepening the shock, "My orders came from Rand al'Thor, the Dragon bloody Reborn." He sound as if he hardly believed his own words, "A man dead for more than half a year."

Yes, it ends here, incomplete. Sorry about that

No creature of the Blight entered deep cave in the Mountains of Dhoom. No Shadowspawn would have dared. Not even a direct command from one of the Chosen, or from the Great Lord of Dark itself would have convinced any to go down to the depth of that cave. The Chosen themselves wouldn't have entered that cave unless ordered by the Great Lord. For what lied in there was deadly in potential even to them. Yet, despite the danger, now one invaded the cave, walking down a rocky path into endless darkness.

A mydraal, clad in the dead black all fades wore, stepping with a ball of darkness lightening its way in silver light. Taller than any Myrdraal, Shaidar Haran stepped down into the forbidden cave in the Blight. A secret long forgotten, the chosen knew its secret, as well as the Great Lord himself, and now Shaidar Haran as well. None other knew about this place, and the dragon must never learn. The myrdraal reached the end of the tunnel, he stepped lightly, the place was dangerous, very much dangerous, especially for the like of him.

The slivery light shined over metallic scales in gold and red, and the Hand of Dark took a step back. For the first time in his life, Shaidar Haran felt fear. The creature was fifty feet long, and at least five feet thick. The head lied over the body, it was easily as big as Shaidar Haran's body, capable of swallowing him in one snatch. The creature lied asleep, a snake the size of a small house. Sharp teeth could be seen through half open mouth, fully open, it would be taller than Shaidar Haran by three feet.

A fearsome creature, even to the Hand of the Dark. More fearsome for it was no shadowspawn, nor any creature of the dark.

A dragon, the most deadliest creature on earth, only THE dragon could control the creature.

The dragon created them, only twelve, and only this one survived the War of Power, even after three thousands years, Shaidar Haran felt the creature breathing in its sleep. Like a strong wind, he stared down at his cloak, troubled, no wind could move his cloak, nor the strongest storm on earth, but his cloak, to the breath of this creature, moved.

A night black sword appeared in his hand, and he put it an inch from the Dragon's eye, there could be not much of armor here, the closed eyelid couldn't protect the eye from a sword sharper than any razor, and then his sword would find the brain, quick death for the last of the dragons.

But he sheathed his sword with an inaudible sigh, he had his orders. And he wouldn't disobey a direct command from the Great Lord, yet. And he was warned that countless thousands died in order to try harming the last dragon, none even awaked the creature.

He turned his back to the creature, and walked away.

There would be no trouble from this direction, he dared hope, the dragon slept, may the Great Lord gaurd its dreams through out eternity. Shaidar Haran felt strength in the creature, the same as he felt when he watched the Dragon Reborn, the ancient enemy of his master.

It meant nothing, it would sleep until the end of time, or die in its sleep, if they had any luck.

Deep in the cave in the Mountains of Doom, a dragon woke, stretching limbs unused for over two thousands years. He had waken to the Trolloc wars, a wonderful time for the like of the dragon. There was much food then. Now, he had been awoken again, and the reason was still unknown to it.

It was a beautiful sight, seeing the Dragon moving, a snake-like creature moving on four strong feet, claws bigger than a man's arm, sharper than daggers. Slowly, he exit the cave that was its home for so long, all it took was one swing of that huge tail, twelve feet long, covered with armed scales, and the entrance collapsed. It smelled the air, a scent reached its nose, the sweet odor of a Trolloc and the even sweeter of a Myrdraal. It hadn't feast for thousands of years, it was hungry. VERY hungry.

It began to run, following the smell, ready to hunt.

The dragon lift its head from its twenty seventh Trolloc, growling at the skies. a piece of myrdraal's cloth still hung to his mouth, it was ripped apart with one motion of it's left front leg. The call was being heard again, the sound that awoke it.

The sound it made could be describe only as a song. A dragon answering to the call he was being bred to answer to the call. It began to ran, faster than any horse, it would keep this rate until it would reach its master. Lews Therin Telamon, Rand al'Thor, as they named him in this age.

The lord of the dragons!